To let yourself be Used for the sake of Love...

[Gigabitch]

Dude. Damn.

Call that florist and change the order- get those flowers sent to yourself. I am not kidding.

[Junket]

Rep lost it's appeal once the number disappeared...

[Indus18]

Is it a fallacy in my thinking to believe that not talking to her would offer clarity to both parties?

I felt that on the one hand, she could realize, with me no longer in her life, how much I mean to her, and finally make a grand gesture and develop some perspective and maturity on the whole thing, and at least try to repair our friendship because the way she handled the break up was so hurtful and selfish.

On the other hand I felt that if she got tired of me not picking up and just stopped calling, it would not only illustrate to me how weak her side of the commitment was but also that the lack of communication would make the break up of my only experience with love easier to tolerate. I was trying to catalyze a result in one way or the other.

[Gigabitch]

You need to start thinking about yourself, for once. Leave her behind. Don't focus on how your actions will affect her or her messed up thought process.

Haven't you poured enough into the black hole that is this girl? Can't you see that you're still wasting your time?

[Junket]

and develop some perspective and maturity on the whole thing

What's that?

You should develop some perspective and maturity on the whole thing?

I think you're on to something here!

[Indus18]

Time has past, and I've been picking up when she calls. At first she sounded different. She sounded airheaded, and ditzy and didn't offer any semblance of intellectuality when she spoke. I couldn't even carry on a 5 minute conversation w/ the girl i used to talk to for hours every day. I called her out on it, told her she had changed tremendously and I didn't see it even worth it for us to continue talking because our paths were obviously diverging quite rapidly. She told me as smart as I thought I was, people don't change that quickly (But "true love" can die out in 2 weeks? I dind't ask, but I wondered.) and that there must be a reason why she's talking to me differently and not sounding like herself and I should figure it out. I'm stumped on that one though i have several theories.

The other day, (Mardi Gras) I was extremely drunk (11 shots in a 130 lb body...you do the math), and I text messaged her. She called me, and after I was dropped home I talked to her for at least 45 minutes. I had been playign w/ the video mode of my camera during this time, and the next day I didn't remmeber ANY of the conversation whatsoever. However, when I looked at the videos I recorded by some drunken fluke a few days later, i can gather from my words that she told me she wants to visit me during spring break, that she misses my smell, my touch, and that she wants to be friends w/ benefits. I still love her, and even in my drunken stupor I conveyed that this might be a bad idea. Before I checked the videos, but after that call, for a few days, she's been unusually nice to me and curious about my life. I thought maybe she wanted me back, however I started inquiring again with her roommate because her shifting behavior piqued my interest. Apparently she does still have someone she's interested in...someone with whom she goes to parties, kisses, dances (and i don't know about more than that), so now I'm really bewildered as to what is goign on in her head. One of the reasons I fell in love with her in the first place is because for a teenage boy... I had pretty conservative values, and she mirrored those. Now she seems like kind of...well...morally loose...what should I do? I feel like all my logic and critical thinking go out the window when it comes to this girl...the first girl I've ever really loved...

[Gigabitch]

Two words: Downward spiral.

That is all.

[lamarthe]

No other way but to move on. She is part of your history and it will always be so but too much damage has been done. And no contacts because from your posts it's obvious that every time you talk to her your brain just shuts down, you are stuck in a vicious circle. You will never be able to get over the pain unless you cut off communication.

You can either continue torturing yourself until she really leaves you for good or you can be the one that takes control of the situation and walk away at last. It all depends on how much longer you are prepared to suffer or not. You think you love her now but what you love is the woman she once was and she will never be that woman again. That woman doesn't exist anymore.

[Gribble]

Buddy, "true love" can die in a heartbeat. Time to move on with your life.