how much time is "normal" for a guy text back?

[JadenMia]

I think its safe in these circumstances for you to voice your concerns without being classed as clingy! It is incredibly frustrating when you are stuck in a situation, where you are not happy about the amount of communication happening but dont feel the right to say anything about it. But i have learned, yeah, its perfectly fine to say something. 90% of the time its not in your head, its not your imagination that you feel this way. And it is a real red flag!

At the beginning of a relationship, both parties usually want to be talking, texting, messaging and spending time together. I know i do! Its exciting and a very happy stage and supposed to be for the most part problem free.
I think and in my experience if its not like this? Its not working at all and not really meant to be.

My last relationship started off like this. We only saw each other on the weekend sometimes not at all, he wouldnt text me back, wouldnt call me on a night. I was head over heels for him and just couldnt take a hint as my feelings obviously clouded my judgement and common sense. We still carried on the relationship when i should have already ended it. I remember one time i asked him why he didnt text me back often and why he didnt want to spend as much time with me and he said he was busy with work.. was tired.. and that i had too much time on my hands. lol nice excuses eh?
Well something serious happened between us, something devastating id rather not bring up. But he was there for me for the most part that he needed to be. And he ended up falling for me during that time. Things were perfect for about 8 months and how they should have been at the beginning. But then fast forward 2 years and he was the same old ignorant, selfish prick he was. and i had to leave. When i think about it, i could have saved my self alot of trouble just leaving early on when i should have.
I think when people are like this at the beginning, it says alot about the person especially if they are not honest about their feelings.

I am in a new relationship, well we are seeing each other, have been for a few weeks. He called me everyday since i met him, text me through the day when hes too busy to have a conversation. Right now he broke his phone and he emails me everyday and makes sure we hang out at least 3 times a week. I feel awesome, THIS is how someone acts when they are interested in being with you and actually cares.

To FwedFwinstone: You havnt seen her in several weeks? If you dont live far apart i find that quite strange. It seems to me she isnt interested. Believe me, if a girl is interested in you its normal for her to want to hang out as much as possible and not leave it for weeks at a time. I wouldnt wait too long to figure whats going on with her. Give a call and find out right away. Why should you have to wait around? You shouldnt!

Shymaira: I would leave for sure. If he didnt bother to visit you or anything on your birthday.. Didnt even call!!?? Then i would just leave to be honest. I would agree that he doesnt care at all.

Crappy situations but if there doesnt seem to be a way to fix the relationship or no initiation from your partner, i think its time to call it a day. Relationships shouldnt be a burden or a worry. They should be a happy time.

[FwedFwintstone]

Thanks JadenMia. And sorry for hijacking the thread. Some of the bits of what Shymaira says sound familiar to me so perhaps some of what I say may help too

Yeah, we live a couple of miles apart at the most. Unfortunately, she doesn't know her address so I can't meet her face to face. I know where she works though and where her parents live. But I've never stepped foot inside either her place or her parents place. (I don't for a second think she is cheating on me - she has a very strong faith. if she was, she would be the worst kind of hypocrite possible).

She's also put the idea of me calling her on ice as she doesn't like to have telephone conversations.

It almost sounds like a relationship claustrophobe, or commitment phobia.

I don't get how saying "I don't think you're treating me very well" can cause someone to go off the deep end, unless they feel guilty because I figured out what they were up to very early on. But she keeps saying she wants to be in a relationship and wants to sort things. Trouble is, they're not! I have no idea what's going on. Im tempted to go and see one of her friends (who I have met quite a few times), not to see what's going on, but to ask "how can I fix this".

I don't know whether to pursue this by texting more frequently and show I care and interested, or whether to give the space that she seemed to want but hasn't actually helped. The other bit of me says to hell with this, why should I be manipulated and playing games. I should just be myself. But if she can't be bothered, why try? I'm going to sweat it out a little while longer to see where this leads because I have a mobid curiosity and part of me wants to think the best.

But I still think Im going to keep to my time limit and forget it all.

[DarkHelmet82]

I think it depends on the guy.. i usually would respond within an hour unless I was busy.. everyone is different.

[shymaira]

thanks again everyone for your opinions/advice.
After the last "happy birthday" email from him a few days ago (and no call), I didn't write back to the email. I really needed some space to think things over. The last time we spoke was a week ago. But the fact that he still hasn't contacted me again really says something about how he trully feels about me. Especially since normally i do contact him back right away. If it were the other way around, i would have definitely called him by now just to see what's up. Anyway, his true colors are showing and I'm thankful that this hasn't happend now and not years from now. I wish i hadn't believed all his lies about being 100 percent sure i'm the one for him so fast...what was i thinking? Thank you so much JadenMia especially for sharing your story Jaden.
It's been a sad few days since i really liked him and pictuerd us together for the past few months. I was falling...and now i have to get back up, shake off the dust and go back to the single life. Ah well...that's life i suppose. i'm gonna spend the next few months with some quality me time before entering a relationship again.