Would no marriage put you off ?

[lovesjoyajm]

It sounds as if you are saying, I just want it easy to walk away if things go wrong ?

It is no big deal to me, I would be happy with a quick registry office but I doubt my girlfriend would like that.

The marriage is surely more important than the wedding day.

So your problem is the wedding, not the marriage?

[Dave Pearce]

Do as You wish. You asked how other females see that and we've told You. We don't guarantee Your gf will be happy with that.but if it makes YOU happy,do Your thing. Maybe she breaks up with You or You stay forever together. Best luck.

Yes, and I appreciate that.

At the time I felt my ex wife and I were entering marriage with our eyes wide open but only in hindsight we probably had expectations that were different from the reality.

If I were to marry again, I would want a quick registry affair, not the whole 9 yards that costs way over the top again. I'd rather see the money go towards a future house together.

I just don't want my girlfriend to have the same expectation and be disappointed.

[Dave Pearce]

So your problem is the wedding, not the marriage?

I don't see myself as having a problem.

I just feel that it's the everyday things that are important. Being there for each other, supporting and comforting each other and loveing each other, love and affection.

But what I would say to young couples now is that I'd rather see the money on a big wedding go towards a home together instead.

[Petit Papillon]

I don't see myself as having a problem.

I just feel that it's the everyday things that are important. Being there for each other, supporting and comforting each other and loveing each other, love and affection.

But what I would say to young couples now is that I'd rather see the money on a big wedding go towards a home together instead.

But it's not that You pay a lot of money for the wedding and You get nothing. There are always presents and mostly people give always money as presents so sometimes it's like You didn't even pay for the wedding. You didn't that that way?

[Junket]

DON'T MARRY IT'S NOT WORTH IT!

[Charlie Boy II]

yeah, unless you're going to have kids. Then it's worth it.

[lesa]

What do you suggest ? I won't marry again just because she wants to, I just don't have a desire to marry, once I've been married its out of my system. But i can see it being a bit unfair on her.

I suggest you do nothing. You explained yourself years ago. Maybe you can reiterate that point. It's not unfair because she knew how you felt about marriage long ago. It's not fair to you that she has a problem with comprehension.

[lesa]

But it's not that You pay a lot of money for the wedding and You get nothing. There are always presents and mostly people give always money as presents so sometimes it's like You didn't even pay for the wedding. You didn't that that way?

Not for the wedding I sent to in Malibu...

Of course they could marry without a wedding.

[vashti]

Are you saying women want to get married for financial security ?

Of course that plays a part if they want to have children (which is what most young women want). Unless the woman is stupid. Financial security is an important aspect of family planning. Are you saying women shouldn't hope/expect to be financially secure before bringing children into the world?

Anyway, you focused entirely on the financial aspect, when the age was equally important. Older women generally have already HAD their children (or determined they don't want any), so they are less likely to want to form a marital relationship to have them. Financially secure women don't want you for your money, so they are less likely to want to form a marital relationship for financial security. Tie them together, and you will end up with a woman who is unlikely to want to marry you.

You are allowed to not wish to marry, but you shouldn't expect to monopolize the time of a woman who wants marriage. If your issue is really the cost of a wedding, just tell her you aren't interested in having another big wedding. You can always elope. I think that is reasonable.