Is There Such A Thing As Being Too Confident?

[Mish]

Well i bloody well think that's implied

If we were being lawyers here about language, there'd be 145 options.

I think the options stated implied reservation. Feelings must be shared reservly or on need-to-know basis. In my example feelings should be shared openly without reservation, but only to a point of discomfort or hurting of either party. Once either happens, session should stop and continue at a later point in time. I think my example has a degree of openess and sensitivity which other examples lack.

I remember reading an interesting quote dealing with emotional sharing "Every point of criticism should be followed by 5 compliments"

[Junket]

but I find that a lot of problems arise when the women almost uses a crow-bar to open her SO up

This is so true.

My girlfriend did this alot. I've tried pointing it out to her, but it wasn't until her drive home did she understand that she did try to pry me open way too much. She was always trying to see the big picture, trying to get me to see the bigger picture. I don't need to see the big picture.

It also helped that her sister agreed with me as well.

Why do girls do this? Jeez.

[anachronistic]

gigabitch, what you seem to struggle to notice is that people are not predestined to be pathetic/confident. it's dependent according to their life experience. it's not permanent, and it goes both ways.

obviously if you "pretended" you had the confidence to get with the girl, you have confidence in yourself that you weren't aware of. this is normal, because by human nature we often see ourselves weaker than we really are.

yes it's possible to be overconfident. that's when you see yourself better than you really are.



also, if a guy is dreaming about his lover cheating him, it's an unconscious, suppressed worry. he needs to talk about it, and although it might not be in his best interest to tell her, it's good to atleast tell a friend who they can trust.

[IndiReloaded]

Well i bloody well think that's implied

If we were being lawyers here about language, there'd be 145 options.

LOL, the Aussies are at it. Aren't you two supposed to go outback & wrestle a crocodile to prove who's right?

[Mish]

LOL, the Aussies are at it. Aren't you two supposed to go outback & wrestle a crocodile to prove who's right?

We'll take you through the drill once you get here Indi

Which city is miSSleepy from?

[Gigabitch]

They both do not address that emotions should be shared openly

Well i bloody well think that's implied

It's not implied, though, or at least it wasn't meant to be. Basically, I want to know just how much of my pathetic flawed nature can be safely revealed to my boyfriend without him thinking he's signed up for Life With Looney.

[Mish]

It's not implied, though, or at least it wasn't meant to be. Basically, I want to know just how much of my pathetic flawed nature can be safely revealed to my boyfriend without him thinking he's signed up for Life With Looney.

As long as you are sensitive to when opening up becomes too much, starts to hurt or makes either one of you uncomfortable, then all of it.

Honestly I don't understand why you keep on refering to yourself as flawed so frequently Giga. You are as flawed as the next person and much less flawed than most people I know. Which ever flaws you have you certainly cancel them out with your openess, willingness to work on them and with your sense of humour. And as far as revealing them goes, I think that all of them should be revealed and accepted at some point in time.

Isn't it the pinnacle of a great relationship? To be understood and accepted for the wonderful and flawed person you are.

[Gigabitch]

Honestly I don't understand why you keep on refering to yourself as flawed so frequently Giga. You are as flawed as the next person and much less flawed than most people I know.

How you can possibly say that while being as familiar as you are with how incredibly neurotic I am is simply beyond me, Mish. You of all people know I'm a mess in a dress.

I'm not the only one, though, so I think it's still an open question: Is it unattractive to your partner to see your deepest, darkest fears and flaws, or is there a certain amount of self-respect that should be maintained, even if you're just faking it?

[Charlie Boy II]

Hey Giga, list your neuroses here and I'll tell you which of 'em I think you'd best keep to yourself.

Also, whereabouts in Sydney are you from Mishanya? I live in Manly

[Mish]

How you can possibly say that while being as familiar as you are with how incredibly neurotic I am is simply beyond me, Mish. You of all people know I'm a mess in a dress.

Giga, if you think you're neurotic, you obviously haven't met people I see every day. My rule of thumb is any one given person's assumed level of sanity is highly questionable. In my experience complete lunacy and servitude to unpredictable and inexplicable emotions appears to be most people's default operating model.

I'm not the only one, though, so I think it's still an open question: Is it unattractive to your partner to see your deepest, darkest fears and flaws, or is there a certain amount of self-respect that should be maintained, even if you're just faking it?

In my opinion (However others might disagree) it is very attractive for a person to know that there is such a high level of trust in the relationship that the partner is comfortable with revealing their flaws and darkest fears. Acceptance of such moves people closer together.

But it's a sensitive matter. When you make yourself fragile, you have to becareful of your own reactions and feelings (And like Vash said once, remove your perception of any bad intent on behalf of your partner when you open up).

Personally, in my personal experience with previous relationship I accepted all the flaws of my ex when she opened up to me. It's only when my own flaws became revealed and she rejected them by commanding me to change is when our relationship ultimately failed.


CB, I'm from Randwick

[CAM]

There's such a thing as too much of something--confidence is but one example. Overly confident people are often the most surprised when they fall on their ass in life.

[misombra]

i think people should have at least enough confidence to be able to admit their faults and regard themselves as imperfect. i think it takes some confidence to be vulnerable.

[miSSleepy]

We'll take you through the drill once you get here Indi

Which city is miSSleepy from?

I think it's more along the lines of who can skull the most number of beers to see who wins

I'm 2 hours from Sydney btw, Newcastle.

[Mish]

I think it's more along the lines of who can skull the most number of beers to see who wins

I'm 2 hours from Sydney btw, Newcastle.

Sure, let's go for the Bob Hawke record

I didn't realize i would find neighbors on my return here, I am pleasantly surprised


And those three words underneath your nick I take it are in reference to "Sehnsucht"?

[miSSleepy]

No they're in reference to Spiel Mit Mir. tehehe ... I guess you haven't heard that one. It means 'play with me' and the lyrics are kind of ... potent, to say the least.