do girls get friendzoned?

[smackie9]

You think? duh. He never "friend zoned" you.....he has been holding back all this time, now he just can't help himself. Guys don't stick around for "Just friends".

[Maple1714]

Eh he loves all women...but I have TONS of guy friends. I grew up with lots of them. They have GF's and nothing have ever happened between any of us...but i guess they stick around b/c maybe one day they will have a shot? I have an old friend who is moving to the US from Korea and he chose the city I live in b/c he wants to be closer to me. I have another who visits once a year from Hawaii with his GF and always makes a point to see me and keep in contact. Men are so weird. When they have the chance to make a move they don't and then they stick around waiting for another chance?

Yeah, guys don't friend zone...unless they don't find you attractive at all and then they usually just ignore you.

[smackie9]

I had a lot of guy friends, and ya it's a no brainer why they are your friend.

Some don't make a move because they feel it's not the right time....they do use you in their masturbation theater.

[searock]

I disagree with the theory that guys can't be real friends with girls they aren't attracted to. Guys *do* make friends with girls even if they aren't attracted to them. I've had several guy friends (real friends, guys I could talk about intimate stuff with as with a close female friend) and the ones I haven't lost (the "real friends") were never attracted to me.

Also: if a guy is attracted to you, he can still be just your friend. Physical attraction is one thing, full-rounded compatibility is another. Two persons can be attracted to each other, yet know that they would be terrible as a couple. So maybe what your friend is saying is that he isn't sure you two would work as a couple, and it's not worth it to risk losing your friendship just to follow your physical instincts.

On a side note, I don't think there is such a thing as being "friend zoned", for guys or for girls. Twice in my life I've fallen in love with my best friend (2 different guys in different stages of my life), whom I wasn't attracted to at first. It was friendship that naturally "evolved" into romantic attachment. I am currently in a long term relationship with the most recent one. I clearly remember the first 6 months or so of our friendship: I wasn't attracted to him at all! Then one day, just like that, all of a sudden I was attracted to him. Up till that moment, he had been most definitely "just a friend". I don't know how it happened, it wasn't anything he did, it just... happened!

It happened to me twice, so I'm experienced enough to know that there is no such thing as a "friend zone". I have guy friends I'm not attracted to, in my mind I see them as "just friends", but I'm not naive enough to exclude entirely the possibility of some day becoming attracted to them.

Anyway: what your friend says about not wanting to ruin your amazing friendship is likely exactly what he means. Your relationship is special right now, becoming romantically involved with each other could either bring you even closer, or completely destroy what you have now. It's a tough decision to make, but I think you should go for it if you have strong feelings for him (it won't be difficult to convince him if this is what you decide).

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Searock, what they were saying is that guys can only be real friends with girls they are not attracted to. That is actually, perfectly in line with the example that you used, of your "real friends" never being attracted to you. The ones that were attracted to you, either ended up actually getting with you, or leaving you.

Just because you say you don't have a friendzone, doesn't mean other girls don't, though I still think people friendzone themselves by continuing the friendship.

[searock]

Searock, what they were saying is that guys can only be real friends with girls they are not attracted to.

If this is what they meant, then I agree. I disagree with statements like this:

Guys don't stick around for "Just friends".

As for this:

Just because you say you don't have a friendzone, doesn't mean other girls don't

I'm not sure. Attraction isn't something one can always completely control. It is true that some people (male and female) categorize people of the opposite sex with 2 different "labels": possible romantic/sexual companion, not possible romantic/sexual companion. Some people decide to avoid contact with the people they've given the second label to, because "there's no point". The sad thing is that by doing so, they often miss out on great opportunities to form wonderful friendships, that may even blossom into relationships. On the other hand, for those who do hang out as a friend with someone they aren't attracted to, there is *always* the possibility that some day they'll become attracted to them. It's just natural, sometimes it happens, no matter all the rational labeling.

[Maple1714]

On the other hand, for those who do hang out as a friend with someone they aren't attracted to, there is *always* the possibility that some day they'll become attracted to them.

I agree with this...my friend who tells me he "loves" me all the time has become more and more attractive to me over the past 2 years. At first I was like heck no...but our friendship has grown and I see him in a different way now. He is a beautiful person and if I was single I would entertain the idea of dating him...

[smackie9]

You are not getting it, guys will friend zone a girl that is not attractive to them, but they will have an interest more than friends if they are...you wouldn't know if they don't tell you that they are interested. Some do some hide it due to insecurity, but guarantee if you are attractive and you offer you bet they will jump on that.

[surfhb]

You are not getting it, guys will friend zone a girl that is not attractive to them, but they will have an interest more than friends if they are...you wouldn't know if they don't tell you that they are interested. Some do some hide it due to insecurity, but guarantee if you are attractive and you offer you bet they will jump on that.

Yep! Absolutely correct.

[smackie9]

Also to add even if they are not interested in a relationship they will throw a hump into you if given the chance.

[Justincredible]

Yeah, girls get friendzoned, but it's kind of different with guys. If there was an easy formulaic way to get out of the friendzone, the world would be a better place. A way a girl has gotten out of the friendzone with me was this: I wouldn't see her, talk to her, or be in any real contact with her for months at a time. Over that time i realized i missed her, and then the next time i saw her, i also realized she had gotten more attractive during the time we were apart. Then we started hanging out again, i realized how awesome she was and we ended up dating. So yeah. I've heard this has worked before: Just be away from somebody for a long time then come back into their life with a bang. Nothing is guaranteed.

[searock]

You are not getting it, guys will friend zone a girl that is not attractive to them

That's not "friendzoning", that's just not being attracted to someone and becoming good friends with them (regardless of the attractiveness or lack thereof). One day they might become attracted to them even if they weren't in the beginning, it just happens sometimes.

but they will have an interest more than friends if they are...

Sure, in that case they will want to sleep with the girl, but not necessarily to start a romantic relationship with her. So in the case of the OP, maybe her friend wants to *sleep* with her, but not to the point of jeopardizing their amazing close friendship. Or he might be in love with her (as well and in lust, which he is either way) and might be scared of ruining their close friendship by becoming romantically involved. If it's the second reason, I think that if the OP has strong feelings for him too, she should convince him to give it a try.

you wouldn't know if they don't tell you that they are interested.

Not really... I've always been pretty good at reading these type of signals. I know which guy friends of mine are attracted to me and which aren't.

Some do some hide it due to insecurity, but guarantee if you are attractive and you offer you bet they will jump on that.

Yeah, I agree, I have friends like that..! We are not very close though, because I don't want them to think I'm stringing them along, and it would be awkward anyway.

[surfhb]

If youre halfway attractive your guy 'Friends" have thought of sleeping with you....period. You got to be pretty darn fugly looking to have straight male friends who have ABSOLUTELY NO attraction to you sexually. Explaining the male sex drive to a women is like talking to a wall...it doesn't really sink in.

[searock]

Sure they may have thought about sleeping with me once in a while, as some weird fantasy, but it doesn't mean they're attracted to me or that those fantasies are the reason they're my friends. They may have pictured it in their minds at some point or another, but it doesn't mean they liked it: I'm not their type, simply put. There is no such thing as objective attractiveness... some guys like me, some don't.

Have you never met a woman who was not "darn fugly looking", and whom you weren't attracted to?

[Maple1714]

Now we are getting into the topic of what is attractive...someone who is fugly to one guy might be attractive to another. It's all relative and very chemical. I have thought a few guys were so hot and some friends of mine think they are not....last guy I dated I thought was the hottest and my best friend thought he was short, had ugly hands and a rotten tooth lol. He did have a slightly rotting tooth...WTF was wrong with me?

I definitely agree though...that ALL male friends have thought about having sex with their female friends. Whether a long term romance would blossom who knows? Think of it this way...pretty much all friends are attracted to one another for some reason. We choose our male and female friends b/c we are attracted to them for various reasons. Men just think about sex all the time. Who likes to have "ugly" friends of either sex? No one.

Girls "friendzone" guys who they don't want to **** but they like the attention they give them. In general, Guys do this less b/c they just don't need the same emotional validation that women do.