Post break up letter

[IndiReloaded]

Well, doll, it sounds to me like you found yourself a nice gal & just didn't appreciate her enough. Seems that's what she thinks also. That's too bad.

The regret you feel is natural. Its a case of 'not realizing what you had until its gone'. Some ppl need a wake call like this to change their ways. She's probably a lost cause to you, but hopefully you do different with the next gal. All the best.

[Fatslice]

I have totally come to terms with the fact that I found out too late what I have lost. The problem was that I lost myself also - she also knows that I wasnt myself in the end. But she lost herself also. That is why I want her to know how I feel about her.

Some resent development. My mom met her by coincidentially and she gave mom a good hug and her tairs kept coming. My family was her second family since she lived far away from home. She didnt pick up the phone when my mom called her later that evening as they agreed on. She then turned of her phone. My sister talked to her the day after. She was on her way to catch a plane, but the conversation lasted for an hour and she didnt care if she missed her plane which she did. She cried during the whole conversation. She talked about how she lost all hope in love. That she will never fall in love again because of how much she has been hurt. She mentioned the dating she wrote to me in the letter. It turned out to be one date and that she nearly got sick when he tried to touch her. About how much she misses me but at the same time all the bitterness. That if she got into a relationship with me at present time she would tear the realtionship to pieces by the bitterness, the jealousy. That she focuses on succeding on her own since she knew she has been to depended on me. Felt like a failour I think. Her selfesteem droppet. So when it comes to me she has every emotion both positive and negative. She has been conserned about me but also knows that by my last actions towards her truly feel that Im back to more or less myself and that she believes that Im telling the truth about us. There is no final words about us. Its allways "how I feel now" There are positive sides about me like being the faithfull, but still I managed to tear her heart to pieces without knowing it. How she tried and tried but got let down by me and by her naivity. There where so many things she talked about that made it clear that, apart from what I thought, that she hasnt come that far at all. And we are talking almost a year know, but with the 3-4 last months as the more intense. Im afraid that she is now where I was. That she is very depressed. She doesnt want any help or seek any help. I remember myself not wanting to take help when it was clear that I really needed it. I feel the same with her. Im also afraid that her bitterness and anger is overshadowing her thoughs and feelings. If she has those feelings and longing for me even with the bitterness - I would think that she hated my guts. But the fact is that there are fare more good things in our relationship than the bad. She truly has a problem letting go even though she is taking these actions.

What I really want to say is that Im conserned about her ...that she is in this circle where she suppress her feelings and tries to move on trying to focus on this small path. I havent been an a-hole and she knows it all to well. She has just been hurt equally by selfinflicting and by my condition. Is she trying to move on and away from something that she feels is a good thing? Is she keeping the door open as she puts it because she eventually will loose the bitterness and see me in a new light?

I truly feels sorry for her and I want her to be happy. I just dont see that mindset at this moment is doing anything good!?!