BF doesnt find me attractive anymore.

[Mish]

Oh I just remembered something, he's been feeling like I havent been living up to my potential. .

Well, the best revenge is to have a good life. Be the best you can be. Live up to your potential. Be happy with yourself, you don't need him for that. Confidence and happiness attracts. IF you're confident and happy I have no doubt he will find you attractive again

[kalupe]

well, him enjoying himself more when he's with friends more than with you says a lot. at the middle of your post, my instincts were already shouting DUMP HIM. you don't need someone who puts you down everytime. prove to him that you're way better than what he thinks of you. pfft, he's such an ass. for all you know, he's prolly just waiting for you to break up with him first so he wouldn't have to feel bad.

[Herz]

I broke up with him..

He came home late and I caught him before he went to go hang out with his friends. I told him I think we should break up, and he said ok. and then we were both silent, and he asked me if that was it and I said pretty much. And I asked him what he thought and he said he wanted to wait and see how it played out. And I told him it was unfair for him to say those things to me and expect me to wait until he makes up his mind. He seemed kind of upset and wouldnt look at me, he just folded his clothes. And I told him to come talk to me in the back room and he made fun of me for calling the closet/hallway a back room. He kept smiling and chuckling, I think thats his defense mechanism. I told him I was still confused about what he was trying to figure out, and he got angry and said he didnt know and that if he did her would tell me and that I should know that. and i asked another question about and he got more angry so i dropped it. And told him he hasnt treated me like a girlfriend, but more like a roommate. He said sorry for that. I told him if he ever figures out whats going on with himself he can come and talk to me. And then he asked what he should do when he figures things out. I said what ever you want. And then he left to go hang out with his friends.

And yeah now I want to get back together with him because he showed some kind of emotion about our relationship... he's an asshole. I really feel like we should talk more, but theirs always distractions.

It's stupid because I keep getting these really strong feelings that I should still be with him. They're just sadness I guess and regret of being rejected.

[kalupe]

pfft, him smiling and chuckling after a break doesnt look like he's being serious about it. but oh well, you say it's prolly just his defense mechanism but idk. one thing i agree with you, is he's an asshole.

he obviously cares more about fashion now and looking good and all those shit. he's prolly too caught up trying to fit in the new crowd he's with right now. and losing you just for him to feel better as he gets accepted is not worth it. im sure at the end of the day he'll be regretting it.

now, what you should do is just go back to living your life. go out more and have fun. you don't have to wallow and don't let yourself get stuck in that dark corner. be in control this time. just...try not to think about him and be too busy living your life.

to think after breaking up he went back to his friends to hang out, LOL. wth??? he didnt even try to fix or talk you out of it, obviously he was just waiting for you to be the one to initiate the break up.

im sorry.

[Mish]

And yeah now I want to get back together with him because he showed some kind of emotion about our relationship... he's an asshole. I really feel like we should talk more, but theirs always distractions.

It's stupid because I keep getting these really strong feelings that I should still be with him. They're just sadness I guess and regret of being rejected.

I'm sorry to hear that Herz. Give him some time to figure out what he wants. Don't contact him. If he wants you back he'll come talk to you like you told him to see how the two of you can work things out, if he doesn't well maybe he's not right for you anyway.

[Herz]

It seriously isnt fair that I'm sitting here feeling like I lost an arm, and he's probably laughing with out a care in the world. It makes me mad. Even more mad when I know I would take him back if he asked. It makes me mad at myself. I think I should keep thinking about that so I dont feel like getting back together with him. I just want him to care about me and be able to show that affection. But i know that's just isnt going to happen.

Im dont think Im sad anymore, I'm really angry that I wasted time with him. And I feel like i got seriously tricked by him.

[IndiReloaded]

Is there some place you can go so you aren't there when he gets back? Family or a friend's place? You need to go somewhere ppl care about you. You've got a cold fish there.

The fact that he said okay when you suggested you break up screams 'emotional retard' to me. His message based on what you post is consistently that he doesn't really care.

Whatever has been going on in your relationship, its over. Long ago. Get out as fast as you can so you can start to heal.

Take care dear.

[Only-virgins]

he's an asshole.

Shouldn't this be enough reason to leave?

[miSSleepy]

He said he doesn't love you anymore.
It's very obvious what you should do.

[Herz]

He texted me this morning.. and Im confused what to do.

thinking about you is making me sick.
I dont feel good and i feel like i hate you. I asked him why.

It has to do with damir (my online friend who use to like me)

I asked him why again... and then he says

I really feel like I hate you I want to ****ing kill myself

... I got scared and panic'd. he's been suicidal in the past.

You make me feel like shit I cant ****in do this anymore.
I dont ****in care anymore your just like the rest

I told him I loved him and I told him the situation that he put me in... and how that made me feel.

so you ****ing break up with me when you start talking to the **** (damir) who will do anything for you? I just needed some ****ing time to get shit straight.

(him and my boyfriend hate eachother, because of something that happened to damir's friend... a long and weird one in a million stroy... the world a small place.) He thinks I talk shit about him to damir, but i dont. He also thinks i like him which i dont, we have barely anything in common, and he;s very closed minded. I told him this, and about him talking to his ex girlfriend who still loves him. and he told me he barely talks with her.

it's the ****ing truth too

i told him i know, so believe me when i tell you about damir.

I told him a bunch of other stuff too which i forgot... I told him when he came home he could talk to me, so we can figure out our feelings... Im really scared because i cant express myself verbally... and when i get upset it's alot worse and I just start crying. I'm also scared he wont come back to me... cause he hates me now. And i know most of you are going to be "she's stupid" in your head... but i do love him, we've shared alot of good times, they just equal up to the amount of bad. And he's so creative...

but im not going to get back together with him. Not yet anyways... I dont want him to think im weak. I know we have bad communication... our break up only took a minute. And left questions for both of us. Todays going to be a bad day.

[anachronistic]

Kannst du Deutsch (Herz?)

Anyhow, let him kill himself. Don't waste your time on retarded men.

[IndiReloaded]

but im not going to get back together with him. Not yet anyways...

Is anyone else starting to think that at least some of the issues may not be entirely to do with the BF?

Are you sure you aren't an emotionally confused and insecure control freak, Herz? Sorry, but you aren't playing this guy anymore straight than he is you.

Either break up with him or work on your issues together.

And yes, his threatening suicide is a form of emotional manipulation.

Anyone else want to comment on this? I'm reluctant to give this gal anymore psychological ammunition until I'm convinced she's not going to use it to ream this guy.

[vashti]

It sounds like this guy has some serious issues. I kind of wonder what it is about being treated so poorly that is attractive to you.

[Herz]

Is anyone else starting to think that at least some of the issues may not be entirely to do with the BF?

Are you sure you aren't an emotionally confused and insecure control freak, Herz? Sorry, but you aren't playing this guy anymore straight than he is you.

Either break up with him or work on your issues together.

And yes, his threatening suicide is a form of emotional manipulation.

Anyone else want to comment on this? I'm reluctant to give this gal anymore psychological ammunition until I'm convinced she's not going to use it to ream this guy.

I know this... it sounds bad, and I am confused. But he never seems to want to help work things out. I mean he does but he doesnt change any of the problem areas. Nothing gets resolved. I just thought that maybe by showing him he might lose me, he'd force himself to fix the situation by talking to me for than a few minutes. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. But I am willing to break it completely off if there's no chance of him turning around. I also thought it would be a good chance for him to receive some space. If I was still his girlfriend I'd feel too neglected this way at least I can tell myself he's only neglecting me as a friend. And I also thought it would help me be less clingy and much less often asking him questions about what he is doing or when he is going to be back.

[GrkScorp]

I know this... it sounds bad, and I am confused. But he never seems to want to help work things out. I mean he does but he doesnt change any of the problem areas. Nothing gets resolved. I just thought that maybe by showing him he might lose me, he'd force himself to fix the situation by talking to me for than a few minutes. The last thing I want to do is hurt him. But I am willing to break it completely off if there's no chance of him turning around. I also thought it would be a good chance for him to receive some space. If I was still his girlfriend I'd feel too neglected this way at least I can tell myself he's only neglecting me as a friend. And I also thought it would help me be less clingy and much less often asking him questions about what he is doing or when he is going to be back.

That's cute,

But here's the deal.. you are the kind of girl, that if it takes you more than an hour to get ready for a date, and the guy is waiting like a good polite little boy outside for you.. you lose interest.. "what a wimp".. but find a guy who gets upset because "you're taking forever, you insensitive retarded little b*tch".. and have that man walk outside and tell you he's leaving without you if you don't come out in 2 minutes.. and you'll be ready at the drop of a hat, chase him out the door, and be in love.. Now, you can try and deny it.. that's normal.. that's everyone's first reaction.. looking at a video of yourself.. or a voice recording and thinking.. "haha, there's no way that's me!".. guess what.. it is.. and i'm sure there're instances you can remember where this is exactly you.. "I don't want to lose him".. HIM? Why? Who is he? Besides some guy who just sh*t-calls you and walks away? What about HIM do you like besides the fact that he walks away and gives you that feeling of you losing him? Give that some thought..

As you think about that.. a couple of words about guys like him..

There is a gradient of man:

- Cocky
- Good
- Nice

Now.. most guys are some combination of "cocky" and "nice".. some are too much of one, and too little of the other.. And in between all of that, there's some perfect combination of the two that every woman wants.. You, prefer more cocky over nice.. nice for you is a turn-off.. when you hear and see nice.. you think "girly, wimp, loser".. when you hear and see cocky.. you think "hot, sexy, manly".. and hence, you get what you wish for..

Mike-type: This guy is like my former best-friend Mike.. Very high up in the cocky side.. Where the nicest thing he's done for a girl is not call her a "b*tch, slut, wh0re" all in the same day.. His appeal, was the level to which he was emotionally abusive.. There was a girl who absolutely loved it.. it emotionally stimulated her to no end.. she loved the trill of trying to get on his good side.. or trying to get him to change and do things.. of chasing after him so he wouldn't leave her.. of trying to make him feel bad for cheating on her.. For this girl, Mike was her world.. True story, just different people..

The thing about Mike was, there was no changing him.. he could care less about anyone else.. the only person in his world that mattered was him.. Mike was a rock.. he wasn't some soft ball of clay.. there was no molding him into anything.. there was no compromise, just his way.. period..

So, if all you want, is for things to work out between the two of you.. put what YOU want, on the side, and start to slowly burn it away from your mind.. and just change the way you dress and do your hair.. end of story..

If however, you perhaps get this crazy and wild idea to give yourself some dignity and self-respect.. maybe, i'm just saying.. if you happen to get such an urge.. then tell him to "fcuk off and get lost" and start looking for guys who actually CARE about your needs, wants, feelings, and emotions.. and aren't trying to get their way via manipulating and abusing your emotions constantly..