Workin together with ex. remainin frnds avoidin bein rude

[stardust]

i gave you some advice before! but now i think we are really similar! because my ex is getting it together with another girl, who happens to be one of my friends! he doesnt hide the fact either! snogging her at parties, all over her like a rash. and what i feel is anger and hurt and all those things! so dont think for a second your alone. H e meant so much to me but hes just gone and proved that he doesnt deserve me in the slightest, and neither does your ex. at the mo it seems awful but ti will get better. we deserve better!

[Tone]

Yes, yes you do, never doubt that for a moment.

[rainbow]

yup stardust, its kinda similar to what uve been thru. I keep wanting to write emails to him, tellin him how I feel, how hurt I am, sometimes becomin rude.. till now I havnt sent any, I manage to click the 'save draft' button instead of the 'send' button. It is a bit therapeutic writing all those unsent emails, makes me vent out everything. but today i think im goin to press the send button . ..im just too tired n upset

[rainbow]

well it didnt do any good, didnt make a shred of difference, anyways he had agreed that we would be studyin together, n would let it affect workin together, but then 2day when i was supposed to go over to study at his place, i come to knw that she is alread there, despite the fact that he had said he wouldnt call her over when were supposed to study. and then when i confronted him with the fact, hes like .. but she wanted to come over and meet u .. well if she wanted to come over n meet me then y did she get stuck at his place . i told him there is always n explanation , explanations that i am not interested in hearing and that i wouldnt be studyin with him anymore.
I dont know how im goin to manage it but it wasnt workin out anyways, leads to bitterness uselessly , theres no point.

Can love end in friendship, i think im just discoverin that its very difficult.

[whaywardj]

Love CAN end in friendship. But it's usually very, very difficult for it to. And it usually takes a hell of lot longer to than most are willing to hang in there for. Most often, there has to be a period of no contact at all for the old feelings to fade and make room for the new ones.

[mhussain]

love can end in friendship ... but would one settlle for it?

thats something u have decide on ur own

Hussain

[stardust]

You sound hurt. but you know what? me and you both have to accept it. One day they will realise what fools they have been and we eont be there for them! Things have changed, they have got with someone new, something i never thought my ex would do. thought he was so into me! but ah well. im sure we will find our own brad pitt one day hey? ha!
Your not alone mate
oh and no more nasty emails! i did that and regret it! they dont have the right words to reply. so why even bother emailing them! x x take care x x

[rainbow]

Well.. I didnt get any reply to the email anyways. And things just worsened the next days. He started feeling guilty, and was all miserable, which made me feel even worse. Then one day after another arguement , I figured this wasnt helpin either of us, and it was wrong of me to grudge him whatever happiness he was gettin, and on the whole life is much bigger than all of this.

So I wrote a nice email, told him not to feel bad, and that hes been wonderful but we need to move on .. etc etc.
And Ive been minimising contact since then. I think what whaywardj says about stayin away for some time and letting feelings fade, is the rite thin to do.

The only thing you can do , is rise above it all, it gives you a great feelin of bein free, some sadness lingers and incidents occur from day to day which make you feel low. But I hope time will make each day easier and one day it wont matter.

I was doing the wrong thing in going to him for comfort, no matter how much he wanted to help , he wasnt the right person to seek help from. Once I stopped doing that, things improved. In the end you have to pull urself together and use some of ur will power to get u thru.

Well anyways, just to let u all know, its my bday tomorow

[Tone]

Well happy birthday! And glad to hear you're figuring things out. :)

[rainbow]

im not figuring out things. one day i feel all upbeat, and the second im down in the dumps again. Feelin awful once again. weed reached some kind of unspoken accord that we wouldnt talk about sensitive issues which just lead to more heartache. And things were goin fine. Then I needed something from him (we have a lot of common study related stuff) ..sent him several messages but he didnt reply and he was nowhere to be found. then next day i left a msg inviting him to my bday party, he didnt have the decency to reply and accept. (he came tho)
Again today when i tried to reach him for the stuff, he didnt reply. So i left him a msg sayin the it would be nice if he replies to my messages cause i am left wonderin wheather hes gettin them or not. And on that he got all worked up, and hes like'what do u mean' .. and again a classic argument all over nothin.
Im so sick of all this, im sure he is too. It hurts so... and its not improving with time.. its almost been 2 months. Its affectin my work too. I dont know what to do, how to take my mind off it.

[whaywardj]

Rainbow -- I went back to your original post and think I read something that might clear things up for you a little. If I read it right, he wanted a serious commitment but you refused it for three years. He moved on. How its that "dumping" you? You "dumped" him. So, why are you now suffering "separation anxiety" over a situation that you, yourself, prompted?

If you've had a change of heart about engaging him at the level he wants, and it isn't too late, I'd let him know in very calm and reasonable terms. I'd apologise for my oversight and ask for another chance.

[Only-virgins]

You never answered how old you are. You just said its your Birthday. I dont get it.

[rainbow]

hi all,

Im 24 , things are better superficially, Im even talkin to the guy about his new girlfriend etc etc. , all nice and bright on the outside. But Ive got this all pervasive feeling of emptiness , I mean I do daily stuff , go about my work, enjoy a movie etc, but ive never felt like this .. is it insecurity .. feeling of being unloved.. dont know exactly.
How do I overcome it ??

[PIZZ]

Go out with another guy. Have some fun. That will get your mind off of it.

[kikay]

i know how it feels, its hard. but regreting is normal.. treat urself a little something. meet new friends, eventually u'll forget him.

me given the chance to go out partying i would, just to forget my x. ure in my prayers..