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Thread: Does he seem interested in me sexually? How do I let him know I'm interested in sex?

  1. #16
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    So I asked him to come out with me today and he sounded eager to go...we went to see a play and all...it was really a last minute thing.. (called at 7.30pm, play started at 9pm). Unfortunately, he had other plans already set later that night so he couldnt stay with me. (and no I didnt ask). It is the last time we're going to see each other before the month and a half long break. He said he will be in contact with me but I hope he doesnt forget about me! lol.
    Plus, when I like someone a lot, I tend to have a hard time looking at them in the eye or talking to them so I hope he doesnt think that I dont like him as more than just a friend.
    He held my hand today when we walked through a dark area and we had a good time really.

    Just say "I want to have sex with you."? omg I have to practice this line lmao.

  2. #17
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    Look. The guy is into u sexually. He wants it, big time. Coming into ur room is a test, hes trying to read if u want it too. I get that u are shy, but if u keep brushing it off in jokey way, hes going to give up. Next time he jokes about screwing u, take the bull by the horns so to speak. Make ur move. Even if ur a little scared, do it. Sexual confidence is a great thing, for u and for him. When ur alone with him again, wait to see what kind of comment he makes, and just roll with it. Tell him to kiss u. He will, and take it from there x

  3. #18
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    Tell him to kiss u. He will, and take it from there x
    Not necessarily. Girls often want kissing, and nothing more. He may or may not do more than kiss. You don't have to ask him, just start taking his clothes off until he is naked. He will get the hint then.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  4. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    Not necessarily. Girls often want kissing, and nothing more. He may or may not do more than kiss. You don't have to ask him, just start taking his clothes off until he is naked. He will get the hint then.
    LOL!!! I like this. It's true too.
    Maybe next time you have him alone say "I think you are wearing entirely too much clothing... I might be too" :p
    'People are never perfect but love can be. People waste time looking for the perfect lover rather than creating the perfect love' - Princess Leigh-Cheri from Still Life With Woodpecker.

  5. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    Wow you have awful communication skills. He made an implication, that he likes you, and you gave him negative responses.

    Here's how this should go:
    Him: "hmmm imagine getting f*cked in a classroom, against a blackboard?"
    You: I'd like that with you. *wink* (This is where you put your hand on his crotch.)
    Him: "I'll have you up against the blackboard and go bam, bam lmao"
    You: I'd be like "Oh! oh! oh! Bring it baby! Bring the bacon home!" (This is where you mime having sex.)

    Class dismissed.
    You're welcome.
    This^. Wouldn't be my choice of phrase, but the point is to "up" the dialog rather than shut it down (which is what you did). Most guys, given that reply would make at least some physical move, or ask you out.

    Thanked in lieu of Thanks button.
    Last edited by IndiReloaded; 19-12-11 at 04:48 AM.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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  6. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jessica1 View Post
    Just say "I want to have sex with you."? omg I have to practice this line lmao.
    No. That's too crass, IMO, based on his interactions with you. What I would do is choose a suitable moment for a non-sequitur that would allude to his previous comment. Something like "I've been wondering how chalk prints would look on the posterior of my little black dress..."

    Unless he's an idiot he will immediately understand your point. Good luck.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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    Or bring him to your room, and say "You look too hot. You need to take your clothes off." And help him get his clothes off. If he puts up a fight, have a little play fight where you wrestle a little. Some guys kind of like that. I would advise taking off his shirt, then you take off your shirt. He takes off his pants, you take off your pants. Because I've had girls try to strip me naked because they wanted to see my very buff body, and they had no intention of getting undressed.

    You seem very shy, and that's a turnoff for guys. Avoiding his stares is a negative answer, and yes, he will give up soon if you don't make a direct move. Don't be afraid to succeed. To get over being shy you have to take a risk. I used to be shy, then I started taking risks, and I was happy I did. I didn't always succeed but it was fun trying.
    Last edited by bulrush; 20-12-11 at 10:22 PM.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  8. #23
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    No need to say anything! Just make out with the guy and slowly put his hand on your breast. If that doesn't work, hes gay

  9. #24
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    Thanks guys so much for the advice! We're on a month break right now..and he lives in a different state lol. He calls/texts me often so I am in contact with him.
    I have a choice to either go back on the 6th of jan (when he does). or to go back jan 31st. Idk what to do.
    Actually, just kissing would be good too. Kissing would then make us more comfortable being sexual around each other.

    Idk why I am so shy. Many people tell me I'm very attractive but I just dont feel comfortable with myself sometimes. On top of that, I suffer from social anxiety.

    How long does it take before guys give up? He's been making sexual advances since September and one time actually I did tell him to come to my room when he joked about cuddling and he got sort of nervous looking (this was in september)
    Last edited by Jessica1; 23-12-11 at 07:21 AM.

  10. #25
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    You are young, full of homones and you are not having sex? You two have big problems. He's going to get bored real soon but then if he wanted you he'd have made a move by now. Or you would have made a move and stopped messing about. Either way, this 'relationship' is going nowhere.

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    Quote Originally Posted by IndiReloaded View Post
    No. That's too crass, IMO, based on his interactions with you. What I would do is choose a suitable moment for a non-sequitur that would allude to his previous comment. Something like "I've been wondering how chalk prints would look on the posterior of my little black dress..."

    Unless he's an idiot he will immediately understand your point. Good luck.
    Legally speaking, guys have way too much at stake to "get the point" from such a very subtle comment. This comment is so subtle, and can be interpreted several ways, so that I call it a "non-flirt". A comment intended to be a flirt, but it's too subtle to be. You have to remember, the police will almost always believe the woman, when it comes to a rape case. And no one even wants the embarassment of even a rape charge, much less a conviction, which may be a felony in some states.

    This is the climate in the US men have to deal with. We have to ignore any comments that are too subtle, lest we get charged with a crime if the woman "changes her mind" the next morning, and decides she didn't want sex after the fact. (In some states, the woman cannot consent at all if she has been drinking, so all sex while she is "under the influence" of alcohol, is, by default, rape. So the man, not knowing this, goes to jail because she drank and consented.)

    Idk why I am so shy. Many people tell me I'm very attractive but I just dont feel comfortable with myself sometimes. On top of that, I suffer from social anxiety.
    You probably don't want to hear this, but I also had anxiety. I wasn't just shy. You may nor may not benefit from an anti-anxiety pill. But in either case, if you are are meds or not, you will have to change your behavior, or risk losing that special guy.
    Last edited by bulrush; 29-12-11 at 01:53 AM.
    I have a long time interest in psychology, specializing in relationship dynamics for 30 years.
    (Please note, we give the best advice we can based on the information given in a post. For better advice, please include the age of all romantic partners.)

  12. #27
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    ooh my! We speak on the phone about every other day and im usually the first perosn to know about things that are going on with him.
    i hope i havent been "friend zoned"! and omg I hope Boisdevie isn't right. He thinks I have sex with other guys and sometimes just looks at me and says "don't talk about other guys around me." when he said this I was like "huh?" because I've never really spoken of another guy in a sexual manner in front of him.
    plus he is an INTJ--hard time expressing emotions and reading other people's emotions. So sometimes I just don't know what he wants/thinks.
    Omfg, I hope it's not too late because I spent this break we had thinking about how to reform my "personality" and be more confident and take advantage of my looks. He told me he thinks I'm attractive. so I just need to be more confident.

    and @bulrush, i am not on any anti-anxiety pills. my grandmother is a therapist and was telling me about them but then she says that she wants me to deal with my problems without medication first.

  13. #28
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    Well, usually there is some heavy petting going on first. If you feel comfortable with him, lay back and let him lay on top of you while you kiss. Usually, there is a progression from there. Actions and eyes do the speaking.

  14. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    Legally speaking, guys have way too much at stake to "get the point" from such a very subtle comment. This comment is so subtle, and can be interpreted several ways, so that I call it a "non-flirt". A comment intended to be a flirt, but it's too subtle to be.
    You are right for this case. This guy probably wouldn't get it. Although he made the initial comment about the blackboard, it was put rather crudely.

    But I must disagree with you about my comment being 'too subtle', because it worked for me. Not that exact one, which I actually think is rather obvious, but same idea. Courtship is a dance that begins with selecting a compatible dance partner. Some flail their bodies about like jerky ragdolls while others waltz.

    Do you know what a double-entendre is? My example wasn't one, but they can be even more subtle.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
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  15. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by bulrush View Post
    Legally speaking, guys have way too much at stake to "get the point" from such a very subtle comment.
    There is a strong element of truth to this. Even if it isn't so subtle, even if the woman drags you on top of her and starts kissing you...as a guy, you should always stop for a moment before the actual sex and say to her, "Do you want to have sex with me?" Three of my ex-gfs were close to law enforcement...one a federal agent, one a state patrol officer, and one was the daughter of a cop. The first time with each them, I asked this question and they said, "Good boy for asking." And I always asked after that, too.

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