Guidance, please.

[cheekxs]

who insulted you kid? i wish you had that same mouth true your whole story........when you got insulted and treated like noting! i really thing you are to young in your thinking!

[xxolovespells]

I beg to differ. Good luck. Take care.

[smackie9]

There is nothing to be confused about. You are his plaything, and he likes playing a dominance game with you. This is not what you would call a "relationship" where you fall in love, get engaged, then get married and live happily ever after. It's just an arrangement for having sex. I don't look at this as an issue with age, but ignorance at your end. Here's some advice from a much older experienced woman : men will do and say anything to manipulate naive girls like you into have sex with them. So all those things he says about believing in honor, honesty and how amazing you are is a pile of bull sh it. He doesn't go see you, because he can't find a good bull sh it lie to tell his wife or GF why he is going out of town. The guy is a predator. He trolls the dating website in search of women like you. So heed my warning, it is not what you think it is or hope it to be....your confusion is your gut instinct that something is not right.

[smackie9]

To add if you are happy with this arrangement and understand it for what it is, then there is nothing wrong with what you are doing. You are both adults and whatever happens is nobody's business.

[xxolovespells]

I agree that something is not right. There is oral sex, but it's never gets to the ending point. The same with regular sex. 3 strokes and he stops. Somewhat of a tease. Not sure what to think of this situation anymore, but I do think it's time for me to detach myself and move on to something else.

[smackie9]

That kind of thing is part of "dominance".......it is to control you, to have you beg for more, to become his slave eventually. He is just playing out his fantasy.

Yes that would be wise to move on. Everyone has relationship expectations. It is not selfish to have them, nor is it unfair to end a relationship when they are not being met. Best of luck.

[cheekxs]

i dont think she wants to hear any of that.

[xxolovespells]

Makes a lot of sense. There are times when I do what he ask like getting him water and whatnot but most of the time I do not give into his wishes - like making him breakfast/lunch/dinner, doing his laundry ( i have folded his clothes once).I refuse to do wife duties when I am not that. I wonder if his mother was abused by his father. He told me once how much of a lady his mother was and how she remained a lady even when his father went outside of their marriage. He's very manipulative, but he does give me valuable advice when it comes to respecting/loving myself and having values.

[cheekxs]

girl you really love drama and love to be around it. why even bother us with your crap!?

[smackie9]

Makes a lot of sense. There are times when I do what he ask like getting him water and whatnot but most of the time I do not give into his wishes - like making him breakfast/lunch/dinner, doing his laundry ( i have folded his clothes once).I refuse to do wife duties when I am not that. I wonder if his mother was abused by his father. He told me once how much of a lady his mother was and how she remained a lady even when his father went outside of their marriage. He's very manipulative, but he does give me valuable advice when it comes to respecting/loving myself and having values.

If this is what he learned as a child, then he probably feels that it's acceptable for him to go outside his marriage as his father did. Possibly, from a psychological stand point, he finds it comforting, and feels secure revisiting what he felt as a child by playing out things as his parents did. You see it is known that certain behaviors in adulthood are created from an incident that they experienced as a child. It can be almost like an addictive behavior because in order to experience it again and again, they have to manipulate the people involved to satisfy their "need" just like a dug addict will cheat, steal and lie for their next "fix". This advice he gives you about respecting/loving yourself and having values is another tool of his manipulation to give the impression of greatness, and trust worthiness. This tactic is used by predators like pedophiles as well to gain the trust of their victims. It's brainwashing, plain and simple.

[smackie9]

Another word of advice. Meeting up with strange men out of town is very very dangerous. Serial killers and rapists have been known to use dating sites and ads on Craigslist to locate victims.