So, Amanda has a stalker...

[vashti]

Tell him you are going to get a restraining order because he is scaring her.

[misombra]

i say just let him do it until he's done.

as long as you guys are responding, the fuel will be going into the fire.

[sticko]

Dude, grow some balls. :\

No offense but you seem extremely afraid of this guy.
Is he tougher than you or what? Because being crazy doesn't make you tough, and it seems like your using that as an excuse not to confront him.

[GrkScorp]

Dude, grow some balls.

It's not a matter of balls.., I think he's getting stuck on him feeling like it's a matter of being civil.., polite.., and respectful.., that he doesn't even know this guy.., never met him before.., and it's not "right" to just talk to him for the first time under these conditions..

Well.., to that i'll say this..

"I just want a guy.., who will see me run to him.., with tears down my face.., and the first thing he'll tell me is.., who's ass am I going to have to kick babe?" (Carla)

Be that guy.., (without kicking his ass).., you don't have to kick his ass to afford Amanda a sense of safety and protection.. but the very least you can do.., is go up and talk to him.. (being tactful and diplomatic)..

A boyfriend comming up to you to threaten you or kick your ass will only get you in either an aggressive or defensive state.., getting the two of you nowhere closer to progress..

But a boyfriend comming up to you to talk.., will actually be more intimidating.., because he reserves the right to be angry.., but he's controlling himself.., therefore you have no choice in the matter but to be polite and listen.. purely out of respect for his composure.., and with that willingness to listen and understand.., you can get a lot more done than with any other direct or indirect method (her ignoring him.., restraining order.., kicking his ass.., etc)

So just go talk to him.., alone.. without your girlfriend there.. you're being polite and civil.., there's no reason to feel any reservations about it.., especially since you probably are in the best position to help resolve this.., so just do it.. now..,

Best,

GrkScorp

[lesa]

I have a stalker too (10 months now) so I am not great in giving advice here and I may need some help soon. Mine is only phone..(correction and snail mail). It was often at first and now I guess it is probably weekly. I don't know. I turn off the ring tone to his number so that I cannot hear it. I would, for now, simply block the calls and save the emails in a separate folder possibly named "stalker". I would not give the stalker any indication that I am interested or even receiving his messages. For all he knows, the number could be disconnected or set to a new owner. Don't answer him at all. NEVER. Not even once. Don't feed him information about your personal life: your relationships or how you are doing.

Finally be safe. Remember when you are in a stalking situation, unless the perpetrator goes to jail (and even then they may stalk you) it is not going to go away quickly. I new email and phone are other options. It is good that he is not physically following you.

[Mathias]

Dude, grow some balls. :

No offense but you seem extremely afraid of this guy.
Is he tougher than you or what? Because being crazy doesn't make you tough, and it seems like your using that as an excuse not to confront him.

Afraid? Really? That's pretty funny that you think that.

I'm not using anything as an excuse. I've never met the guy--never talked to him, anything like that. That's my reason for not confronting him--this is Amanda's thing. I'm not going to come across as the jealous little bitch over this.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm not using anything as an excuse. I've never met the guy--never talked to him, anything like that. That's my reason for not confronting him--this is Amanda's thing. I'm not going to come across as the jealous little bitch over this.

So your feelings are more important than her safety?

Mbe you need to put this situation in context. When you use the word 'stalker' like you did, most ppl think of someone who is potentially dangerous.

What you describe sounds more like what we call a 'gentleman admirer'. An annoying one, but harmless. In this case, its certainly her thing to deal with, as she is almost certainly feeding the situation.

If not, tho, then yes you may need to confront this fellow.

[sticko]

Afraid? Really? That's pretty funny that you think that.

I'm not using anything as an excuse. I've never met the guy--never talked to him, anything like that. That's my reason for not confronting him--this is Amanda's thing. I'm not going to come across as the jealous little bitch over this.

I don't think it's funny at all.

Your not coming across as a "Jealous Bitch" by standing up for your Girlfriend. You'd be coming across as a protective boyfriend.

I'm not saying you need to kick the guys ass. But you need to confront him and tell him to BACK OFF. :\

[Gigabitch]

Has she complained about this to you, like it should be your problem?

[vashti]

Mathias - is he just pesty, or do you think he might be dangerous?

[Asparagoose]

Has she complained about this to you, like it should be your problem?

It should be his problem anyway. I don't understand why it's a bad thing to remind this guy of the potential of the police getting involved. Maybe he needs a wake up call to snap back to the real world.

[Only-virgins]

Hey she told him word for word to stay away and stop contacting her? If no then he is not a stalker.