Curing Nice Guy Syndrome HELP

[Killerbabe]

Well, I guess by now, everyone has finally realized that women like to be dicked around both literally and maybe not so literally

[peshkunta]

Strange. I get the opposite. I can't get girls to be just friends with me. I've lost some good friends/potential friends like that. It's totally wack! I don't get it!!!

[Bonovox40]

Check out this page and seriously review what you are/aren't doing that's working. There's alot of insight and wisdom to the whole "jerk vs. nice guy" ways of behavior that probably aren't too far out of reach for most of us to mold into just the right amount of who we SHOULD be to get the most out of what we b*tch about not having.

[url]http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=17008[/url]

[squirrley]

woah thats MVP's site right there....you let his secret out man!!!!

[Bonovox40]

That's what i'm working on. I don't want to change being a "nice guy", just modify it as the situation calls for. Like I can be nice but exciting. I can be nice but not let someone walk over me or feel like they can if they want. It's something that's a slow process but that's ok. If I just snapped my fingers and became a "jerk" at will, i'd just be some chaotic individual. If you can be a nice guy but have the confidence and semi-cocky, good humored attitude at times to give people a surprise kick in the pants when they think you might be some overly shy-sensitive type, then you're allready one step ahead of just being "nice" and leaving it like that.

I've had the reverse problem that peshkunta seems to have. I've made more friend in the past when that wasn't my intentions. Came across too soon with the "nice guy/friend" vibe. I changed that when I met my current gf. I didn't give so much into her, let her know I was interested in her in a dating way/not friends way, and played a little hard to get/I have a life besides you and she couldn't stay away from me. I wasn't doing it to play games per se, I just wanted to make sure I was 100% not giving the "I just want to be friends" vibe.
I wasn't a jerk about it, I was still myself and treated her with respect. I just let her know that she has a place in my life but there's other things i'm diong for me that are just as important. (career, self improvement, family) And she worked pretty hard to make herself fit into my life. She's the only person I've been with who has told me at some point "I want to be that girl that meets your expectations. I hope I can be that somebody to you." And that was after changing my mindset in a more positive way about myself and that I have lots of great things about me that are desirable to others. It really is about confidence and your outlook on life. I get more attention now from women now that I know I don't NEED women to feel happy about myself. (But they're certainally an enjoyable addition to my life) I can act more natural and confident and just be myself and that's attractive.

[Bonovox40]

I'm glad she feels strongly towards me in this relationship too. But in the bedroom is another story. (I posted it in the sex talk) Let's just say that i'm not so sure it was a good thing to be the first guy to give her an orgasm. Doh!