What makes women....

[Primo]

A little attention once in awhile is a good thing BB, don't feel guilty :-)

Why don't YOU talk to the next guy you see that catches your eye? Maybe that'll loosen you up a bit, shake off some rust and you'll be more open to some flirting and seem more approachable from there on out.

[Aeradalia]

Sometimes if you look a little helpless it can encourage men to approach you. Such as you're looking to see what time it is, or just have that patented 'I think I'm lost' look (but not the 'I'm always lost' look).

A man will see this as an opportunity to talk to you -- to ask a question. He may ask if you're looking for something, and from there a conversation can emerge. Plus it casts the guy in a good light because he'll appear helpful ("white knight").

If all else fails... do as Primo suggested, just approach the guys. It's the new millennium for crying out loud. Anyone who's interested can approach -- male or female.

[CocoChanel]

I am so glad you posted this because if I were to post this... the fan club would have come out and started calling me names and shit.

I guess you can say the same thing about me. I have the same exact problem. The guys would say stuff to my friends but would never approach me. I don't get it either?

I raise my goddaughter, so many assume I have a child as well but that doesn't stop them from asking about me so it's not as much of a deal breaker as it used to be for men.

[chump4u]

For BB, and CoCo, and all the girls who have posted "Why don't nice guys like me, what's wrong with them?" threads in the last week or two: I can tell you exactly why "nice guys" don't approach you, but I can't do it in twenty words or less. There's not much point in trying to answer your question, then, so I'm only going to hit a couple of points.

First, the assumption that there's something wrong with men because they don't pay attention to you is a self-defeating attitude.

Second, many guys avoid a "cold" approach to an attractive woman, because they know from experience that most attractive women are completely wrapped in self-approval, and will immediately reject anyone who fails to meet their irrational expectations. This is of course not true of every attractive woman, but most men's experience shows that it is true of most.

This is, of course, unfair to the lovely ladies who post on this forum, and who are models of sweetness, understanding, and approachability. But, life is unfair.

None of that tells you anything about your individual situations, does it? Sorry...best I can do right now.

[jenniferx]

For BB, and CoCo, and all the girls who have posted "Why don't nice guys like me, what's wrong with them?" threads in the last week or two: I can tell you exactly why "nice guys" don't approach you, but I can't do it in twenty words or less. There's not much point in trying to answer your question, then, so I'm only going to hit a couple of points.

First, the assumption that there's something wrong with men because they don't pay attention to you is a self-defeating attitude.

Second, many guys avoid a "cold" approach to an attractive woman, because they know from experience that most attractive women are completely wrapped in self-approval, and will immediately reject anyone who fails to meet their irrational expectations. This is of course not true of every attractive woman, but most men's experience shows that it is true of most.

This is, of course, unfair to the lovely ladies who post on this forum, and who are models of sweetness, understanding, and approachability. But, life is unfair.

None of that tells you anything about your individual situations, does it? Sorry...best I can do right now.

Okay, so I'm one of those girls who posted that and i think youve misread, at least my, situation, as i can't speak for the other girls. I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with men if they dont pay attn to me. But when it happens repeatedly i start to think there's something wrong with ME. be honest, you and pretty much most people in the world would think the same if the opposite sex never noticed you. this IS self-defeating. I can be self-defeating, it's one of my flaws and im trying to overcome it.

I'm not cold. Strangers are always talking to me, jumping in on my conversations. And i dont shut them down unless they were rude, which has actually never even happened at least that i can currently think of. oh, and i'm not high maintenance at all. all i want is respect. gifts, and gloating are not important at all. i think that's fair enough.

[Illusional]

i tend to be afraid of sexy eye brows, it's much more than i can handle. just one glance and i'm weak in the knees.

raverboy

[CocoChanel]

I am the same way Jennifer. I am complete socialite. I talk to people all the time. Children, Adults, Teenagers, the Elderly. I am not unapproachable. The problem with most people is they make assumptions and judge us without even giving us a fair chance. You've already made up in your mind what type of person I am... which is UNFAIR. You people in this forum never cease to amaze me. Please show me where someone said there was something wrong with a man because they speak to them. That's your assumption... not ours.

If you are making your point based off of shit you read in this forum I would like for you to respond with this is mind... pay more attention to when I'm not defending myself and I am interacting with people who aren't talking shit to me for no damn reason.

[Illusional]

who talks shit around the forums? i unlike many people just give people a hard time and i love doing it for some reason. just like how you used to burn ants with the magnifying glass when you were younger.

freaking punks!!

raverboy

[IndiReloaded]

all i want is respect.

Its a mistake to think you get this from other people. You take it for yourself.

But, to do this and be genuine, you have to be able to back it up w/what you know about yourself. Otherwise, you get the false entitlement syndrome common to GenMe.

[jenniferx]

Its a mistake to think you get this from other people. You take it for yourself.

But, to do this and be genuine, you have to be able to back it up w/what you know about yourself. Otherwise, you get the false entitlement syndrome common to GenMe.

yes but thinking like that can lead down a steep road.. almost nietzschean logic.. and that gave root to people like Hitler (even though N was taken slightly out of context). you must be careful when you devalue any human being cause it can lead to scary stuff, so to a certain extent, yes everyone should treated with respect as a human being. sorry this is horribly off topic haha but do you get what i'm saying? yes? no? does it even relate to what you said? maybe I should head over to the philosophy forum hm..

and i like the arguing or banter or whatever this is lets keep it going...

[jenniferx]

yeah so i just reread what you wrote and what i said had nothing to do with it whoops. youre right respect is from yourself.

[Illusional]

it doesn't really matter whether you're on topic or not. this is a forum and topics never stay the same.

raverboy

[Bumble_bee]

Flea, I think you might be right there, but its cool I wouldn't want anyone who wasn't keen on kids approaching me anyway......and I can see why most would think think I'm already taken because of it.

Primo...you are so right, but as I said, I don't even know If im looking right now....but wholly crap I miss the red blooded male attention, you know....

Chump if you read my first post< I agree with you, its not all on the guys, and thats why I'm asking myself, is it me? is it the way I carry myself?

Aeradalia...I tried that the other day in the computer labs...pretended I couldn't read French, got a guy to help me and we had coffee...

Illusional...

guys I am totally not trying to push this onto the men here, I get that I have to do a bit of attention seeking....but it was a real eye openener for me, as I said I was so concentrated on my boy and along with my studies it hasn't been an issue for me at all. unitl Now that is..lol

In fact I'm starting to realise that the very fact that I was so absorbed in my own stuff probably made me unapproachable, maybe I seemed like I was not open to anything?

who knows, but yeah, I have to go out there and flutter my eyelids or something ..dammit

[chump4u]

Okay, so I'm one of those girls who posted that and i think youve misread, at least my, situation, as i can't speak for the other girls. I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong with men if they dont pay attn to me. But when it happens repeatedly i start to think there's something wrong with ME. be honest, you and pretty much most people in the world would think the same if the opposite sex never noticed you. this IS self-defeating. I can be self-defeating, it's one of my flaws and im trying to overcome it.

I'm not cold. Strangers are always talking to me, jumping in on my conversations. And i dont shut them down unless they were rude, which has actually never even happened at least that i can currently think of. oh, and i'm not high maintenance at all. all i want is respect. gifts, and gloating are not important at all. i think that's fair enough.

.
Jenni, I did not say you were "cold." I said that many guys do not like to approach an attractive woman "cold"-- that is, as a stranger trying to introduce himself-- because they know that the overwhelming odds favor a humiliating rejection. (Well-known fact, that.) I was only trying to give one of many reasons men simply don't bother.

You say that "the opposite sex never notic(es) you" as though this is your situation, then in the next paragraph say that "strangers are always talking to me...and i dont shut them down." Any contradiction here? If strangers are always talking to you, how is it that they aren't noticing you? If the problem is that fellows do talk to you, then run away, perhaps you ought to think about your conversational skills?

I am the same way Jennifer. I am complete socialite. I talk to people all the time. Children, Adults, Teenagers, the Elderly. I am not unapproachable. The problem with most people is they make assumptions and judge us without even giving us a fair chance. You've already made up in your mind what type of person I am... which is UNFAIR. You people in this forum never cease to amaze me. Please show me where someone said there was something wrong with a man because they speak to them. That's your assumption... not ours.

If you are making your point based off of shit you read in this forum I would like for you to respond with this is mind... pay more attention to when I'm not defending myself and I am interacting with people who aren't talking shit to me for no damn reason.

.
Coco, you wrote " show me where someone said there was something wrong with a man because they speak to them." Never said any such thing, did I? I did say that women tend to blame men for not approaching them, as you can easily see on this nasty little forum, where fellows who are the least bit hesitant to hit on a girl are labeled "wimp, insecure, lacking self-confidence, needing to grow a pair and man up," etc., etc. I only say that a fellow who knows the odds has good reason not to bother, and that reason has nothing to do withhis deficiencies.

And to both CoCo and Jenni: Perhaps you need to re-read what I actually wrote and see if you can understand that it wasn't intended as an insult to either of you, or to anyone like you. If I insulted anyone, it was the huge number of vile bitches who believe that the world revolves around their hotness, and who discourage poor, wimpy, insecure, confidence-free normal guys from trying to make female friends. My post was actually designed to tell you that it's not necessarily your fault that fellows are reluctant to approach you; but given your reactions to my little rant, I'm no longer sure about that.

[flea]

Flea, I think you might be right there, but its cool I wouldn't want anyone who wasn't keen on kids approaching me anyway......and I can see why most would think think I'm already taken because of it...

I hear ya' B_b. my kids are everything to me, and someone who couldn't/wouldn't value that wouldn't be worth my time either.

it sucks that you're going without male attention, but respect to you for not being a skanky single-mum (mom, lol) who cares more about her pussy than her kids. I've seen that type in action, and it's really not attractive.


good luck to you. it sounds to me like you deserve some happiness.