What hope does a horrible person have?

[woody]

I've met a small handful of people in my lifetime that I did "like" in some capacity (whether it be platonic or romantic), and I DID "put in the effort", I DID try to be the best version of me I could possibly be, in order to have them in my life. But every one of those people wanted absolutely nothing to do with me, regardless of what I said or did or how I acted.



No, of course not. But the fact that people want nothing to do with me no matter what suggests to me that I must be pretty bad.

I think we've all been there. Well, most of us. Ah, the group that didn't quite 'click' or shall I say, was perhaps a little too clicky?
Never been much of a group thing myself. Spent allot of time alone away from people so I might not have the insight into wanting to be part of the human equation. Lots of amazing people out there but me?, I prefer trees, my dog and my cat and i'm fairly certain i'm one of millions who feel this way.

Maybe it's them, not you is my point.

[pcmaster]

Like I said you stopped being better version of yourself. Thats a life long journey with or without people you want in your life. Because you are doing it for yourself. For quality of your life.

Do you have a dream? Do you know where are you going in life? What is your passion - what do you like to do when you dont have to do anything? Whats the purpoise of your life? Do you have given your life meaning? Where do you see yourself in ten years from now on?

[Wasting Light]

I have career aspirations, if that's what you mean. It'll probably be a long time before I get my career to a point where I feel like I'm "living my dream", though. I have little hobbies that occupy my time, but I'm still a solitary person. Beyond that, though, my life doesn't really have a "purpose". It's just a random cycle of mundane events. I'd like to see myself, ten years from now, with a life filled with close friends and a wife. But that's unrealistic for me. After all, ten years ago, I imagined my current self having a nice social life and dating, and clearly that wasn't in the cards. Realistically, ten years from now, I'll be exactly the same. Maybe I'll have a decent job, maybe I'll have an okay place to live, but that's about all that might be different.

[woody]

I'll suggest reading this one again. 'Jitterbug Perfume' by Tom Robbins. Might lighten you up a little.

[Wasting Light]

I'll suggest reading this one again. 'Jitterbug Perfume' by Tom Robbins. Might lighten you up a little.

How, exactly, would reading a book help me, in this scenario?

[dontaskme]

Are you for real???

I think you're a troll with huge eyes! Woot Woot!

[Wasting Light]

How is it that I'm trolling?

[dontaskme]

Because you have a lame excuse to everything instead of being open to suggestions.

[Wakeup]

Are you for real???

I think you're a troll with huge eyes! Woot Woot!

lolzzz.

[Wasting Light]

What "lame excuses"? All I've really done is offer up explanations to elaborate on my thoughts and feelings.

[milk&honey]

You're not a horrible person, because a really horrible person would not realize they're horrible.

[Sbc04c]

You've got a brief window to figure out what you want to give the world.

Nothing is free and you've locked yourself down so much in the basic things people do with eachother. Like chit chat or small talk that isnt deep enough for you or you dont understand thatgive and take.

Do you have a job? Bring donuts in once a week. People need to know your trying. They will even hang out with the crumugen guy if you make an effort.

Your trying to get on your feet and youll need help getting momentum. No one is going to come get you though. You have to make that genuine effort. Youre the bad guy in the movie that needs a heart of gold to begin his transformation.

if you lived in a village 15000 years ago. And everyone either farmed, hunted, or crafts. Would you fit in then? Without modern pressures of keeping up with superficial cultute. Just you and your people and your craft.

Id find a way to get a giving mentality going. Ultimately you reap what you sow. You have sowed a lot of negative seeds. Its worth the work. But its work

[Wakeup]

Great first post, Sbc04c *two thumbs up*

[woody]

How, exactly, would reading a book help me, in this scenario?

Well you'd have to read the book to find out now wouldn't you. Seriously, got a local library?, you owe it to yourself to give it a try. Couldn't hurt; Add a stick of M.J to the pot and see how much it helps you......

[andytownsend]

Being horrible is always a choice. It's not like how you looks that's genetics. What you can do is change! Start with baby steps. I think it's a great start that you're admitting your faults, now all you have to do is to correct it. Good luck!