i cheated and now i need to do everything to keep her

[Kayla]

hmm.. seems to me she is taking full advantage of having the current "upper hand" in the relationship. Forgiveness is a choice even if it isnt always a feeling. When you choose to forgive someone, you are agreeing to work through the aftermath of a mistake as a couple (even if the mistake is as awful as cheating). The bottom like is this: choosing to work through something together is NOT the same thing as continuously punishing someone for a mistake. She sees you are making all the effort you can, and she is still saying its not enough? Well, if your best attempt at repairing the relationship isnt good enough, that only leaves one alternative, doesnt it?

I have a feeling this relationship is toxic and headed for break up anyway. I personally wouldnt tolerate the cheating OR the use of guilt as a form of control.

Side note- I am willing to bet that if you stood up and told her you were ending the relationship due to inability to repair damage caused by your mistake, this entire situation would turn around...

[bluesummer]

i feel i did it cause the opertunity was just there. i know it was a huge mistake

You did it just because "the opportunity was there"??????? What does that mean? You'll jump on the next opportunity that comes up? You'll say no now, but I'm not so certain you can be trusted. It really didn't take you any persuasion at all to jump in bed with your ex, and that's scary.

Your gf will never trust you again, and I know you think you can 'handle it' but in awhile it's going to turn into bitterness that she doesn't trust you. You'll start saying things like "When are you going to let this go?" and "I think it's time you start trusting me again." I know, I've been there....the cheating bf thing. You'll argue. Then you'll cheat again because the bitch is all over your ass all the time when you go out. I can see it allllll so clearly.

Just let her go.

[alovehangoverr]

Ok, honestly? She's better off. You ****ed someone else just because you could. That's disgusting.

I get that you have given up your privacy and what not to keep this girl in your life-- but no amount of skype-ing, her checking your email, you not going out, etc.. is going to fix what happened. While transparency can be helpful in situations like this, it sounds like it's not enough for her to get past it.

Some people just can't get over cheating. To be fair, no one should have to "get over it" especially for some guy who stuck his dick somewhere just because he could.

I disagree with anyone claiming she's "punishing you" or trying to have the "upper hand" in the relationship. If that was true, I'm sure she would have stuck around to "torment" you, not end the relationship. Idk if people who are saying these things have ever been cheated on, but I can tell you FROM EXPERIENCE that sometimes you can't get past it. It sounds like she realized that and did what was best for her by getting out of the situation.

Also, as someone who had a cheating bf try to redeem himself the way you are-- you know what I realized? I HATED constantly being anxious and insecure.. and I HATED having to constantly check up on everything.. his emails, his texts, etc. That's.. not healthy. It literally made me CRAZY. Getting out was the BEST thing for both involved. He got his privacy back and got to do what he wanted, and I got to stop worrying about someone who disrespected me and cared so little about me to cheat in the first place.