Abusive husband, crazy family, and a boyfriend...please help!!

[Petit Papillon]

Petit Papillon says:

"Your parents are terrible. If some piece of shit hit and abuse my daughter in any way I would go and kick his ****ing ass!!"

lettuce be real here. You don't have the balls to fight a man. Maybe with a group of your guy friends holding him back but not one-on-one. And even if you did throw the first punch, if he actually wanted to hurt you he would put you in the hospital. Too many action flicks with women in lead roles have fooled girls into believing they can kick men's asses, lol

Maybe I couldn't handle a guy, but I sure would make my husband kick his ****ing ass. That's what fathers are for!

[Petit Papillon]

Would you still feel that way if your son in law called you everyday and after admitting what he did begged you for ideas on how to win your daughter back? And everytime he was sad he called you and cried?

My mom didn't like him when we got married. But she does now.

I would tell him that he should go to get psychological help. And if he wouldn't show me a proof that he actually did something to change (come on cry? I don't ****ing care) then I would still tell him to go **** himself. Sorry, happines of my children over happiness of someone else's children.

[Lilalo]

But what if my parents are right and he really has changed though? He did get physical with me again but he was so mad. I really hurt him. Can it be considered okay, ever? He does seem mildly willing to get help, but it's more of all focused around what I have done now. We had a convo about marital counseling a few weeks ago before he found out that I was talking to the other man and he said he won't see anyone who has a background in domestic violence bc he is not an abuser, and he wouldn't do any of it if I would just stop being so x, y or z. I am just so caught up in all of it, not wanting to lose the life that I always envisioned us having, as well as the security and the fact that my family approves of us. But I also dont want to be stupid and fall back onto the same miserable stuff that I left him for originally, and I really don't want to give upthe great life the bf and I could have. Round and round.

[Petit Papillon]

Stop excusing him for this disgusting behaviour! He's not your daddy to spank you everytime you do something wrong. If he thinks you're doing something wrong, why doesn't he just leave? Woman, leave this jerk and start new... Is it so difficult to see that this marriage is going NOWHERE? and you go to see a terapist too, that's an order right now. Remeber, you can't tolerate abuse,if you do , it means that you're nobody because you let other treat you like nothing.

[VincenzoG91]

But what if my parents are right and he really has changed though? He did get physical with me again but he was so mad. I really hurt him. Can it be considered okay, ever? He does seem mildly willing to get help, but it's more of all focused around what I have done now. We had a convo about marital counseling a few weeks ago before he found out that I was talking to the other man and he said he won't see anyone who has a background in domestic violence bc he is not an abuser, and he wouldn't do any of it if I would just stop being so x, y or z. I am just so caught up in all of it, not wanting to lose the life that I always envisioned us having, as well as the security and the fact that my family approves of us. But I also dont want to be stupid and fall back onto the same miserable stuff that I left him for originally, and I really don't want to give upthe great life the bf and I could have. Round and round.

Stop being so passive.

Stop waiting for problems to solve themselves, or for other people to make up their minds.

Think hard, really hard, about what you want. Then go get it.

That's right, you should take positive action to shape the life that you want. You don't like being beaten, right? So get the hell away from the one guy on this planet who keeps hitting you. If your family doesn't support your efforts, then cut back on talking to them for a while. Time is slipping away, don't waste any more of it.