So ladies.... how should I respond?

[randomguy85]

I know they agreed on next week. But if she's a busy girl, he may have to book in early for next week....

Most people, especially me, since I have my company to take care of, can't make plans that early, and I hate cancelling. I usually don't know my schedule until late in the week. Only my really important stuff I have to schedule that far in advance.
Guess everyone prioritizes their schedules differently, but I usually have a few nights a week where I can do something.

[searock]

Randomguy85, dunno if it makes a difference in terms of you listening to my advice, but I'm a woman. As is Basilandthyme. Just saying.

[randomguy85]

Randomguy85, dunno if it makes a difference in terms of you listening to my advice, but I'm a woman. As is Basilandthyme. Just saying.

I know. I'm just saying I know from experience. I've made a lot of mistakes in my dating career, like other guys. I've def. made some mistakes trying to schedule something too.
Not saying I'm right and you're wrong. It's advice. Take it or leave it, but he deserves to see it from both points of view. Yeah, this is the ask the girl forum, haha. I still like to give my experiences.

Every girl is different, which is why we mess things up so much. Guys are easy...give us a chance, most of us will take it.

[randomguy85]

Let me make sure I clarify we are both right, IMO.

There are stages in the "game", where it's okay to schedule things that far in advance. This guy hasn't had been with her, I don't believe, in a social setting. They are still very early in the "game" where she's still playing way too much. He asks too early and he's gonna appear to be chasing her too much.
Let me also direct you to the county symbol on below my user name. US girls play the game WAY too much...way more than any other country out there. So take that into consideration. I've been to other countries, and continents where it is not like that.

[Silent Siren]

She's probably busy all week. Don't assume she's lying.
Today is Monday and I knew Friday that this week was going to busy as hell for me.
Some people have a busy work week and can't be going out at night.


Just text her something like. "Cool...We'll set something up later this week." and be done with it. DO NOT text her asking what day next week. She'll think that you are making room for her, and not the other way around....remember, you're the one who asked her out.

Don't screw it up by texting too much until you text her to make plans for next week. If you text her too much she'll assume she is your only option.

This...great advice!

[Silent Siren]

Let me make sure I clarify we are both right, IMO.

There are stages in the "game", where it's okay to schedule things that far in advance. This guy hasn't had been with her, I don't believe, in a social setting. They are still very early in the "game" where she's still playing way too much. He asks too early and he's gonna appear to be chasing her too much.
Let me also direct you to the county symbol on below my user name. US girls play the game WAY too much...way more than any other country out there. So take that into consideration. I've been to other countries, and continents where it is not like that.

This is true and I don't like making plans too far in advance. But if I'm really interested in a guy, I will squeeze in time for him in a busy schedule. If I'm not really interested or I haven't been out with him yet, he is my last priority. I've had guys make dates with me weeks in advance (like for a play or something specific) that I forgot and ended up overscheduling. At that point, I would choose the guy I liked the best and break plans with the other (usually the one who made plans weeks in advance). Someone who invites me to something weeks ahead seems too desperate...and he's usually the one blowing up my phone with texts daily. FYI...all this was back before I got into a serious relationship (for those who have seen my other posts about the boyfriend).

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You sound like such a bitch right now. If you think it's too early to set up next week, then wait until later. She probably has some passive interest, but isn't overly excited. If you get an audience with her, maybe you can excite her, but from what you've shown here, I doubt it.

[Carlito]

I sound like a bitch? Maybe women should just be upfront and say no and not drag things out if they have no intention. That's being a bitch actually.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Maybe women should just be upfront and say no and not drag things out if they have no intention. That's being a bitch actually.

I agree..so, why are you still pursuing? Seriously, treat this girl as nothing more than a piece of ass if you even get the chance to do that, because she is not someone you want to open yourself up to.

[searock]

Maybe women should just be upfront and say no and not drag things out if they have no intention.

True, both women and men should be good at communicating what they want. In this case, the way for you to find out right now whether she's blowing you off or she's genuinely busy, is to downright ask her to set a specific date that works for her. You don't want to do that because you'd rather play games... so it's your mistake as much as hers. Just be direct ffs.

[Aly2525]

We'll I mean I think it's a good sign that she suggested an alternate time, I'm a girl and if I wasn't interested I wouldnt try and sugarcoat it I'd just say I was busy and I couldn't I wouldn't try to make another plan that's id have to make and excuse to get out of , ya know what I mean ? I'd just say no ,so that could mean that she wants to and is legitimately busy this week, but yeah I'd definitely clarify what day so ur not just left hanging

[searock]

Anyway, ever considered how women that tell guys explicitly "I'm not interested in you" get labelled as "stuck-up", "snobby" or downright "bitches" or even "lesbians"? Because that's what happens most of the times (there are exceptions of course, between you know, decent human beings). Even just during street harassment (when guys catcall or whistle at a woman and she ignores them or gets mad at them or whatever), they shout after her "bitch" or "lesbian"... that's just the way things are wired in our society. Other examples: stalker ex boyfriends or stalker rejected "friends" - it can actually get scary and dangerous, so you need to be very careful when you reject someone. Also, the whole "friendzone" concept that villifies women that are unfortunate enough to be friends with a guy they are not attracted to and who is attracted to them (again, there are loads of exceptions in which the guy doesn't act all sexist about it but the general trend is that). Consider all of this, before complaining that "women" should be more upfront in their rejections.

I do agree that women should be more upfront when they reject someone, so even more strongly I believe women should be able to do so without having to suffer negative consequences.

Also, it's hard, in general (i.e. even for a guy) to reject someone. It's just human to try and not be mean about it. Of course there's a difference between saying "I'm busy, sorry" (which is letting down without being rude) and saying "I'm busy, how about next week?" (which, if it is a rejection, is a very ineffective and confusing and unfair one), so obviously this last paragraph does not apply to the case at hand (whether she was rejecting you or was genuinely busy), it's just a general consideration.