Obviously in need of some perspective

[AskingQ]

I'm sorry if this is harsh, but I don't think you're mature enough to have a good relationship with anyone. Relationships require honestly and trust, and you don't have that to offer to either guy. I think you should spend some time alone, considering the kinds of choices you have made, who you want to be, and what you have to offer. No one deserves how you have treated these men.

[livefreeordie]

AskingQ, thanks for your input and perspective. It's not so harsh, and not such a unique viewpoint.

[lizzy-bet]

I don't get to travel very much anymore, but your spirit and spontaneity seem very similar to my own. I married young, and I was lucky enough to find a partner willing to put up with my selfish desires and my ambitious dreams. He is more of a David type, except he would never let me treat him like a door mat. I often feel anxious and worry that I am letting what I want slip away because I committed myself to a long term relationship. Then I think of my grandparents, who threw away their relationship for money and youth, and I see the loneliness and regret that comes with aging alone. Even though I don't get to do EVERYTHING I want, I have done enough and have plenty to be proud of. I could die tomorrow and be happy that I have accomplished the most important things that mean the most to me.

It seems to me that you have spent so much time moving around and trying to experience everything that you have lost perspective. You are not planning your life based on long-term goals. Do you want to get married and have kids? If that is a goal, then the clock has begun ticking and your window of opportunity is smaller than you think. The last thing you want to do is wake up 15 years from now and wonder what happened.

A spontaneous, career driven, extroverted woman needs the opposite from her mate. Someone who is understanding, grounded, and introverted will be able to handle the changes in your desires and encourage your dreams. If you want someone that will enrich your life and will always be there for you, then David is your pick.

Love is never wildly passionate, it fades and becomes pleasant and comfortable. If you are happy and want the stability David has to offer, then stay there! But please, don't get engaged so quickly. Live with each other for awhile and see where it goes.