Confused by ex-boyfriends continued attention!!!

[JennaBella]

Think my gut feeling may have been wrong. In spite of the fact that he has been doing the x's on texts etc I think he's playing me, trying to get me back in side. I had a no choice situation earlier where I had to speak to him, genuinely had no choice as it was work related, and although he was friendly I got the feeling it was a colleague sort of friendliness as opposed to speaking to someone he is in love with. In saying that he sits right next to workmates so was hardly going to be anything else! Grrrr! So frustrated now. I need to move on! He has!

[BeStrong]

Think my gut feeling may have been wrong. In spite of the fact that he has been doing the x's on texts etc I think he's playing me, trying to get me back in side. I had a no choice situation earlier where I had to speak to him, genuinely had no choice as it was work related, and although he was friendly I got the feeling it was a colleague sort of friendliness as opposed to speaking to someone he is in love with. In saying that he sits right next to workmates so was hardly going to be anything else! Grrrr! So frustrated now. I need to move on! He has!

Hi Jenna,

I've been through something similar recently and this book has really helped me - [url=http://www.amazon.co.uk/o/ASIN/0007225180?tag=betteraddons-20]It's Called a Breakup Because It's Broken: The Smart Girl's Breakup Buddy: Amazon.co.uk: Greg Behrendt, Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt: Books[/url]

It's primarily for women but I'm a bloke and have found it invaluable! Seriously - buy it, read it and then read it again.

Stay strong x

[JennaBella]

Hi, thanks for the advice. Will give it a look! Having a really shitty couple of days to be honest! Felt quite positive last week as things seemed to be moving along nicely but suddenly I'm having major doubts and I am annoyed with myself for falling back into feeling sorry for myself. I am such an idiot sometimes!!

[BeStrong]

That's the way it goes I'm afraid - one minute you can feel like everything's getting better and then you'll have a bad hour/day/couple of days.

No contact outside of work related stuff is the only way to go and don't forget the weekends are often the worst times.

It will get better - just takes time but it's agony waiting for that time to pass, I know.

[JennaBella]

Yeah I guess there are always ups and downs! Think I was just getting a bit ahead of myself last week and was starting to think maybe there was some hope and he is missing me after all. I'd be surprised if he doesn't I guess, we were so close emotionally as well as all the rest of it and I know that level of closeness is something he needs. Me too I guess! A male friend of mine was going mad last week shouting at me that my ex is just worming his way back into my life and he can foresee him making a move soon.... At the time when he said it I thought oh god I hope he's right but then I think, hang on, I don't think I'm in the right place emotionally yet. I haven't let go of the hurt and upset caused before, surely that's not a health starting place for any relationship!? I wonder what revelations this week will bring......

[BeStrong]

He probably does miss you sometimes but that doesn't mean the relationship is worth having. If it was, why did it flounder in the first place? We don't think rationally when we're in the eye of the storm but you'll look back on it all in a few weeks/months time and laugh at yourself.

As you say, he's caused you a lot of hurt and upset.....................why wouldn't he again?

You really must read that book!

[JennaBella]

I will, in fact I've ordered it already lol. The wonders of the amazon app for iPhone!

[BeStrong]

Great! Let me know how you get on with it.

I'm on my 3rd read-through!

[JennaBella]

3-5 days for delivery. Will let you know what the verdict is Ill literally try anything now, fed up beyond belief!!!!!!!

[BeStrong]

Go girl!!!!

[JennaBella]

Is it so wrong to want my ex back??? Why are we made to feel bad for wanting that!? I love him with all my heart!!! I miss him like crazy

[BeStrong]

It's natural to feel how you do but is this bloke really stable and someone who can offer you a happy future? It sounds like he wanted to get in very deep very quickly with all the living together and going on holiday stuff (that in itself is a bad sign in my opinion), then when you weren't able to commit financially at that time you were suddenly a 'friend with benefits' and now he's met someone else and is taking them away to a wedding?? If he wanted to be with you then he would be with you, he knows how you feel.

I don't mean to sound harsh but the signs aren't good. Read that book as soon as you get it - as per the title, it's called a breakup because it's broken.

I do know how you feel though and it's hideous to feel that way but if you can maintain no contact time will pass and eventually you'll feel better.

Hope you feel more positive than this morning - I find the mornings are the worst when you feel that way.

[JennaBella]

I hate hearing that but I guess that's because it's probably all the truth

[BeStrong]

Yep, sorry - I know it's not what you want to hear but I think you know deep down it's the truth.

I know I keep banging on about the book but that's what's so good about it - it tells you what you really already know and although that's hard to take, the sooner you believe it the sooner you can move on and meet someone who deserves you. It's a very supportive book though - don't be scared of reading it!

Never forget - don't think of being single as being alone, think of it as being fully available to meet someone fantastic!

[JennaBella]

Thanks for that
I need my head read sometimes.... Just shit at dealing with rejection!
But thanks and I will read that book cover to cover seeing as it's been so highly recommended and by a bloke no less lol