This so-called "maturity"

[tooxshort]

I think people can be mature with the ability to act immaturely when they feel it's okay to ... I think timing makes a difference ...

Like, I'm getting on with my life pretty well and accomplishing things, but it doesn't mean I won't squeeze in a perverted joke here and there ... and some people think that's immature.

[boobaa]

I'm socially immature but mentally mature

And I look immature, which is the big killer

But how do you know it?


How does one know when he/she is mature? I'd like to know too.

[DoesntMatter]

It may seem cool and mature to curse all of the time at a young age, but as you get older, I think most people realize that a vocabulary full of four letter words is far from mature.

That is actually a good point you bring up. At my age girls would consider guys with a squeaky-clean vocabulary to be a sign of immaturity. Or maybe not immaturity, but at least something to be avoided, seeing as a lot of the guys who score chicks usually talk like sailors. But *some* older people look at a persons language as a mark of their maturity or, worse, intellect. People who do that are judgmental and probably suck at math and science if they think they can tell so much from how a persons talks. I consider these people pretentious. But it depends on the setting… I don’t talk how I do on an internet forum the same way I do in front of my mom, professors, strangers, or acquaintances. Mainly just in the presence of my friends or if humor is at stake. And I consider LF people my friends

How are you mentally mature exactly? Can you give some examples? I have read some of your posts and you are crude and frequently use profanity. How old are you?

See, right now I could be a wiseass like I would be in front of my friends and tell you I’m old enough to knock up your mom. But we’re being kind of serious right now, so I’ll just give a real answer and tell you I’m 19

But I consider myself mentally mature because I know what it takes to manage myself, my future, and my goals, and am doing a good job of keeping all my ducks in a line without needing people to tell me what to do. Even when I first left for college my parents knew I’d do fine and just told me “You know what to do” in regards to everything college or other things could bring. And I’m very responsible with my money

You mention that you are “socially immature,” why is that? You aren’t one of those kids that were locked up inside of his father’s basement in Austria. Why don’t you do anything about it instead of complaining about it online? Maybe you don’t know how to make friends and you are awkward around people?

I’m extremely comfortable around my friends, it’s making friends that is hard. Most guys, from the nerdy to the popular ones, end up liking me. The girls don’t end up liking me. The population is cut in 2 along gender lines, and only 1 is easy to befriend

[DoesntMatter]

No, you know what I consider a sign of immaturity? The kids sitting behind me in lecture this morning who are actually entering their senior year of college, complaining about the material that we have to learn. You know what? You signed up for a course, material is gonna be taught in it, it was your choice, the material is more than masterable, it involves nothing more than doing a little reading in the book and going over some lecture notes. You know what you have to do and the path is just sitting there, you can see it, just go and do it

[boobaa]

I see these people every day. They get A-s, some B-s, but yet they complain how they managed it, how shitty they are etc. Damn attention seekers.

[iamashrimp]

DoesntMatter,
I'm not sure if you want my advice but here it is:

Making friends will become easier with a little confidence and some practice.

Do you talk to random people like in the elevator or in a long line? I think it’s the easiest to raise comfort level when talking to strangers because there is no pressure as you will probably not see the person again and the whole exchange will only last for a few minutes at most. Try making eye contact and smiling at the bank teller, taxi driver or the cahier and ask them how their day is going, people in service almost always are respectful (except in kmart but hey what can you do) , so the mini conversations with strangers will give you confidence that will translate into more personal interactions at other times in your life.

I’m in college too, and I think its pretty easy to make friends in class, make study groups, when someone needs a pencil let them borrow it and then if they don’t give it back, ask for it during the next class and tell them that they owe you one..does your college have a gym or lounge? Are you in any clubs? Joining clubs are any easy way to met people with similar interest as you. College is a really good time for self improvement and discovery and is wish you the best.

I’m extremely comfortable around my friends, it’s making friends that is hard. Most guys, from the nerdy to the popular ones, end up liking me. The girls don’t end up liking me. The population is cut in 2 along gender lines, and only 1 is easy to befriend

When you say girls don’t like you do you mean they don’t like you romantically, or irls just don’t like you in general and you have no girls that are friends? Do you try to make friends with girls that you find attractive or do you try to befriend girls that aren’t too hot but have a good personality too? Have you ever asked anyone who knows you in person why they think that girls don’t like you?

I’m 21 just so you know. My boyfriend is a bit socially awkward too... he was sooo sweaty and turned red when we first met (I approached him) and I had to ask him for his number because he was too nervous to ask me…so I kinda understand what you are going through.