Women in charge...

[ecojeanne]

I don't mind being the bitch for awhile as long as she's fit, pretty, great personality and older than me :p. Do as you will I say!

ok you're in!

[Kiechi]

ok you're in!

Wahey, when do the games start then?!

[LadieNisha4u2nv]

I like taking turns being in charge....in the bedroom

[starbuck]

I think the idea is to try and find someone that is compatible enough that you can both be in charge and take care of day-to-day things equally. Take housework for example.

If you date someone you know is messy then you're going to have to nag him, whether you like it or not. The key then, is finding someone who is already neat so you don't have to nag. What if you still love the messy person? Then hire a housekeeper. There are always alternative ways of getting the s**t you want done without having to boss someone into doing it (if you can afford it).

Bossing someone just makes him want to resist and rebel.

[lesa]

I am not sure what you mean but emotionally my ex and I had a very unequal relationship in that regards. He would always comes to me to express his anger, happiness, sadness, frustrations, fears, hurts, EVERY emotion to me and I must support him. I could only express happiness and really didn't get to celebrate that! He never supported my emotions and complained or ignored me if I tried. Does that mean I was the boss or he? He did say it was difficult to see me any way but ecstatic lol.

[ecojeanne]

I am not sure what you mean but emotionally my ex and I had a very unequal relationship in that regards. He would always comes to me to express his anger, happiness, sadness, frustrations, fears, hurts, EVERY emotion to me and I must support him. I could only express happiness and really didn't get to celebrate that! He never supported my emotions and complained or ignored me if I tried. Does that mean I was the boss or he? He did say it was difficult to see me any way but ecstatic lol.

oh lesa he doesn't sound too nice, ye my guy always got his own way by guilting me too

[lesa]

oh lesa he doesn't sound too nice, ye my guy always got his own way by guilting me too

He really wasn't mean about it. He was very nice & caring otherwise. It was one of his issue. Hopefully he knows that now and is working on it. He said it hurts him to see me in any way but very happy. He saw me as his superwoman and emotional supporter (he never said that...but it felt like that sometimes). I needed him as my emotional supporter too but he could not provide that. If that was balanced I am sure we would have been together today.

[anachronistic]

Why do people let to get the same message across with different words?

[lesa]

Why do people let to get the same message across with different words?

Well in my profession you must make yourself clear at all times or there can be serious consequences. I'm used to it. I rinse and repeat every day. Do I need to put that another way so that my message gets across? I don't mind.

[anachronistic]

Well in my profession you must make yourself clear at all times or there can be serious consequences. I'm used to it. I rinse and repeat every day. Do I need to put that another way so that my message gets across? I don't mind.

How does one literally make oneself clear?

just teasing

[lesa]

How does one literally make oneself clear?

just teasing

See how it happens? My poor word choices make me want to repeat my message. I'll control myself this time.

[Asparagoose]

Guys, if your girls are taking advantage of you, it is YOUR fault. Take some responsibility. You are only a victim if you allow it, and women aren't the enemy.

That's one way to look at it, a biased way, but a new perspective regardless. Actually, it's THEIR fault. For being so disrespectful and manipulative in nature. A woman's character flaws are not the fault of a guy, but of her own.

[ecojeanne]

That's one way to look at it, a biased way, but a new perspective regardless. Actually, it's THEIR fault. For being so disrespectful and manipulative in nature. A woman's character flaws are not the fault of a guy, but of her own.

true and visa versa

[shh!]

That's one way to look at it, a biased way, but a new perspective regardless. Actually, it's THEIR fault. For being so disrespectful and manipulative in nature. A woman's character flaws are not the fault of a guy, but of her own.

That's another way to look at it, but I consider a person's willingness to be walked on to be their own charcater flaw (regardless of gender BTW). People who don't respect themselves don't gain the respect of others.

[Asparagoose]

That's another way to look at it, but I consider a person's willingness to be walked on to be their own charcater flaw (regardless of gender BTW). People who don't respect themselves don't gain the respect of others.

What are you going on about? Vague, ambiguous, yawn.

When someone (of either gender) gets the urge to take advantage of their SO, to manipulate them, to try and gain control for their own personal self-centered motives, you have to wonder. Are they taking a moment to ask themselves "wait, is this right? do I feel no guilt for what I'm doing?"

If they don't feel any guilt for what they're doing, it's a serious character flaw. The essence of ethics and morals is to feel a sense of guilt and recognize when what you have the desire to do is clearly wrong.

The SO isn't concerned with mind games. Like the hopeless romantic that they are, they love the other person (hence taking advantage of). So they are just trying to keep the peace and make them happy, while the other person is taking advantage of that. I would hardly call caring and love a character flaw.

It's very interesting how you could even attempt to use language shifts and try to frame the situation any differently. Unless you can relate to this kind of relationship yourself and feel a little guilty about doing some of this, that would definitely explain why you feel this way and are getting all defensive.