New guy led about his age and...dealbreaker?

[Jassicak7]

Actually age is just a number. If you both love each other then you should go ahead.
What I think sex is a part of love. It makes our bond strong with partner.

[TheEvilJester]

If a age is just a number then why even lie about it in the first place? I could be wrong, but I don't necessarily think the age difference was the issue. At least not the main issue. The issue was lying about it. Not only that, but he lied about it at first and then even lied about it while pretending to come clean about the truth.

If you didn't catch this in the story here, he lied about his age on his profile. He later confessed to her he was actually 2 years older than it said on his profile. She then later discovered the truth was he is actually 8 YEARS older than he said on his profile,

Age CAN be just a number. If two people are a good match, then their age difference may not matter. At the same time, age difference CAN matter and can affect whether or not two people agree they make a good match for a number of reasons. When you lie about your age, and especially by so much, you take away a person's choice to make that decision initially. But, also, how can they subsequently trust anything you do or say after something like that?

[lovemuffin]

I don't think his age would have made a difference to me but honestly I might have... regardless I don't think lying about it is a good policy ... reminds me of the guy who tried to legally change his age recently bcuz he said he feels and looks much younger.... in a way I get that because some people age differently.. his argument was if I can change my name legally and my sex even why not my age...hmmm...

[TheEvilJester]

I suppose that makes SOME sense (in that you certainly CAN be of a certain age, yet not be in any way like a typical person of that age).... except age is literally a biological function/a chronological accounting of how many years have passed since you were born. Sure, no two people age exactly the same.... but that doesn't change the fact that time still moves the same. If you were born 50 years ago, but your body and your maturity/sensibilities are still more that of a 20-year old, it still doesn't change the fact that 50 years have passed since the year you were born.

Name is simply a title. Big difference there. You can change that just in the same as you could get a nickname. That's not actually your name, but people are often known more by their nickname than by their given name. As for gender, they can actually biologically/chemically change that. If you choose to change your gender, you can actually physically, biologically, and in every way change that. Even if you don't or can't go through all the motions, so you wind up being biologically one gender but you identify as another, that is still different from age.

At least in my opinion. Again, hence why I disagree with lying about it. For the record, lovemuffin, I realize this was not you saying this, but the guy you are talking about who wanted to legally change his age. I just found the topic interesting. Anyway, again, I think you just own up to your age rather than trying to hide it. If somebody isn't going to be bothered by the age difference, then they aren't going to be bothered by the age difference. If they would be bothered, then they deserve the chance to make that decision for themselves.

You shouldn't feel the need to trick somebody into liking you. That's essentially what that is whether people like that realize it or not. Essentially you are hoping to trick somebody into liking you so much that they won't mind the age difference anymore (even if they would have) because you two are too good a match. That's not a good way to start any relationship.

[Kares]

He just isn't into a long-term relationship at all.

[TheEvilJester]

Maybe, maybe not. I could see that, though. If he has no sincere interest in a serious, long-term relationship then he may see no reason not to lie. He may think lying about his age gives him a better chance with younger women, and since he doesn't intend to stick around long anyway, it really doesn't matter if they find out.

Anyway, again to me I don't really care WHY he feels the need to lie about his age. To me, it was a pretty big red flag..... until he A) lied about it AGAIN and B) it turned out his real age was SO MUCH different from the age he was claiming. Based on those two later developments, it went from being a red flag to a full blown deal-breaker... in my book, at least.