Friends with Benefits

[NeoSeminole]

elNatural says:

"It all depends on peoples self discipline and how mature they are."

ha ha ha, whatever helps you look at yourself in the mirror. You're trying to pass off your immoral behavior as something admirable.

[Gribble]

And how exactly is it immoral for two consenting adults to engage in a pleasurable activity together...?

[The Great OV!!!]

And how exactly is it immoral for two consenting adults to engage in a pleasurable activity together...?

You can say that for anything.

[elNatural]

ha ha ha, whatever helps you look at yourself in the mirror. You're trying to pass off your immoral behavior as something admirable.

where in my post did i say anything about morals? everyone has their own morals and for you to judge mine based on yours shows your immaturity. i was saying people need to be mature in the sense they know what they want and can know the difference between sex with and without emotional attachement.

[NeoSeminole]

Gribble says:

"And how exactly is it immoral for two consenting adults to engage in a pleasurable activity together...?"

sex is the closest form of intimacy there is. When you sleep with someone, you are giving away a part of yourself. I'm all for two consenting adults having sex as long as they are in a relationship. However, sharing your body with someone you are not dating cheapens the act and the people involved. You are basically reducing yourself to nothing more than a walking genital.

[NeoSeminole]

elNatural says:

"where in my post did i say anything about morals? everyone has their own morals and for you to judge mine based on yours shows your immaturity. i was saying people need to be mature in the sense they know what they want and can know the difference between sex with and without emotional attachement."

You didn't have to say anything about morals. I called your behavior immoral. I agree that everyone follows their own personal doctrine. However, that still doesn't make it acceptable to do as you wish. My main issue with your post was not so much that you have sex outside of a relationship, rather that you tried to pass off your actions as somehow admirable. You claimed that having a friends with benefits depends on a person's self-discipline and maturity. I contend that it depends on how low your standards are.

[Gigabitch]

Sex can be the closest form of intimacy there is. It is not necessarily so.

[NeoSeminole]

and it is the latter part you refer to which cheapens it.

[Gribble]

I sometimes give people massages. Does that make me a walking set of hands? I don't understand your logic. How is casual sex any different from a massage. Explain that to me. There are diseases and the ever-present possibility of pregnancy, of course, but assuming adequate measures are taken to avoid them, what's the big deal?

I've never understood the emphasis some people place on sex and nobody's ever been able to give me a straight answer. What do you mean it cheapens it? I'm seriously curious what your reasoning is.

[Gigabitch]

I sometimes give people massages.

You Goddamned whore.

Some religious people think it's a sacrament. Maybe Neo's religious.

Other people think they own somebody they have sex with and make up all kinds of convoluted reasons why that person can no longer have sex with others. Casual sex threatens this ownership. I have done this many times, engaging in "committed relationships", all but one of which have ended with the result that I found someone else to have sex with.

[elNatural]

Neo, YOU cheapen sex. It is YOUR decision to cheapen it. The sex is no less physically pleasurable if there is friendship instead of relationship (note i said physically). Notice I never said everyone 'should' have a FWB, I simply said everyone 'could' and that it is possible. If you think sex outside of a relationship is wrong, then you obviously cannot have a succesfull FWB. Stop writing things I did not say. I do not think I am any more admirable, I am just more mature, meaning I can know the difference between sex with and without emotional attachement. Although I do feel you are attacking me for being able to have sex without emotional attachement and being happy with it lol. Why do you think it is bad?

[vashti]

I think sexual contact is as meaningful as the people engaging in it want it to be, and I don't think it is *bad* to attach a great deal of meaning to it, nor is it *bad* to NOT attach meaning to it, so long as your partner is fully aware of your position.

[The Great OV!!!]

"Cheapen sex"....I like that saying!

lol I disagree Vash...it is either meaning full or not...not both or when ever the **** you want it to be.

[jurupa]

I agree with Giga that friends with benefits does not work. But if two people want it then why stop them. It is only moral or immoral to those who are confronted with the decision to have friends with benefits. Yes people on the out side will have their opinion on the matter, but in my view I think it is stupid but I am not going to stop either person from doing it. I may tell my friend what they be getting into if they are going down that path, but I am not going to stop them by any means.

[Gigabitch]

I just remembered this morning that I did the fwb thing once when I was 22. I started sleeping with one of my neighbors but wouldn't date him, wouldn't tell him where I'd been, wouldn't take him into account when making my plans. I'd just sleep with him if it was convenient.

I feel really bad about this now. Louie, I'm sorry. I know I hurt you.

He probably hates me.