what you think love is is the equivalent of having a crush on someone.
you love them. Poets describe it as "longing" "sexual tension" "Butterflies in the stomach"
its like loving a good computer game. You are loving it for a year or two or three. Even if its shit or frustrating or your no good at it.
And then there is the fairy tale love. Its when two people have a crush on each other instantly developed.
and then there is deep connecting love.
And here it gets very difficult to explain.
Maybe you have read the harry potter series. Snape loves lilly. Harry loves his friends (and has a crush on ginny).
The deep love is a basic need for the other person. Its a need for them to be happy.
I once described it as a "burning in the soul" and felt pretty dumb and wise at the same time afterwards (thats a strange feeling^^)
The deep connecting love is not a feeling that is as noticeable as having a crush on someone. For me it was burried beneath a many of feelings (boredome, the fading out of having a crush, my own insecurity)
but once you have got it you just want the world to be at peace for the once you love.
Its less noticeable, but even trying to describing it (and desperatly trying not to (and failing at it) make a fool out of myself) it feels so strong and real.
Its like when you walk on a cloudy day and you look at the ground and after a while you realise that the sun has indeed been shining upon you and you realise how vital that has been. It like that - just from the inside.
im not sure if that even makes sense to you or to anyone else
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Originally Posted by
richiro
the thign about love and feelings are - its very personal, specific. Love is different from "relationsihp".
for instance.. you are saying that you LOVE that girl or thought it was love, "but since she didn't love you back it wasn't love?" no.. that's incorrect.
what is correct is that you were IN LOVE with her. she was NOT in love with you. therefore there is no relationship. LOVE and RELATIONSHIP are separate beasts altogether.
LOVING somebody and being IN LOVE are also very separate concepts. I can be IN LOVE with Alicia silverstone but i dont' LOVE her b/c i dont' know anything about her and don't know that we are compatible b/c we've never met.
being IN LOVE is about what we want and feel.
LOVING somebody is about what we give to another human being.
so we have to first differentiate all thse terms instead of lumping them all together.
you were IN LOVE with her (but did not love her).
she was NOT in love with you.
Therefore there is no relationship here.
haha nice
thats actually a good way to put it
being IN LOVE would be my equivalent as to having a crush on someone
and LOVING is not about you (solely) anymore
its about them
If you think I am insulting you with my post or bashing you: You do not get the point.
I am not here to insult or bash anyone. I offer up my free time to help. Take from my post what is useful to you.
If you are angry about my post or myself, then please stop and think how that happened. Usually that is the way the brain responds if a critical belief system is challenged (its called cognitive dissonance). If you have trouble with it please answer in the thread. I will come back to you.