12 years on. Should I still say sorry?

[7normanhurst]

@Maple1714 Can I ask you one thing though? After you broke up, did you decide you didn't want to hear from him again or did you try and cling on as "just friends" (awful phrase) and stay in touch?

[Maple1714]

I hope you have sent the message...time doesn't really mean anything when it comes to matters of the heart...12yrs or 2yrs. I don't think your letter will make her feel any pain again. I really think it will make her feel good. I am sure she has let go of the pain you caused her. I lost 2 people that were very close to me in the past year. They were good friends who I could talk to about anything...and now they are gone. You know what I promised myself? To never leave anything hanging...never leave anything unfinished or unsaid if at all possible. It's just better to not have too many "what if's" floating around out there. What if she is still in love with you? What if she isn't married? I promise you if the relationship was as intense as you say, than she has never forgotten you. It's not weird...you had strong feelings. You messed up by letting her go...so tell her.

[Maple1714]

We both tried to cling on as friends...and I told him I didn't know how to be his friend. He really tried...he wanted to have dinner and hang out with me on a reg. basis. I tried the dinner thing twice and he just flirted with me and talked about sex the whole time. My situation is painfully complicated tho I wont get into the details here...but I am the one who cut him off totally b/c it hurt too much to hear from him or see him. Cutting him off was my way of protecting myself. If I hadn't cut him off then we would have continued to sleep together and go down that horrible path...which is something I probably would have done in my early 20's when I didn't know any better. I did hear thru the grapevine that he was kind of obsessed with me and everything that happened btw. us. He really felt like he had messed up...and eventually he told me all of this in person. It was nice to hear it from him and validating. He has tried to make it up to me ever since...but I am in a new relationship now with a child. It was a intense, short lived relationship that ended too soon...we were not finished with one another and now when I run into him all the feelings come rushing back for me and I know he feels something too. He gets really nervous and weird It's been 4 years and it feels like its only been 1 week. When people don't hear the truth from someone and are left with their own perception of how something went down...the truth usually gets lost somewhere in all that emotion. If I had never heard from this guy again...if he had never told me what was really going on in his head, I would have taken everything I was thinking as truth...I would have believed that it was all me and that I hadn't been "good enough" for him. This just wasn't the reality though...

[Steelers<3]

I think some people are overreacting. Send her the message. It will get it off of your chest, and I seriously doubt that after 12 years, your going to bring back this flood of depression for her. She will likely be distant, might not even respond. But you will never know. Send the message.

[Maple1714]

Sooooo did you send email? Steelers is right...it's really not a big deal. Just do whatever you want. I just am curious b/c i was in a similar situation as I have explained...