Wife wants new ring for upcoming 10 year Anniversary

[Wakeup]

Compromise. If you have children buy her a stunning Family Ring with yours hers and your child(rens) birthstones and give it to her in Hawaii. What will SHE be buying YOU?

P.S. Please learn to say NO.

[999999]

Compromise. If you have children buy her a stunning Family Ring with yours hers and your child(rens) birthstones and give it to her in Hawaii. What will SHE be buying YOU?

P.S. Please learn to say NO.

I usually don't get anything from her on our anniversary. Yes I'm not the best at saying NO and I have to get better...would sure help me manage at work better as well. Thanks

[Wakeup]

Maybe this will help:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/communication-success/201202/seven-ways-say-no-and-keep-good-relations

Good luck.

[sssspanos]

I got angry reading your problem... Why doesnt she buy you a nice car just for a change...

Anyway serious talking, a present is something you appreciate, not something you demand - and even worse don't talk to the other one if you don t get it...

I m sorry but since you have achieved money not being a problem, you now have a more difficult goal - to find a woman that isn't a problem.

[999999]

I got angry reading your problem... Why doesnt she buy you a nice car just for a change...

Anyway serious talking, a present is something you appreciate, not something you demand - and even worse don't talk to the other one if you don t get it...

I m sorry but since you have achieved money not being a problem, you now have a more difficult goal - to find a woman that isn't a problem.

Thank you for your reply....today has been a somewhat upsetting day.

[999999]

Maybe this will help:


Good luck.

Thank you for the link.

[HDBadger]

The correct response to this is, "No."

What do YOU want to get her, if anything?

And the responses saying "If you can afford it, why not?" are absurd. Yeah, he's got eight grand lying around, so he should spend it on a toy for his demanding wife. Gimme a break.

What is his wife getting for him, since being married is about a partnership?

[basilandthyme]

Thank you for your reply....today has been a somewhat upsetting day.

what's going on?

[dem862]

This sounds like a test of some sort. Does she have any reason to doubt your love? Have there been any problems in the relationship recently? Could she be feeling inferior to a friend or family member? There are many possibilities. But I would tend to agree that spending that much money on a ring is irrational. Especially considering the price of diamonds are deliberately manipulated by the diamond cartel.

[Starnique]

If that is what makes her happy and you can afford it, then why not. You might prefer a vacation instead but she might not want that. I agree with LCM. Maybe instead of replacing it, why not have it as an addition.

***This***. I would never replace the ring. But whats wrong with an addition?

Edited to add: I do think its selfish for her to not ever get you anything.

[vashti]

I usually don't get anything from her on our anniversary.

Assuming this is true (which is nearly impossible to believe), I wonder what you have ASKED her for? Men can be very difficult to buy gifts for, and I know that any time my ex even HINTED at wanting something, I would buy it for him, regardless of cost, because it was a rarity that he ever wanted anything.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Assuming this is true (which is nearly impossible to believe), I wonder what you have ASKED her for? Men can be very difficult to buy gifts for, and I know that any time my ex even HINTED at wanting something, I would buy it for him, regardless of cost, because it was a rarity that he ever wanted anything.

It's nearly, impossible to believe person is selfish and entitled enough to expect a gift without giving one in return? I think the nature of the situation leads at least some credibility to the OP.

Just because you are not an entitled bitch, doesn't mean his wife isn't. You think it's fair she demands an $8K ring, without so much as attempting to pick out a gift. Even you had to know this is bullshit, as you were typing it.

[surfhb2]

I could pull it off but could not afford a vacation or another big purchase for a while.

ummmm.....that statement says you cant afford it. You need to explain this to your wife.

Spending on luxury items inst something you "pull off" ! I think you need to read some books on personal finance and budgeting

[999999]

Thank you everyone for all the responses greatly appreciated. To be honest I'm really pissed at the whole situation. Yes I've told her how I feel and stated I do not agree with request. I've asked around at work the opinion of others "So my wife and I will be married 10 years---what should I get her" Surprisingly I got responses from a box of chocolates, vacation, dinner and no ring responses. Of course I don't mind getting a gift for my wife---but now it just feels F##king awkward and to top it off our Wedding Anniversary is on Valentines day.

I don't think there is another an issue of trust or relationship issue--I will have to have one of those good old deep conversations.

F##K marriage is a lot of work some time......

[basilandthyme]

If you'd asked me what to buy for a 10year anniversary, I would have suggested an eternity ring. But a new ring - not a replacement for the engagement ring.

I also don't see that an eternity ring should be necessarily tied to prior gift giving. My hubby and I have never given anniversary gifts, but I did eventually get an eternity ring. Mind you, I did have to mention it to him after about 18 years! We bought it with a good bonus he got one year.