Don't know what to do anymore:(:(

[Yggdrasil]

In addition to Indi's post, I'd like to add this: [url]http://www.loveforum.net/love-advice-forum/30345-am-i-really-love-2.html#post456265[/url]

[Paradox]

PS : after looking over your links, she's a Storge/Pragma kinda lover and I am a fullblown Mania/Agape lover, I'd say 50/50 each, jealousy however is not my thing.

[starbuck]

IMO this is one of the most profound differences between men and women, and probably the most misunderstood.

I think, and it would be interesting to hear your opinions, male and female, that the sexes feel loved very different ways -- at least in my experience.

Women feel loved by their significant other more emotionally, like leaving a note that says I love you, listening to her, being there for here, taking time to do special things for her (like surprising her with many romantic dates far into the relationship), telling her (sincerely) that she is beautiful, etc.

Guys I think feel loved more often when girls are physical with them. I'm not just talking about sex, but turning down a kiss from him or if refusing a cuddle probably hurts him more than you think. It is hard for guys to understand why women wouldn't want to be physical, especially if you love them.

Not always. Sex is equally important for some women.

If I had to choose between the romantic dinner and the sex. I'd always choose the sex.

OP, when the two of you were having sex more often, were you giving her enough clitoral stimulation? Going down on her? Engaging in enough foreplay? Or were you just getting on top of her and going at it?

You might have mentioned this in another part of the thread, but was the sex really as enjoyable for her as it was for you?

[Paradox]

I am a firm believer in the opinion of 'first her pleasure, then mine', so yeah I go down on her each and every single time, if I can even multiple times if her spot isn't too sensitive after the first time, and yeah I do know for a fact she enjoys it. I know her issues are mainly stress related and libido related, cuz once I can turn her on she will never hold back or push me away, its just the problem that I can never turn her on during the week cuz she's too flipping tired from work, and thats a very big problem for me, I want a healthy sexlife, not only in the weekends.

[vashti]

I am a firm believer in the opinion of 'first her pleasure, then mine', so yeah I go down on her each and every single time, if I can even multiple times if her spot isn't too sensitive after the first time, and yeah I do know for a fact she enjoys it. I know her issues are mainly stress related and libido related, cuz once I can turn her on she will never hold back or push me away, its just the problem that I can never turn her on during the week cuz she's too flipping tired from work, and thats a very big problem for me, I want a healthy sexlife, not only in the weekends.

There is nothing necessarily "unhealthy" about sex being limited the weekend. Assuming what you say is true, she's tired and stressed. Is your sex drive supposed to overrule her fatigue?

What kind of work does she do?

[Paradox]

Yeah but the affection and stuff is also down during the week, and there's nothing tiring about kissing and cuddling, my sexdrive should never overrule her fatigue, I am fully aware of the fact that her sexdrive is far less than mine and I don't even stress that I want it every day, I am just saying that I'd like for it to happen during the week as well, if its one time, or two times then thats more than okay with me, if thats an issue then I am left thinking to myself, is this really healthy where one partner is allways biting his teeth and developing weird feelings towards his relationship.

[vashti]

Yeah, it kind of DOES sound like you may have an unhealthy amount of neediness with regards to this relationship.

I work long, very hard days on my feet, and I am exhausted when I get home. If my husband were pressuring me for sex and/or affection on my work days, it would irritate me.

What kind of work does she do?

[Paradox]

She revises hardware in the factory and she usually has to carry all this stuff herself, there are tools to help her move the stuff but the actual lifting and putting it on the table is for the employee.

[Yggdrasil]

Go see Rosie Palmer. I heard she's always available.

[vashti]

So her job is pretty physically demanding then, Paradox?

I am guess - based on your expectations - that your job is not particularly physically demanding. I think you should work a week at something proportionately demanding, and decide if you think you are being a tad bit unreasonable.

[starbuck]

So let's clarify, the two of you do have sex on the weekends?

For two working people, especially when one of them has a demanding job, having sex on weekends-only is pretty standard. Unfortunately modern life doesn't lend itself very easily to hump like bunnies all the time.

I think your expectations are unrealistic. Sorry.

[IndiReloaded]

PS : after looking over your links, she's a Storge/Pragma kinda lover and I am a fullblown Mania/Agape lover, I'd say 50/50 each, jealousy however is not my thing.

Okay, so to make her happy she needs to feel like you *do* things to promote her security. So, as with that list you made, point these things out to her. Probably verbally. YOu also need to talk to her alot and be her 'friend'.

YOU need to tell HER that she needs to touch you *everyday* (even hugs will do) and that she needs to acknowledge the things you do for her. Combined with that daily touching would be ideal, I'd think.

Let her read those links, and discuss. We are all more likely to give our partners what we need when we are getting what we need from them as well. Good luck.

[Paradox]

That's exactly what she needs, security and to know that I won't run when things get hard, to know she isn't gonna lose her job, that she has stability in her life, she did tell me that her longing for me has increased alot over the last few days and that I should not be afraid to look her up more often, she too wants to be more physical, so I guess my talking to her paid off, she gets my point of view and understands this, so yeah, problem solved Thnx alot