Uncomfortable with his gal pal

[Wakeup]

Lol VincenzoG91, yeah that's not happening. Thanks everyone, for letting me sound off. It's nice to have an impartial source to hear from. I really do appreciate it. It feels good just to be able to bounce this off of someone.

So, what are you going to do now? Continue in the status quo or actually tell him what you want and see if he values you enough to give it to you?

[alex1023]

I'm going to talk with him, of course. That was always the plan. But, I had this feeling that I was maybe being irrational or the "crazy girlfriend" that I never want to be. But the general consensus seems to be that me being irrational isn't the case. I should just trust my gut instincts, but, helpful advice is always welcome

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You are still going to be the irrational, crazy girlfriend.

[Wakeup]

Yes, in his eye you likely will be if his choice is to give you up and keep up the bs with his "friend." He will accuse you of being "irrational and a crazy girlfriend" to justify his actions. Don't believe him.

BTW: What will you say when you "talk to him." You've already done some "talking with him" so I'm curious to see just how confident you are and how much self-worth you actually have.

[searock]

You are still going to be the irrational, crazy girlfriend.

That's what he'll say, but it will not be the truth in this case.

[basilandthyme]

I'm going to talk with him, of course. That was always the plan.

Before you talk with him....I just want to ask one thing: You've talked to him before about this - why will this time be different?

[alex1023]

Before you talk with him....I just want to ask one thing: You've talked to him before about this - why will this time be different?

Well, I'm hoping this time I will approach things with a level head. I will admit that I kind of blew up the last time. As dar as his reaction? Who knows.

[Wakeup]

I'm not meaning to respond for B&T but I did ask the same question earlier and am responding for that reason.

I don't mean to be rude to you, just telling you like it is but you're still sounding as if you're going to be just as wishy/washy as you've always been, only this time you won't yell.

I suggest you have it planned out what you're going to ask for and then be prepared to leave if he's not willing to give it to you because if you don't do that, then you will end up staying in the status quo until he cheats physically. The emotioanl cheating is already happening and is a given.

Something to think about before you talk to him with a level head.

B&T may see it differently.

[alex1023]

I appreciate the concern and yes, I am prepared to find an alternative living situation unless things change. Whatever it takes to make a point.

[Wakeup]

Good luck, I hope he's a smart man and gets it. Let us know how it goes.

[alex1023]

I talked to him and told him how uncomfortable his behavior makes me feel, especially the late night drunken calls. Told him if he ever went out with her again, by himself or otherwise, I would leave him. Flat out. Don't care who is/isn't there. So much for trying to be the cool, rational girlfriend. HeI don't care. He said that he won't hang out with her again. For now, we're in separate beds, by my request. We'll see what happens. Thanks again.

[Wakeup]

Well, good for you for "asking" for what you want lolzzz, but I don't understand the separate beds. That's hardly conducive to being happy and bonding with one another is it? What do you hope to accomplish by doing that?

[searock]

I think she is putting him on a test trial... if he does what he said he'd do, i.e. break all contact with this other girl, then things will get back to normal.

[Wakeup]

Well, whatever she's doing, I'm thinking that sleeping in separate beds isn't the right way to get things back to normal.
To each their own.

[searock]

Things will get back to normal only IF he will cut off contact with the other girl. As soon as she has solid proof that he is keeping his word, then she will sleep with him again and things can get back to normal. At least, that's what I think she's planning to do.