your loyalty and committment are great qualities. you should be giving that to someone who deserves it though and appreciates it. not this leech of an ex. shes an attention whore. she enjoys having you on a string like a puppet! where is your self respect? your dignity and your pride? your allowing her to humiliate you right now and your being a doormat. you have to be strong now and learn to walk away from whats bad for you.
your saying she wont allow you to move on but its you whose stopping you from moving on. grow a backbone, tell her to f off, block her from your phone. you have to go no contact in order to heal. its either that or stay stuck in limbo forever, pining for a woman who doesnt want you anymore but plays you like a fiddle
she wants you to beg and plead, to apologize ven though you did nothing wrong, she wants you to suffer. prob because shes insecue, craves attention, wants you to fight for her and prove your love. dont lower yourself or humiliate yourself for her. let her f**k off. she has issues. you should never have to beg anyway to be yours
"Don't ask a question if you can't handle the answer".