Originally Posted by
cmacattack1
Ah my ex told me what I did to her was "unforgiveable", that I was the reason she did shitty in school, she didn't hang out with her friends, she gained weight, etc. etc. She complained about her weight before things went bad, her grades sucked before I met her, and her best friend went abroad when we began dating so she became pretty attached to me. She chose to do all those things and saying I'm responsible for her decisions is pretty childish.
It was true, I was emotionally abusive. She would pour her heart out to me, cry and beg on the phone, wondering why I wasn't who I was anymore. Wanting me to do things to make her feel important again, call more, text more, send her stuff in the mail. I pretty much withheld my emotion, shut down on her, and the more she tried to get me to open up to her, the more stubborn I became. Withholding emotion is emotional abuse. No matter how many times I told her that it wasn't her, it was me, I had issues I needed to deal with them, she took it personally like she was a **** up.
I had one argument where I went to see her at work and she refused to talk to me the entire time and left without talking to me, so on my way home I was drunk and said she was being a bitch out loud to my friend and she overheard me when she came back to apologize.The extent of my verbal abuse. When she wanted to fix things and work them out when I was drunk and she was sober I just walked away. It seemed logical but it was more withholding emotion.
I know that by the time my ex talks to me again, her feelings for me will have long passed. It's possible that they haven't but it's not very likely. It's sad but something I've learned to accept. Whenever I'm stacked up against another guy, my negative history with her versus a new guy with a clean record, she will choose the other guy every time.
Sounds like marriage material to you doesn't it? Looking back, I don't even recognize myself.
ANYWAY
Sounds like your ex hit a bad spiral after you guys. He probably blames you for it. Blaming others for things you do. There's a definition of immaturity if I ever heard one. Drug connections, random bangs. That's too bad. I've always been a relationship guy through and through so I could never understand the random bangs. They never made me feel better about myself. And that's a guy saying this.
But yes! YOU ARE RIGHT! Logically, you will win either way. You will have your ex as a new and changed person or you will find somebody that will make that relationship you cared about so much look like a joke. It's sinking in already and I hope it makes you feel good!