GUYS!! Do guys like persistent girls? Do you like to be persued?

[corey1985]

I don't like girls that are persistant, I like it if they reciprocate though.

[lahnnabell]

I find that many girls try far too hard. Always looking for reasons to chat with the guy, even when it's irrelevant or nonsensical. This just makes you look foolish. I'm a very social person, and if I like a guy, I'll let him know. I also expect him to reciprocate though. If he doesn't, I move on. His loss.

But if I am in a position to pursue or reciprocate affections, I'll do so on a wavelength that a guy might like. Take him out to a bar for some dinner and beers. Last year when my current boyfriend and I began to see more of each other, I told him I was taking him out to educate him on beer since I'm a beer lover. We went to my favorite bar, ate some dinner, knocked back a few pints each, and played Chutes & Ladders. And yes, I paid.

[Lulu]

There is a way to keep in touch and be flirty without hard core pursuit being involved. Men like to "win" the prize...make him think that HE won YOU! Otherwise he will just take you for granted. I know this sounds like a game, but from my experience it seems to be consistent with men. It is the MAN'S GAME........

[lahnnabell]

There is a way to keep in touch and be flirty without hard core pursuit being involved. Men like to "win" the prize...make him think that HE won YOU! Otherwise he will just take you for granted. I know this sounds like a game, but from my experience it seems to be consistent with men. It is the MAN'S GAME........

Taking someone for granted can happen regardless. It doesn't necessarily have to do with the early stages of the relationship. Think of all those girls you see on here whining about how to keep their guys happy, when in reality they spend too much time catering to and lavishing attention on their boyfriends. They think that by doting on their boyfriends is the way to keep them content, when in reality, it's the opposite. Guys like to have their independence and have much more respect for a girl who isn't willing to tolerate his BS.

However, this also starts with mom. If his mom allowed him to walk on her and treat her like a slave, he's gonna do the same to you. Mom is responsible for teaching this young men how to treat their ladies. If she f*cked up, then you'll be responsible for training. I've been there. It sucks.

[xxazurexx]

In this instance OP, no I wouldn't pursue him.

Just because a guy may say that you have a 'cool shirt', doesn't mean he's interested 'that' way.....it's called being 'friendly'.

You made him aware of your interest and via this letter you sent him. You got no reply.
That may well have been and because he was in a relationhip, however now he's single he still hasn't shown any interest.

I wouldn't puruse him any further, unless you want a reputation of 'bunny boiler'...

[MikeL]

What guy is going to say no to this? Most guys hate having to do all the work and not get any reaction back.

[erik]

It's called Toronto, Canada!

Full of hot women, in competition to get the few hot guys that can be found around the city. If a guy is looking to hook up with major hotties in like one night, (at zero effort), Toronto is the place to be.

For every hot guy in the room, there are at LEAST 8 hot girls after him trying to win him over and get his attention. It's kind of like Manhattan, only the gender roles are reversed.

Do guys like it? Umm.. yeah! Hot girls making the moves, what's wrong with that? That's like having a cookie on the table before you even think about that fact that you're hungry.

However, I get a totally different pleasure from it. I'm a defunct economist, so I love to see how women play it out between them while they're competing for my attention, or any guy's attention for that matter. It's very interesting to see the tactics some women use.. lol.. I feel like i'm at the Discovery Channel... it's like half Playboy, half National Geographic..

"Watch, as the human female attracts the male with her mating call.. (I'm so wasted, i'm so wasted! Woo!)"

Are you serious? I live close to Toronto, this has not been my experience and its the first time I've ever heard anyone give it that reputation

[SirWagginston]

There is a way to keep in touch and be flirty without hard core pursuit being involved. Men like to "win" the prize...make him think that HE won YOU! Otherwise he will just take you for granted. I know this sounds like a game, but from my experience it seems to be consistent with men. It is the MAN'S GAME........

You're a woman. Maybe some men like that, but most don't. The majority of men do the chasing, that's true, but they do it because they were taught that it's their responsibility, and most of the time they are forced to take that upon themselves, or else they won't be able to get a girl.

[xxazurexx]

I'd never chase a guy, particularly not a guy who was fully aware of my existence.
To me and if a guy is aware you exist and he doesn't show an interest, that is usually because he is not interested.
In my life experience, men have always pursued me and if there has been an interest. If I ever had to pursue, I was wasting my time on some guy who wasn't interested.

In a situation where a new guy perhaps started my place of work, or a new guy who moved to my town and I was attracted I still wouldn't approach directly, but instead try to make him aware of my interest. I make it easy for him to approach.

If I'm interested, men don't have to 'second guess' me...

[xxazurexx]

You're a woman. Maybe some men like that, but most don't. The majority of men do the chasing, that's true, but they do it because they were taught that it's their responsibility, and most of the time they are forced to take that upon themselves, or else they won't be able to get a girl.

No....they do it and because biologically they are programmed to 'hunt'....

[lahnnabell]

Well, not all men have this "hunting" gene. As we see nowadays, there are plenty of lazy boys out there who have no sense of how to provide for themselves, let alone anyone else.

I think this stems from a lack of proper structure and acceptance of responsibility which is managed by the parents. I've met too many people (boys and girls) who floundered their way through college on mom and dad's dime, never having to work, and yet never really tried that hard to manage their grades, only to transfer when they realize that they won't have enough credits to graduate in their decided field.

This laziness then spills over into everything else. If you weren't taught to be responsible at an earlier age, it's gonna take you longer to catch up. I've dated guys who were incredibly ambitious career wise, but when it came to cleaning their own dishes or doing laundry, if mom didn't do it, nothing got done.

[asdfg789]

In this instance OP, no I wouldn't pursue him.

The original post was in 2007 ...

But yes, as a guy, I too will enjoy the attention of being pursued but the lady in question has to be smart not to come across as "cheap"

[xxazurexx]

The original post was in 2007 ...

But yes, as a guy, I too will enjoy the attention of being pursued but the lady in question has to be smart not to come across as "cheap"

While it may well have been posted in 2007, I'm sure the OP wasn't the first, nor would she have been the last woman on earth to find herself in that situation and we could have someone at this moment in time reading this thread, with the same dilemma as the OP had..... My advice being, that you don't carry on pursuing someone and if a clear interest has been made. Unless you want to look desperate and have them view you as an utter pain in the arse....

[soulsurvivor23]

Honestly, I would love to at least for one day see what it's like.. To just have girls flock to me, feed me with lines, ask for my number, wine and dine me, take me back to her place.. etc etc.. That would be something else..

As a general answer to the question, not that I would like the roles to be completely reversed, but I actually like an aggressive woman.

[SirWagginston]

No....they do it and because biologically they are programmed to 'hunt'....

Honestly, you need to listen more closely to what you're saying. Hunting is something you do for animals or houses--things that are yours to claim and own. It's a game of conquest, and you are the prize--not "you" as in your mind and personality, but "you" as in your body and private parts, and maybe your ability to make sandwiches. Girls that we have to go after like this naturally appear less human and worthy of respect.

I'm a guy with lots of guy friends, and I've noticed that guys who enjoy "hunting" are more likely to objectify women and less likely to want a real relationship. This form of dating is natural to them because they have more control: being expected to make the first move turns the dating world into a kind of buffet, wherein they simply choose the dishes that look tasty and expect them to reciprocate. They don't expect you to have thoughts or feelings. They entertain the idea that you might have them only because it's practical in getting you to have sex with them.

I use to know one guy in particular who excelled at these pick-up games. He was practically the best. As a guy, I have the opportunity to hear what these men say when you're not around, and it's mind-boggling. He knew every attractive girl on campus (except for the really smart ones, who knew that he was a player), and they all believed he was the sweetest and most charming thing. But when the girls weren't around, he said things like,

"Man, she is hot, but she needs to learn to shut up. Like I actually care how her day was,"

or, "Aw, she thinks she can become a doctor, how cute." (quoted verbatim)

I really can't make this up. We once had sort-of an argument, and he told me that the reason he gets so many more girls than the rest of us is because we treat them like people, whereas in reality (according to him) they are all stupid hoes. He thinks that dating should not be a mutual act of getting together and learning about one another because men and women are not really equals. This is the type of guy that is most willing and able to approach and pick you up at a bar, club or other location. You can argue with that all you want, but it's the truth. I've seen dozens of girls before you say, "Pfft, I would never fall for a player; I can see through those things," and I've seen all those same girls go home with him. Then I've watched them realize what happened sometime later and cry their eyes out, and totally not felt sorry for them because they brought it upon themselves.

What it comes down to is this: nobody should be chasing anybody. We're both human beings capable of making rational decisions. I want to find the love of my life, and she probably does, too, so we should come together and find out if we're the ones. There should be no games, no hard to get. Ideally, half the dates are my idea and the other half are hers, and we split the bills 50/50. Anything else seems to me to be immature.