I slept with my best friend

[IndiReloaded]

Tell her how you feel. Both about her and her present BF. Then remove yourself until she makes a choice.

She needs to respect herself enough to dump her shitty BF and *then* be with you. Otherwise she is cheating. And do you really want to be with someone who is a cheater?

Don't be her emotional tampon, filling the emotional needs her BF can't. She needs to leave him, for her own reasons and be with you.

Sleeping with you wasn't the ideal way to go about this, but it's not too late to recover this if you really do love her. Whatever you do, tho, don't continue to sleep with her if you care about her. That path = shredding for both of you.

[Fateless]

She's the only one that knows what she was thinking, and is probably confused about it herself. Treat it as she's dead, and who knows maybe she'll be resurrected in a few weeks, months, or years. Back off continue living your life. You may not have been a puppy dog after her then, but you are now.

Lol, I won't deny that I'm acting like a puppy now. Being rejected sucks, especially under these circumstances.

Jayzus... I can almost see them galloping off on his white steed now.

That actually sounds pretty cool! Can she also be naked in this vision of the future!?

i wasnt implying that you were trying to get with her the whole ttime. im just saying men fall for their female friends all the time. its better that your female best friend is your gf/wife and then have male friends coz men nd women are never "just friends" especially if one or both of you are attractive

I guess the "jeez how much of your life have you wasted on her." part bothered me. It kind of sounded like you were implying that I was trying to get with her. I haven't wasted any of my life on her. I also disagree that men and women can't be "just friends". I think it's possible, we did it for ten years. But after everything that's happened, who knows.

I know you're only trying to help though. I'm sorry I got so defensive.

Tell her how you feel. Both about her and her present BF. Then remove yourself until she makes a choice.

She needs to respect herself enough to dump her shitty BF and *then* be with you. Otherwise she is cheating. And do you really want to be with someone who is a cheater?

Don't be her emotional tampon, filling the emotional needs her BF can't. She needs to leave him, for her own reasons and be with you.


Sleeping with you wasn't the ideal way to go about this, but it's not too late to recover this if you really do love her. Whatever you do, tho, don't continue to sleep with her if you care about her. That path = shredding for both of you.

Nope, I don't want to be with someone who is cheating. Sleeping with her was a mistake, and I won't do it again while she's seeing someone else. Thank you, great advice. I will tell her, and then remove myself. I'm just not sure whether to tell her now, or give her more time.

[TablesandChairs]

Beth doesn't really know where's she at. She clearly being neglected in her relationship - there's something she's not getting from him but she's obviously the type who falls for the 'treat 'em mean/keep 'em keen' philosophy. Sex 5 times is not a 'mistake' - it was a choice but clearly, she doesn't think about her choices too much.

If you want your friendship to continue, then maybe lay it all out on the table and clear the air. Ask her why, if Mr. Jerk is who she wants, did she sleep with you 5 times. Which ultimately, makes her a cheater and just as much of a jerk.

[searock]

Did you tell her you don't think it was a mistake and that you love her yet?

[IndiReloaded]

Nope, I don't want to be with someone who is cheating. Sleeping with her was a mistake, and I won't do it again while she's seeing someone else. Thank you, great advice. I will tell her, and then remove myself. I'm just not sure whether to tell her now, or give her more time.

Good. Tell her when it seems like a good time for you. There is no timing that will be right on her part. This is about *you* right now. Just get it off your chest, then step back and let her make the adult decision.

Good luck. I hope it works out.

[Coddy555]

I'm new to this forum, I joined because I need to get something off my chest. I usually talk to my best friend about things, but....

I've known my friend Beth for years, and we are very close. We tell each other everything, we're always there for each other, and I can't imagine life without her. I have had deeper feelings for her, but I've always surpressed them. Our friendship was too important.

Beth has been seeing this guy for a few months. Let's call him Jerky McJerkerton. Jerky doesn't treat Beth very well: He considers his job to be more important than she is, and ignores her most of the time. He basically only sees her when he 'needs' something. She likes him anyway.

Last night Beth and I were hanging out at my apartment, just watching TV and talking, like we do at least once a week. Just an average night, until she started flirting with me. A little at first, and I tried to ignore it, but she kept going. I should have stopped it, but I guess some part of me wanted to. Things kept progressing, and eventually she undressed in front of me. After that there was no chance of doing anything but exactly what she wanted.

We had sex 3 times last night, and twice this morning. It felt......right, like it was meant to be. Every romantic feeling that I have ever had for her came to the surface. I wanted to be with her. I thought I could be, thought she would dump Jerky for me.

But I guess not: She called two hours ago, gave me this speech about how it was a mistake, she didn't want to ruin our friendship, she's still with Jerky McJerkerton......Blah blah.......

Beth is not the cheating type, and she doesn't sleep around. So why now? Why with me?

So now I'm left with a broken heart, and our friendship probably is over. I feel used, depressed and alone. I both love Beth and am extremely angry with her. I know this is my fault too. I should have asked her to leave last night, and taken a cold shower or something. I never thought I would sleep with another Man's girlfriend, and I never thought this would happen.

My life is difficult enough, now it's become a cliche from a bad romantic comedy. Except I seriously doubt there'll be a happy ending.

So.....any advice?

Be completely cool about it. Tell her that you don't think it was a mistake, but that it was something that you both wanted in this particular moment and it was all right.

Tell her that actually YOU wanted to tell her to just be friends and you're glad that she did it first. Then start acting like a pure friend again... BUT just wait for the next similar opportunity and try to have sex with her again. If she stops you, act like it's a joke and that it's a friendly thing to do. .. Then try again until she submits. GIVE HER 10 ORGASMS and she's yours

[namemyname]

OP - I am very impressed with how in touch with your feelings you are! A lot of men can't go there. Good job.

I agree with the majority. At this point, it's all or nothing. You have nothing to lose by going all in and telling her how you feel and what you want.

[Wakeup]

Beth doesn't really know where's she at. She clearly being neglected in her relationship - there's something she's not getting from him but she's obviously the type who falls for the 'treat 'em mean/keep 'em keen' philosophy. Sex 5 times is not a 'mistake' - it was a choice but clearly, she doesn't think about her choices too much.

If you want your friendship to continue, then maybe lay it all out on the table and clear the air. Ask her why, if Mr. Jerk is who she wants, did she sleep with you 5 times. Which ultimately, makes her a cheater and just as much of a jerk.

Yes, please make sure you know what you want before you talk to her. She doesn't sound like she's ready to be in any form of anything where she's actually having to be committed. I think if a woman who is emotionally mature, one who actually wants to be with you, would, after you've had sex five times, be brave enough to say something about any romantic feelings she may have had for you... not something like: "that was a mistake."

Just sayin: Careful what YOU wish for, OP.