Advice/opinion needed on my situation!!! (email corresponding attached)

[Tigger_]

like i said, we were quite close... we were friends... i never treat any of my students as students.. theyre more like buddies.... thats how my class operates... so, she was also a BUDDY!!!

[Tigger_]

and i think i should update my other thread.... alot has happened since then...

[Ellynn]

she's not engaged anymore...

and i never flirted in class... but we were friends out of it... and yes, i spilled everything while i was teaching her... is that too ethically wrong?? i dont think there is any college laws that i broke...

So, shes not engaged? And you told her how you felt huh? How did she respond and why aren't you with her now? Was she just not interested?


Ethically it is wrong, but when you have instructors that are super cool, down to earth, fun to be around, I can see how you be attracted to one of them and obviousy (from you guys posting) I can tell it works both ways.

But, while you are in position of authority, you need to keep that distance outside of the classroom. (I can see why because of all the crap that can do down etc)

So you did tell her how you felt huh? Did you give her any hints to how you felt beforehand? Did you flirt? I mean, did you try to make it known just to her before you spilled your feelings?

[Ellynn]

I don't necessarily think that anything is wrong with it. I just think that it would be creepy. Know what I'm saying?

I don't think its creepy unless the instructor is like 15-20 yrs older, married w/ kids etc. Also, if the student clearly shows no interest, then he should let it be.

Honestly, as you get older and attend college, chances are, you end up being taught by people your age with simliar interests and have lots in common with them. A friendship can form....as well as more. But there are boundaries. But once that person is no longer in authority over you, I don't see the problem in pursuing something, as long as the interest is mutual.

[Tigger_]

i told her while she was still engaged.... and her engagement didnt break because of me... i wish it had, but its not me... some family issue...

u should read the other thread "lost her before i found her" on the broken hearts page... and i need to update that ... will do it today

[Ellynn]

i told her while she was still engaged.... and her engagement didnt break because of me... i wish it had, but its not me... some family issue...

u should read the other thread "lost her before i found her" on the broken hearts page... and i need to update that ... will do it today

Ok, sounds good.

*Note to person who originally posted this thread* Sorry for hijacking it for a bit.

[Tigger_]

as long as she was engaged, she wasnt interested.... but still very very friendly... so i could say all i wanted and she wouldnt be bothered...

but her engagement just broke about 3 weeks ago... and she needs time...

she hasnt shut me off, but she says she needs time and that her feelings towards me have slightly chanegd...that she likes me a bit more... lets see what happens...

[gardino]

Well, Teacher and Student position status is a very tricky situation for the student side. Because it was hard for her friend for not to make a joke if she had a date with you, trust me on this one. And the second, for some people the teacher was an intimidating person just by being a teacher. So sorry, but i had to say, in my opinion you had disadvantage from the first palce because of your instructor status.

[vashti]

I am close to my professors, too. It's a good thing they're not interested.

You just graduated high school; you don't *have* any professors yet. Anyway, this kind of thing rarely happens with male students. It is almost always the female students being targeted by male professors. I think you are pretty safe.

I don't think a professor should ever date undergrads. Graduate students, maybe, so long as they have absolutely no scholastic interaction.

[anachronistic]

You just graduated high school; you don't *have* any professors yet.

Yes, I do. Funny, that you don't know my personal life, yet dictate to me how you think it is.

[meh]

Man those were some creepy e-mails right there. Stop it. Now. She's not interested.

[Gigabitch]

Can't tell what she's thinking, can't tell what's going on in her personal life, but no matter what, you shouldn't email her any more.

At this point, you've shown your interest very clearly. One more email, and you'll fall into the abyss that is deaperation, and you know what they say, "Desperation: the world's worst cologne."

[outblog]

she's a grad student and i am a grad student so i am not too concerned with the student-teacher boundary thing anymore.
but i guess i screwed up it already. i am not experienced and not good at writing those kinds of letters...

[outblog]

those emails are longer than the ones i posted here and i dont want to make this post too lengthy. besides, i guess the tone of the two omitted emails is similar to those posted here. only i didnt' ask her out then.

i dont think you should send any more emails... and why did u omit the two emails that you wrote??

[misombra]

she's probably just not interested in you. sorry.