I love you notes to your ex?

[MaidenMinx]

HIA, I learnt about the I statements in effective parenting training, and my first thought was this should be compulsory learning in high school world wide. I think if everyone learnt how to communicate effectively we'd have a lot less issue with communication cages.

OP, while making your I statement try to avoid making too big a deal about it. When I got together with my man I had a problem with the fact that he'd call female friends babe. I told him one day, he said it was force of habit and he's try and tone it down. I started calling him baby rather than babe so there'd be some variation. He started calling his female friends baby too! That was about the time I realised that this was rather ingrained in him and wasn't meant as a personal slight to me.

For your GF it may be important to her that the people she loves know it. I have exes that I think of more as friends I was intimate with rather than exes. The way I loved them was so different to how I love my fiance, that even though I have love for them (in one way or another) that love pales in comparison to what I share with my man.

Let her know how you feel but also realise it might not change things.

[HeartIsAching]

HIA, I learnt about the I statements in effective parenting training, and my first thought was this should be compulsory learning in high school world wide. I think if everyone learnt how to communicate effectively we'd have a lot less issue with communication cages.

OP, while making your I statement try to avoid making too big a deal about it. When I got together with my man I had a problem with the fact that he'd call female friends babe. I told him one day, he said it was force of habit and he's try and tone it down. I started calling him baby rather than babe so there'd be some variation. He started calling his female friends baby too! That was about the time I realised that this was rather ingrained in him and wasn't meant as a personal slight to me.

For your GF it may be important to her that the people she loves know it. I have exes that I think of more as friends I was intimate with rather than exes. The way I loved them was so different to how I love my fiance, that even though I have love for them (in one way or another) that love pales in comparison to what I share with my man.

Let her know how you feel but also realise it might not change things.

I don't know how familiar you are with my history, but I've been nothing but open about it - both here and in my R/L. I got arrested and plead guilty to domestic violence nearly three years ago - I first got exposed to I Statements in my court-ordered Batterers Intervention course. Personally, I think they should start teaching kids effective communications (including I Statements) in 2nd or 3rd grade. It's been a tremendous help to me, as well as some other things I've learned. Several months ago, my wife and I hit our first snag, and when I found myself getting angry, the first thing (no, REALLY!) I did was examine my own feelings and figure out what I was really feeling, then I asked myself what I could do to fix it, and it occurred to me that I could use an I Statement to put my case to my wife. It really worked. I was out on my bike when my wife called (I'm kind of a bicycle nut) and she asked what I was upset about. I told her I'd discuss it with her when I got home. I got home, presented my case in the approved manner, she listened and said "You know what, you're completely right. I'll do that." and she has, it was a real eye-opener for me.

[HeartIsAching]

Co-dependency.

No ConniptionTwit, I don't need her to make me happy. I just love her enough that if she wanted to go I'd not get in her way.