Got dumped by a girl who "loved" me..

[Husblas]

Well its three whole pages on danish, so.. but basically its all about why I wrote the letter, how I dunno if shes gonna read it, laugh at it, cry at it, or burn it without reading it.. in the beginning.. then about how Im feeling without her.. how down I am.. how much I love and miss her despite all her evil comments, block on msn and so on.. How I think of her with someone else, and what a hell it is.. And finally how I wish her all best in the future..

and, pitty as I am, it ends with a message that shes welcome to call me if she wants to talk things over again.. and if not, if she just want to yell or anything else, she shouldnt..

[Zach]

You absolutely should not send the letter if you haven't already. Your setting yourself up for more pain and suffering that it completely unnecessary.

I know your desperate and this is the hardest phase of the break up. You feel an almost uncontrollable urge to just try and explain everything somehow to make her somehow see through your eyes in slim hopes of her somehow realizing everything you have. Right?

What you need to do is throw the letter out. Go and burn it. Take a vow of abstinence from females for a while. And get your shit together. Eventually, if you listen to me.. you will be ok. And you will smile knowing you just made it through something horrible.

--Zach

[Husblas]

Yeah, well.. Ill let the letter be :/

[Indus18]

Sounds like we're in a similar boat. You obviously put more into it than she did, and thus you had more to lose. The best thing I can recommend is to stop caring so much about what she does, and concentrate on finding your own happiness outside of a relationship. You have this really good female friend who has made this experience immensely easier. Imagine if you had invested more into more people and activities and things that made you feel good about yourself. This wouldn't have hit you nearly so hard because you'd have a lot more to fall back on. All you can do is learn and move on.

[Fabregas99]

I agreed with Indus. At least you have female friend to hang around which could kill your time thinking bout your ex. I wish i could have few female friends which i could hang around at anytime so i can easily forget my ex but i dont have it. Althought i did contact them once a while, they stay in another place which 200km from my place but eveytime i will talk about my problem to them and sometime kind of making them fed up as i always talk bout the same thing. Now i only have my collegue to hang around but it only two times a week after works. Later i will be moving to another state and i wonder what will happen to me?

[lamarthe]

Definitely the hardest thing I went through myself too. Constant torture, agony and pain cause you know the other person is fine and you still love them. How is it possible they don't when they use to tell you they needed you like air, they had never loved like this before and bla bla bla. But, they moved on and you are still standing on the same spot. Or what's left of you.

Here (forums) is a good place for venting, saying anything that comes to your mind and any small thing that can take your mind off her, go for it.
The no contact rule is essential. Very hard at first but it's a bit like AA meetings I was told (best advice ever). One day at the time. And although it doesn't seem like it is going to change anything, every additional day is a small victory. And you do start feeling better. But contacts = disaster. You relapse again and back to square one or even worst. Awful. There is no miracle cure, just keep in mind it has to end. That's just how it is.

And one day and that you think is like a miracle, you feel the poison that's been ravaging you is leaving your heart and soul. And you realize you feel nothing anymore. You found yourself again. It's easy to tell you what it's like because most of us who experienced this are out of that tunnel. But you will be too.

If you are lucky, you will only be affected for a short period of time. If you are unlucky, this horrid state might last for months. In my case it lasted well over a year. But I am fine now and feel so much stronger. Human nature is amazing and the ability we have to heal and recover is almost endless.

And just think how great you will feel once it's all behind you. Best feeling ever. Good luck and come back to talk as often as you want.

[kai]

damn man i'm also going through this stage . well in our breakup I was more at fault . So i'm tryin to get her back. Is it a good idea? I love her a lot. And as we're in same school so things are damn difficult for me . When I see her talkin to other guys I feel like ****in hell. Please tell me wat to do