Friends (with benefits?)

[smackie9]

Hi.



My question is, is there a chance of him loving me someday?.

No absolutely not. You were just a fresh young lovely 21 year old he was screwing without commitment. What a 31 year old man's dream situation! He wasn't with you for the emotional satisfaction, just sexual. Stop wasting your time on this charmer....he is a manipulator feeding off the vulnerable and naive.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

I still think he's just scared in love, and will eventually come around.

[Wakeup]

Not as long as she keeps enabling him not to make a choice, he won't.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You're just being a skeptic Wakeup. Have a little faith in the power of love to make him decide.

[smackie9]

You're just being a skeptic Wakeup. Have a little faith in the power of love to make him decide.

LOL so this is a new tactic for trolling? I thought about doing this myself. It seems it is what they come looking for.

[Wakeup]

You're just being a skeptic Wakeup. Have a little faith in the power of love to make him decide.

... brat ...

[michelle23]

Haha maybe a little reverse psychology will help. If we tell them what they want to hear and give bad advice they may do the opposite

[Maple1714]

Donuts - kick this douche to the curb pronto. Seriously. He will never love you and all you're doing is hoping and wishful thinking. I've been there...when I was 20. I learned a lot from that situation. He might have some emotional connection with you that keeps bringing him back, but it probably isn't love in his mind.

Picture this - what is your idea of a perfect boyfriend? A perfect partner? Put this other guy out of your mind and picture your ideal guy. What qualities does he have? What does he do for you...etc? If the current guy doesn't meet these standards than leave him now. I can guess that your ideal BF does not disappear for a couple days/weeks and have sex with other girls right? I know that doesn't make you feel very special...even though you try to rationalize that he must at least like you the BEST b/c he keeps coming back to you in the end. You're right to an extent...but is that arrangement good enough for you? I hope it isn't. You really should move on.

It's OK to go through something like this...once! Learn from it and grow up. Don't put yourself in situations like this in the future. I think it's important to create an emotional bond with a guy/man before having sex with them. Men need that. They want it...so get to know a guy first...for a while..months even.

[smackie9]

Here's one for ya Maple

[Maple1714]

Hahaha....

Funny, the guy who I went through a FWB thing with was Ashton Kutchner's roommate when they were younger. They were both trying to become models. My guy didn't make the cut.

Oh, and I feel like the OP's title to this post should be Sex with a Boy (friends?)

[dickriculous]

No absolutely not. You were just a fresh young lovely 21 year old he was screwing without commitment. What a 31 year old man's dream situation! He wasn't with you for the emotional satisfaction, just sexual. Stop wasting your time on this charmer....he is a manipulator feeding off the vulnerable and naive.

I'm not seeing where the "manipulating" is taking place tbh. From what I read of OP her fukk buddy told her about as straight up as one can be told that there is no chance of him committing to her, and he doesn't feel "that way" about her. Can't be much more straight forward about your intentions than that. His cards are right there on the table, face up for her to read. If anything he's being much more straight forward than he's really obligated to be.

Though I do agree with the general consensus that if she's looking for a committed relationship she needs to look elsewhere, hard to deny that when the guy she's with has essentially straight up told her that himself.

[smackie9]

" He says that he does not have the urge to not see other people" this is proof enough that he was manipulating her into thinking she was exclusive.

[dickriculous]

" He says that he does not have the urge to not see other people" this is proof enough that he was manipulating her into thinking she was exclusive.

I don't see where she posted that either. Closest thing to that I see is where she mentioned he broke it off with someone else because she threatened to leave if he didn't. And while yes, that might vaguely hint that he wants to be exclusive to her if you grasp for straws a bit, it doesn't override him telling her "I don't want to be exclusive with you" like he does here

My question is, is there a chance of him loving me someday? As in, what is the chance of a man changing his mind (because he says it is very slim)?

[smackie9]

Read 4 lines down....it's after (technically speaking)

[BackUpOrGetStng]

How is that manipulation? That's him saying that he has the urge to see other people. Not, not is a double negative..meaning he does have the urge to see other people. Meaning he was being straight with her.