Devastated, will she come back?

[RuntimeError]

Yep it sounds like she is playing with you ... either she wants to be with you or not ... and basicly she can cry all she wants but actions speak louder then words and she doesn't want to be with you. Hold strong with no contact ... although hard it is the best way. One of two things will happen either she will break and come running back to you or two she won't contact you either way you will know your answer and it will be the truth. Save yourself the trouble and dignity of being kick around like a rag doll. You are a big part of this relationship and you make the decision of weather you want to be with her and not and that is as much as you can do, she has to play her part.

[Teddy057]

Update... Ended up talking to her on the phone, she cried her eyes out and said how much she missed me and I comforted her, told her everything was gonna be ok.. Went to meet her in person, she said that she's been so lonely and there's nothing more she wants to do then just jump back in to it... But she still doesn't know what she wants and just needs time... At this point, I think it's so hard because our relationship was based off friendship and with that gone, she's even more lost... Her reasoning is, why do I have doubts about someone who would and has done anything for me? She also mentioned how our relationship was headed for "permanence" and she's not sure if that's what she wants.. I told her were in it for the day to day happiness and nothing is guaranteed. At this point, I'm not sure if she'll ever find herself

[lahnnabell]

Sorry, dude. This is why the no-contact rule is necessary. You gotta stick to it or you're gonna be hearing the same sob story from her until the end of time. You're gonna hurt her, but you'll also be doing her a favor whether you know it or not right now.

I've had ex-boyfriends indulge my drama in the past and I would have much rather they sooner than later issued no contact (or that I had the guts to do it myself). But it took time and a few bad break-ups to really get the hang of it. After several break-ups now, I've learned that despite how much it hurts it's like the ripping off of a band-aid. It's always gonna hurt more when you psych your mind up for it, when in reality it's the initial "rip" that hurts. Once you take it off and give your wounds some air, you'll start to feel better. You won't be bogged down by her drama and her problems. You can't help this girl find herself. I'm sorry. But you CAN help yourself, and that's what this is about right now. You.

[cmacattack1]

She'll find herself but she has to do it on her own. You cannot help her with this as much as you would like to. She feels guilty, she hates herself for not feeling the way she should be feeling and she wants comfort and somebody to be there for her. It's not your responsibilty, she isn't your priority, and your love for her is working against you right now. And you are actually stunting her growth as well because you are cushioning the blow she is receiving from reality and lonliness and having to possibly make changes and become a better person.

It's going to take a little bit of tough love but you have to let her know that this is what she wanted. This isn't helping you either, it's keeping you pining for something that isn't going to work. She doesn't feel that way no matter how much you comfort her. You have to accept this reality and keep her from trying to drag you down too. You are going to look back at this in some good time and ask yourself "What was I doing?" I promise you.

[Teddy057]

It's been 2 days since last contact. Last night I went out and did some partying/ meeting new people. I had a great time, but I still truly miss her being in my life. From what we shared in our relationship it's as if a part of her is in me now, and when she is gone i'll always feel that empty space. Now, I know everyone is like blah blah blah you'll think "what was I doing" etc. But, I really feel like I want this girl in my life, forever. If she ends up not coming back to me though, I don't know how being just great friends would go. No matter the time in my life i meet up with her, I will always have those deep rooted emotions for her, every ounce of me wants to hug and kiss her when i see her. I feel like i'm starting to ramble on, so I guess this will be my last post for a while. I appreciate everyone's insight.

[cmacattack1]

Forever is a long time. You got alot of life ahead of you. And you are going to be thinking about her for a while too. It goes away over time though. Just keep doing what you are doing and moving forward to put that behind you. See where you both are a few months down the road.

[Teddy057]

We talked last thursday.. But not since.. If i do not hear from her by this thursday, I'm going to say my final goodbye then. I can't take this fantasy of us maybe getting back together anymore.

[cmacattack1]

This is where mistakes can happen. You are on your own, you are in pain, you can't handle it. You need something, some kind of answer for you to feel better. When we are still emotional like this, nothing good can really come of it. Why are you pushing for this right now, when it's a very delicate situation? Her actions (breaking up with you) supercede any confusion or crying or anything she is throwing at you right now. You know logically she is messed up and doesn't want to be alone, and that is why she is crying to you. You feel like you need something to help you move on when you just really need to think about it. This chapter of you guys is over. There is always the possibility of reconciliation in the future. Not just in the next couple months, maybe a year, a couple years down the road. Right now it would not be a good time, as she hasn't had enough time on her own to really come to grips with her issues. So if she contacts you, you have to remind her that this is what she wants and she needs time on her own to get herself back to normal. You guys didn't begin a relationship on crying and feeling bad and guilty and upset. You have to move forward on your own and you will do so without her, whether you get an answer or not. You just have to keep telling yourself this. And remember, that nothing is getting fixed currently from keeping in touch and having her go from dumping you, to missing you. For the both of you. Just keep to yourself and let the healing begin.

You don't need an ultimatum. You don't need any definitive answer. You feel like you do but you already got it.

[Teddy057]

In my mind, for the healing to begin I need to give her this letter I just wrote. It's very nice and has nothing spiteful in it. I let my mom read it and she started to cry, everything I say in it is just very sweet. I can't stand not having a definite answer, every day I hate to look at my phone to see if she's texted me or not. It's slowly eating away at me, I need to break it off myself and leave it at a "no" for the time being. I'm going to drop this letter off at her house on my way home from school, even if she's home I'm going to just leave it on her door.

[Teddy057]

Basically, I just want closure for myself, and I want her to know I'm not just waiting to hear from her about her "decision".

[Teddy057]

I need to delete her from my facebook, get rid of all our pictures together, I just can't be reminded of her everyday.

[Teddy057]

I ended up giving her the letter and a rose. I left it on her doorstep and she found it when she got home from work. She said "I appreciate the flowers and the letter, I hope you're doing okay. Im glad you understand why I had to do what I did. I will never forget our treasured memories " Guess it's done.

[cmacattack1]

You already had your answer but if this is what you needed to confirm it, so be it.

Sorry it worked out like this. Does this answer your questions about how she feels now?

[Teddy057]

Yeah, it does. Although, I still won't ever understand why she said she wants to jump back in to it but needs more time blah blah I love you still. In my eyes, this relationship ended because we got a long too well, I did nothing wrong. If she doesn't want a guy who would literally drop ANYTHING he's doing for her, so be it, it's her loss. Tons of women would give anything for a guy like me, now it's just finding the right one.