I need some advice..

[the_robot]

Expecting a woman who works outside home to do all the stuff at home is idiotic. Men are able to do it, some just don't want to. For the record, I can do the laundry, ironing, clean the house and cook. The only thing I hate of those is cleaning up the mess cats do.

About the original topic, I don't know for sure what I look for but I can tell I'd need a girl who has a brain and wants to use it, and is nice and doesn't treat me like trash. Also, getting pissed at me for everything is a deal breaker.

[CAM]

I think that when men started expecting women to work outside the home to supplement their income, they gave up the right to expect women to routinely (and solely) perform these tasks.

It's not a matter that a woman shouldn't be willing and able to do these things. I certainly do them. Men should be able to do those things, too.

Fighting a "war" that ended in the mid-1980's. News flash: most decent guys already know how to cook, clean, change diapers, etc. Second news flash: most women DONT KNOW these things...and they don't want to either. The truth is that most young women today don't want to make a home together or otherwise...they certainly don't want a guy who can do the household chores better than they can! Most young women today would prefer low expectations...low expectations from their men and low expectations from themselves, too. At least, that tends to be the case in the US.

[girl68]

^ I disagree with that setiment. "Most" women DO know how to do these things like men, they do not WANT to because it would seem we are still expected to by a large number of men.

I think a lot of women do want to make a home they do not however want to lose themselves being a dutiful wife and mother instead of building themselves a life outside of that. I think in return that has led men (you, CAM) to believe that we don't want to build a home but we do we just don't want that to be the ONLY thing we do and thus we spend less time making a home than is necessary untimately leaving some work left to be completed by the other partner. In return there is less pressure on the man to be the sole breadwinner as likely the wife/ mother will be out working as well.

And I disagree with the notion that women are holding lower expectations of themselves just becasue they refuse to be only a homemaker.

[Olderandwiser49]

1. A great sense of humor- A woman who can laugh at her own faux pas' and laughs with, rather than at, other people.

2. Intelligence - I'd rather have a woman with a little knowledge about a number of things rather than a ton of knowledge about only one.

3. Casual Beauty - A woman who accepts her beauty rather than flaunting it.

Hmmm, sounds like the woman I married 33 years ago!!

Deal breaker - A cheat.

Hmmm, sounds like the woman I married 40 years ago!!

[Disillusioned]

1. Patience: It's been six years since a woman has shown any interest in me and I feel...strange in the head. I can't remember what someone liking me feels like or what it feels like not to be afraid of someone knowing I like them.
I'm not sure how much but I'd need time to get my bearings and not always be walking on eggshells around her.

2. Good Looks: I don't like being shallow but I've thought about it for many years. Preliminary attraction has to be based on looks unless you're blind or you've become attracted to someone over the net or phone somehow. I'm not picky about what I find good looking but if I'm not attracted to her physically we can't get physical...eventually that has to happen or it's just awkward.

3. Faithfullness: I offer and require monogamy. I have no problem with promiscuity as long as there's no false pretenses, but I can't participate in that kind of lifestyle because it's too far out of my comfort zone. Faithfulness extends to guarding each other's privacy and trust and being upfront about things rather than concealing and hiding them.

Dealbreaker: False pretenses covers almost everything. I like to think I'm reasonable though. There's a huge difference between her leading me to a surprise party and her having a discreet boyfriend on the side.

[Kaius]

Smart, Beautiful, Humorous

Deal-breaker: Slutty flirtatious

[hobby22]

Hey Jane

i look for real women, none of this fakery. be yourself and if thats not good enough well then thats that.

i love a curvy body none of this mega thin rubbish. nice big boobs and hour glass shape.
gotta be lovable and caring with a good sense of humer and not full of themself! confidence is a yes but bragging is a no!

i'm very shy so i like someone who isn't shy if you know what i mean.

[Doc Durian]

I think that when men started expecting women to work outside the home to supplement their income, they gave up the right to expect women to routinely (and solely) perform these tasks.

It's not a matter that a woman shouldn't be willing and able to do these things. I certainly do them. Men should be able to do those things, too.

How can someone even routinely much less occasionally cook anything when rice is a mystery?

I can knit scarves and socks, as well as darn a sock or ten. I've hemmed over a dozen pants before (the first few didn't turn out too aesthetically pleasing, mind you ).... I've made curtains for my residences when paying someone to come in and quote rob me was too scary. I can/dehydrate/blanch and freeze fruit and vegetables when they're in season versus paying 4 x the rate later in the year. I am at one in the force with crock pot/pressure cooker/and smoker apparatus. I do my own laundry and ironing.. run a compost bin out of a 200 litre ex-pickle barrel on blocks out back, place Baking Soda in the fridge and all cupboards... make my own sausages w/herbs from the garden, amongst other numerous actions of domestic and traditionally female focused nature.

I changed nappies religiously for my son and pressured his mother to get her arse out of bed and express enough regularly in order to give him daily feeds. I took him to the forests, beaches, and billabongs when his inquisitive nature demanded more than what my hours of work apart from him could supply and her non feminine existence denied.

I was father, mother, and regulated to the backburner of minority status.

I didn't write in into any pre-set bitch column of a gender oriented glossy magazine, didn't moan to my workmates, or go into great lengths with my family. I did what had to be done as best I could. Sometimes, I didn't totally succeed... but I tried.

So when I meet a woman these days who can't cook pasta or rice, washes her reds and whites in the same load, or waxes lyrical about feminism or being "equal" to men without prior, current proof or future prospect... I have to hang shit where shingle should be.

I also have to tip my hat towards my mother. She did both jobs while dad was often away bringing home the bacon.

[Olderandwiser49]

Doc, I, too, feel that a man needs to be able to fend for himself when it comes to what was traditionally "women's work." Unlike you, though, I like the fact that my wife isn't a great cook. I now work out of the house, and make dinner for us 95% of the time. She also works, and when she gets home, she has a glass of wine waiting for her, along with a warm bath drawn, usually with bubbles. I get the kitchen to myself, can make as much of a mess as I wish, and cook whatever suits my mood. She comes downstairs warm, relaxed, and usually, most appreciative! And before you guys decide to call me a pu$$y, I am a retired Colonel from the Army, Airborne Division (23 years), with two tours in Vietnam and one in Iraq. Treat your lady like a queen, and you'll receive your (k)nightly rewards!!

[the_robot]

And before you guys decide to call me a pu$$y, I am a retired Colonel from the Army, Airborne Division (23 years), with two tours in Vietnam and one in Iraq.

I wasn't thinking you a pussy, but if I were, that (^^^^) wouldn't make me think you less of a pussy.

[Illusional]

old assed threads.... wtf.

raverboy

[vashti]

old assed threads.... wtf.

raverboy

look again, silly!

Doc - it looks like your issue is more with lazy, un-resourceful women than anything else...

[Illusional]

yeah.. that hobby guy brought this back, but why??


*looks at vash*

you look again silly.

raverboy

[Illusional]

wait...did i just time travel?? f*ck me.


raverboy

[Doc Durian]

look again, silly!

Doc - it looks like your issue is more with lazy, un-resourceful women than anything else...

My concern is with anyone who says something can't or shouldn't be done, my issue is when women ask for clemency because they're women and therefore supposedly should escape the daily grind based on some distant period of history which I couldn't give a shit about. I wasn't there, I didn't do that supposed shit, and I'm trying to get along in this life... with someone my equal, not my greater, or lesser.

I occasionally have grandmothers and great grandmothers cream their knickers as their offspring make excuses why they shouldn't pick up after themselves or learn how to boil water or operate a steamer. I've had grandfathers and great grandfathers say, "I always had (enter name) do that stuff".

Olderandwiser49... For what you've mentioned so far, I hope she pulls her weight in your relationship.

If she doesn't, knock her off of the pedestal.

Otherwise, you traded Uncle Sam for Auntie Samantha.