How many "Forever Alonone" happyendings do you know?

[pcmaster]

I'd like to get out more, but it's hard. I don't really have friends to hang out with, and there's just nothing I really want to go out and do by myself.

Imagine that you have a friend just like you - what would you want him to do to better his life?

[TwillightBrony]

michelle23, please, with all due respect to you, stop this flame. I hate to tell you but you neither understand nature of this problem nor those people and this topic wasnt ment to discuss such issues.

HDBadger, Indestructible: thank you for your opinions! You quite representate two different kinds of attitude toward this problem but I really wonder how it will change over the time! If I understand correctly you are both around 25 y.o.. I suppose several years ago you had quite different opinions and you will make your commitement decisions after another several years.


so one more time do you know or heard of person who is over 30, had lifelong relationship troubles and ended up well/bad? Most likely male, Involuntary celibate.

So far I havent found any research or study of such a people, very few attention is paid to them and all I have are only rumors usually from people who never experienced such a thing or only heard few stories (dont know where).

[michelle23]

michelle23, please, with all due respect to you, stop this flame. I hate to tell you but you neither understand nature of this problem nor those people and this topic wasnt ment to discuss such issues.

Can you please elaborate on that? Now I am just confused. Your cynical attitude does nothing to boost the confidence of men who have been unlucky. I know plenty of guys who have had a hard time finding a gf, who had very low self-esteem who are now in a happy loving relationship so I dont see your point

[HDBadger]

That ^^ is very cynical. Why havnt you tried to meet a good woman? Ya sometimes you do have to put up with crap or drama in a relationship but I bet your friends are happy and head over heels in love.

It's not cynical. It's realistic. The fact that my views don't align with yours doesn't make me a cynic. I'm not going to go tit for tat with this on you, because your opinion is of no consequence to me.

My life is great. It's complete. Having a woman in it would make it more stressful, less enjoyable, and, on the whole, worse. The only thing a woman can offer me that I don't already have is sex.

The OP asked about people who experienced being alone. I provided my perspective. Being alone isn't bad. From my POV, it's actually really good. But being in a less than stellar relationship (statistically, that's most of them), now *that* is bad.

[Indestructible]

Imagine that you have a friend just like you - what would you want him to do to better his life?

*shrug* I have no idea.

[TwillightBrony]

I know plenty of guys who have had a hard time finding a gf, who had very low self-esteem who are now in a happy loving relationship so I dont see your point

thank you! This is the information I am looking for! I just need to know more specific details abou them. Their age and a little more about their sexual life. Just more precise info. If you wish to help.

I uderstand I seems to be cynical and thats the point. I am doing research ( and believe me, its far more efficient than so called "sociology researches" ) and therefore I cant be more personal, even if I would like to. I understand feelings of those people and they know what they are talking about. No one is silly and if solution of such problem was so simple that can be solved by several comments it would be long over. Therefore your advices altough best ment arent that usefull as you might think.

here, have some fun

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETwZRr205Mo

[Love'sReject]

OP asks some really dumb questions and flips out over every answer he gets. **** it, I'm done with this guy.

[TwillightBrony]

no, I am not upset. I just manage my threads in order to get results. Please use other threads for OT. Thank you. (no, srsly, what more can I say about that?)

no, srsly. I would like to play with you but I cant now and here. In some other threads...

[Rowen]

Wow, someone needs to lighten up... >.>

[John Steed]

I have arrived at the conclusion, finally, and have become able to see lucidly, that if one considers the matter most clearly and distinctly, all this "love" and "relationship" issues are self imagined and self inflicted, not to mention how useless and resource consuming they are. What is the use thereof? It is nothing than an expression of a beastly, immature and subconscious instinct to reproduce. We give so much importance and heed thereto, spend so much time considering it in books, films, music , etc. but verily it has absolutely none of the value and the profoundness which we assign thereto, for it is merely a worldly instinct, just like eating or going to washroom, the only difference being that the former is accompanied with stronger mental distortions.
What would this ever give us? Nothing, it will only consume the time, which, otherwise, could be spent more productively and intellectually enrichingly. Relationshipism, as I shall call the ideology of allowing superfluous and positive importance to the ideas of "love" and "relationship", is destructive, for it consumes your resources, your human and intellectual potential, and when it succeeds or seems to soon succeed, it deludes you to believe that it has importance, that that, which is in fact nothing but unproductive and destructive waste of time, is somehow "good", "useful" or "valuable", it will permanently suck you in into a dream and a fantasy, which will eat and occupy you with itself, whilst you are wasting you precious lifespan. I would compare this to, say, alcohol or drugs (I never used neither myself, I must point out), when a person is under the effect thereof, he or she enjoys them and finds such valuable, useful and pleasant, but in fact, if you look objectively, those characteristics are most alien thereto.

Therefore, although a person may be deluded at times, there can be clearly and distinctly apprehended the superiority and the advantages of not having a "relationship" or being in "love". Just imagine, at least, how many books you would have read, and thus enriched and enlightened your personality, using the time you have wasted on useless conversations and concerns talking to other people, with whom you have nothing to do (well, I do not mean, of course, business partners). Or not relationships, but even consider mere friendship. Yes, it was useful in the times of instabilities, when everything depended on personal acquaintanceship and kinship. But in our modern age, it is of no use. Some people, I have observed, may converse over the telephone with friends or fiances for over half ah hour about completely useless and unimportant things, such as domestic or personal matters. If you would have had not entangled yourself into communicating with others for no reasons about nothing of significance, if you would combine all the wasted time, you would have perhaps been able to learn a forraigne tongue and read all of Goethe or Kant.
By the way, the most successful, productive and profound individuals, were never involved in this fancy, consider for instance John Locke, Kant, Nietzsche, Thomas Aquinas, Christian Anderson, Newton, etc. I must avow that I envy them, for they were able to decidedly say "no" to this notion of "love" or "relationship", detect its mendacity and falsehood, and preoccupy themselves with the more important subjects.
I was myself, until very recently, blinded by the delusions which the prospect of these notions provided, and, as in delirium, had written a number of post here, which reflected the distorted state of my mind at the time, and concerned myself with the questions of silliness and uselessness. Now after a certain event occurred, a certain matter was resolved, which cleared my mind, henceforth I shall clearly defend my position as claiming that in fact what may be negatively called "being alone" is a much superior state of an individual, than that, whereby a person is engrossed by the falsities and the delusions of "love" and "relationship".
I hence shall proclaim my complete disillusionment by, scorn and deprecation of these notions, and will adamantly henceforth resist any instinctual fomentations and inclinations towards these undecent, unworthy and time devouring ideas! Mere consideration thereof as possibly good or valuable is a sign of immaturity, whereas an independent and mature person can decidedly shake off these chains of the destructive fantasies inflicted by primitive instincts, and enjoy the enrichment of one's own mental life through the proper means of art, literature, music, philosophy, politics, etc.!
My duty is thus now to enlighten the others to chose the same path, and to comprehend the benefits thereof.

[Ann S]

I'm in the profession and twilightbrony, I don't understand a word you said. Your facts are wayyyyy outdated. Get a new book! Ann

[Ann S]

Why don't you go to a psych library and do the necessary research? Contact Tolman Hall at UC Berkeley! Ann

[TwillightBrony]

.....

heh! :)

first at all, nice English. It was really pleasure to read it. Thank you.

Well, to be honest, you would be perfactly correct and accurate if you didnt forget one basic thing: we all do for the sake of mating and survival! :) This is our basic instinct and reason why we managed to survive untill now! :) Every living being does the same. And most of our actions are so strongly motivated due to these 2 instincts. Well I personaly know few people who think just like you. They are very productive in thier own proffesions but very unsocial and difficult to get on with. Also they suffer with quite dangerous mental issues such as depressions etc. They have food, place to sleep they can spend as much time doing what they want as they like... But they suffer. Opposite: I know many people who care nothing about greater good but they are happy as butterfly. And personaly if I could choose one side. I think I would choose secod. Better to die dump but happy than help ..somebody...with something... but suffer eternal life. :)

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ok, I think I am starting to understand how this forum works.

Have you noticed how beautiful day is today? :) I think I go for a jogging to mountains. Which holiday activity do you prefer?

[John Steed]

They have food, place to sleep they can spend as much time doing what they want as they like... But they suffer.

But would you not say that their suffering is, in the case, subjectively self-inflicted and imagined? And that only a sufficient effort to understand that this suffering is not real, will automatically reduce it?
Are you, thus, implying, that it is better to suffer in reality and not to notice it, or, morevoer, to perceive real suffering as not suffering, but as pleasure, rather than to lead a truly good and happy life without real suffering, but at the same time to falsely imagine that you undergo suffering, which in fact takes no place?

Which holiday activity do you prefer?

Is it I who am being asked this by you?
I prefer reading and playing or writing music.