Yeah, it's punishment enough that she's dating him.
Yeah, it's punishment enough that she's dating him.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi
Oh, I see...the boyfriend is angry about the non-payment. Hmmm, I would reassure him that I am okay with letting it go. You definitely do not want the bf to carry any animosities of the ex into the relationship. He needs absolutely no energy spent on the ex...ever.
Lol we will see how she feels when she is in a similar predicament... then you can step in and giver her the ol' slap in the face. But hopefully she stays with him and has a miserable marriage.
Don't let those kinds of things bother you; that's what irresponsible people say.
here's a song for you...
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-w0-agVE8g&feature=related"]YouTube - Toni Braxton - He Wasn't Man Enough[/ame]
Last edited by misombra; 08-08-08 at 03:34 AM. Reason: better video.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
I agree w/what Miso said, let it go. Esp if your loan situation is a bit dodgy, you don't want to get into a situation where *he* complains. Things can often be argued more than one way.
Walk away Blue. $3500 isn't a lot of money for your peace of mind. As for the GF, she's nothing & you know *exactly* what she's getting. I'd just block her & don't even bother yourself anymore. Pity her if you can.
I think if you pursue this, you'll only be causing yourself grief. For what, a bit of money & some 'revenge'? You already mentioned karma, so you know where that's gonna go.
Just let go & be grateful you're free from this turd. You're lucky you didn't have to go to divorce court. Things could have been much, much more difficult.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
I agree with the others about letting it go. It's like a scar that never heals. But if you let it go, it will heal. Your bf just needs to respect that. I'm sure he just wants the best for you, but this is your issue to deal with in whatever way you see fit.
Getting financially used can feel just as bad as being physically and emotionally used. Don't prolong your pain. Coming out of a relationship with a manipulator, I can definitely empathize.
Last edited by starbuck; 08-08-08 at 11:34 AM.
my friend is going through a situation where she had to hire an attorney for her divorce. she wanted to do it pro se but her husband is such a liar and a manipulator that she couldn't get any truthful information out of him.
she's spending just about what your ex owes you in attorney and court fees.
baby ya hustle. but me i hustle harder.
I'm with miso on this, the money is not worth the stress and loss of health. Use this as an opportunity to slam the door on your ex completely, from now on he doesn't exist.
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
Can definitely understand your boyfriend's point of view, having the other ex "win" in such a way is just disturbing. When dealing with a jerk and legal methods not being an option I guess there's not much else you can do.
I probably didn't quite understand the whole loaning and selling-to-loan process with you and your sister and his sister, but is there any way for your sister to not pay the remaining $3000 or so of the loan as he wont be able to pursue the money legally either? If it means that she is paying the loan to him/his sister so that he/his sister then pays it to the bank.
If you look for a retort, well, having a " F**k it, keep the money, I don't want anything from someone like you" sounds alright to me.
Thanks, guys.
He emailed me this morning, acting all hurt, and like I was some greedy bitch that painted him as some devil when he really had such good intentions. He's going to pay me, OF COURSE, so he says. It's just that his Dad has cancer, and his work bonus wasn't as big as expected, and blah blah blah. Aaargh.
I talked it out with my bf last night and told him I just want to cut and run. Even just the thought of that loser causes me stress, and I'm done with that. I have a much better life now, but as long as he's still 'around', I feel like I can't be completely happy.
Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever. - Mohandas Gandhi
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~
You could always cut AND still try to get paid, Blue. Use some reverse psych as a parting shot. Tell him that you doubt he'll *ever* do well enough for himself to ever be able to afford to pay you. Try to be as scornful as you can while still seeming like you feel completely sorry for him.
He will HATE that & will try to pay you *something* I'd bet as soon as he can, to salve his ego. If he doesn't then you can always truly feel bad for him b/c that's a broken man, if so.
Bitchy and manipulative? Yes, of course. But your ex is a cheating, abusive turd who doesn't deserve better, so shrug.
Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
--Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh
Hehe, I like that Indi
Don't cry, don't regret and don't blame
Weak find the whip, willing find freedom
Towards the sun, carry your name
In warm hands you are given
Ask the wind for the way
Uncertainty's gone, your path will unravel
Accept all as it is and do not blame
God or the Devil
~Born to Live - Mavrik~