Girlfriend was a porn actress

[Wakeup]

Please.. You want to hear what you think we should tell you or do you want to know what we're actually thinking based on what you've shared? I don't give a flying shit if you started out casual or not. Respect her and if you don't then leave her alone to find someone who loves her and has come to terms with her past. If you're going to make it past the first night then you should know what makes you want to run for the hills and stay the hell away from her if what she did is something you know you can't get past.

[smackie9]

Dude congrazt! You are the envy of many dudes out there.....but seriously, this is the here and now and not 5 years ago. You both obviously want to be with each other and things are good....so why spoil your happiness over this.

[Incognito]

I am just trying to determine if her past is enough reason to not move forward. I would feel pretty shallow if I turned her away based on this alone

This issue is only an issue if you make it one. You said that she isn't doesn't suffer from most of the things that most female porn stars do, so her past is just that (in the past). We could argue what those past actions say about her character, like the fact that she is able to separate sex from intimacy, but from what you say you two seem to have a healthy emotional and sexual life. As long as she isn't wanting to go back to the industry, or prostitute herself and you can live with the fact that she [was] a porn star and there is a chance that someone [might] recognize her on the web there is no problem. It sounds like she might have put all that behind her, so this really depends on how you feel and if you will make this an issue in the future.

[Davidcp]

Thanks, that was a helpful comment. I do not think I would have as much of a problem with her porn experience if it weren't so permanent all over the internet.

[maxmax]

I do not think I would have as much of a problem with her porn experience if it weren't so permanent all over the internet.

Well, she'll age, until the point she'll no longer look like what she did in her porn days, so you won't have much to worry about from that perspective in the long run!

[Evo1114]

This issue is only an issue if you make it one. You said that she isn't doesn't suffer from most of the things that most female porn stars do, so her past is just that (in the past). We could argue what those past actions say about her character, like the fact that she is able to separate sex from intimacy, but from what you two seem to have a healthy emotional and sexual life. As long as she isn't wanting to go back to the industry, or prostitute herself and you can live with the fact that she [was] a porn star and there is a chance that someone [might] recognize her on the web there is no problem. It sounds like she might have put all that behind her, so this really depends on how you feel and if you will make this an issue in the future.

I was typing up a response, but here it was already posted.

You'll just have to think what matters more, what YOU think of her or what OTHERS *might* think of her. If she wants to put all that behind her to be with you, then she deserves it for you to put it in the past as well.

[vashti]

Criteria for dating casually and a long term relationship are different. .

I totally agree.

Unfortunately, some of the decisions we make when we are young have long-lasting consequences, and the most obvious consequence to working in this type of job is that she might fall in love with someone who can't handle it. I don't see how you are obligated to pretend otherwise. I just think that you need to do some serious self-reflection to decide if you CAN handle it. If you can't (and I wouldn't blame you), you need to let her go. She needs to be with someone who doesn't mind. It doesn't HAVE to be you.

[Davidcp]

Evo and Vashti - very good posts and food for thought. I just touched down at LAX and we will spending the week together.