Depressed...

[ecojeanne]

the future is looking good

[boobaa]

How old are you, nisha?

[Junket]

The less you get sick now, the worse you'll get later. It's best to get sick while you're young and your body can bounce back faster.

Germs are your friends.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I'm 18 Boobaa. As for the dishes, I dont know if I'll ever get over it. Maybe when I get older, but Im not over it yet.

[boobaa]

18 year old shouldn't have a baby. Its not old 19'th century anymore, world is more depressing now. Its obvious you can't be the best mom, because you are so young yet, and still want to have some fun.

I remember times where I've joined with some strangers to drink and there was this 18 year old mom. Her child was at home, and she was out partying... Boyfriend was totally stupid also.
And I have even seen people bring a baby to a bar, put it onto a desk, between all the beers. What the **** is wrong with people? I am not stating this is you, I know you would not ever do such things. But I do think child comes first.

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I understand boobaa, and I already beat myself up for having her so young. I'd never bring her out to places like that. I've seen girls at 16 going to a dance club with their kids in strollers. I'm so against bringing her out at night that I wouldnt even bring her out to the movies. Yea, I think being young takes a toll on why I dont put as much initiative into taking care of her as I should. I dont necessarily want to party, but I do want free time. Time to be alone, you know. But I'm eventually gonna grow out of it. Lately, I've been putting more initiative into spending time with her and playing with her more often. I was doing it alot before, but now I do it alot more often. I dont ever want her to think I'm neglecting her, so I'm honestly trying to improve my motherly skills. I love her too much.

[ecojeanne]

Yea, I think being young takes a toll on why I dont put as much initiative into taking care of her as I should. I dont necessarily want to party, but I do want free time. Time to be alone, you know. But I'm eventually gonna grow out of it. Lately, I've been putting more initiative into spending time with her and playing with her more often. I was doing it alot before, but now I do it alot more often. I dont ever want her to think I'm neglecting her, so I'm honestly trying to improve my motherly skills. I love her too much.

of course you're trying, this is your own flesh and blood. but i can definitely understand the struggle you have within you. you want to be a young kid like all the young kids your age and on the other hand you have this pain in the arse that stops you from having some space to yourself....but you love her and you struggle with these thoughts and wonder about yourself. ladie it's completely normal to think selfishly. i understand the frustration and guilt with all these thoughts and then your mom insulting you on top, it's gotta hurt. you will get thru this. you will have fun again eventually. it's tough and i'm sure you are still scared and annoyed at everything that happened. Forget it, there is nothing you can do about turning back the clock. this is what you have, but like i said the future is looking bright for you, look forward to that, make sure you do go to college in states. enjoy your daughter coz you will feel so guilty later in life

[lesa]

I understand the dish washing thing. I had older brothers and still had to do it but we found a way to do it at the same time. Someone washes and someone dries. That was centuries ago lol.

However, I think you need to work on being a parent. We are not born with those skills. Parenting class is a great suggestion. Changing diapers and preparing milk is a responsibility that a parent needs to do. Remember that sex also has a lot of germs. I do not feel having a sexual relationship of any type is good for you now. I believe going through a period of sexual abstinence will help you greatly as you transition to a wonderful mother. Motherhood and education are your only priorities right now.

Punishment is not leaving a child in a room alone to watch cartoons. I believe parenting classes will help you greatly. Parenthood, I am sure, is both challenging and rewarding. It's the hardest job anyone can ever have. I know you feel overwhelm because you are so young. She is a gift and she will help you transition to a wonderful adult and parent. Take it slowly and ask your mother for guidance.

[vashti]

It's not appropriate to punish a toddler. They are not capable of rational thought or impulse control at that age and therefore are not responsible for their behaviors. Almost anything "bad" or "naughty" that is done by a toddler is a direct result of being unsupervised. The few exceptions would be physical aggression, but they still aren't liable for even that until they are older. Of course they should be corrected with a firm voice and their energies should be redirected, but that is really the extent of appropriate punishment at 18 months.

Nisha, if you are seriously considering putting your little girl up for adoption, you should do it sooner rather than later. It is very hard to place older children.

[Dasein]

Ladie have you ever seriously considered adopting your daughter or is it more of a fleeting thought when you feel a bit weighed down?

[Mish]

*Puts off having children for another 5 years*

[Indignant]

*Puts off having children for another 5 years*

nah, Misha, I am sure you can handle kids. I think it has a lot to with culture and upbringing. We see a lot of supremely responsible young mothers in Russia or here as well. I have a 21 year old friend who has 2 boys already and she is doing a great job. Never complains and she does go out every weekend and leaves the kids with her mom.

[Junket]

American culture rewards those who put their careers and personal freedom first.

[Indignant]

American culture rewards those who put their careers and personal freedom first.

does it really? where do you think i live?

[Junket]

California, was it?

This is truth, why don't more 18 year old girls have children? Because they're supposed to go to college like their male counterparts.

Why don't more 22 year olds have more children? Because why waste that new degree with getting knocked up?