To hold a man a woman has to appeal to the worst in him.

[Starnique]

They're literary figures and philosophers.

Oh okay. Hmmm. Based off the info above, I highly doubt I would take into consideration what their saying. I dont care enough anyway.

[Wakeup]

I think it's just an over complicated way of saying that they would have to be compatible. Being a drunk herself would probably appeal to the worst in Fitz.

[Starnique]

I just don't get it. Appeal to the worst....


Compatible, well alright.

I asked my friend though and she is real good at analyzing things and She said that she doesn't agree and its better to appeal to a man's better qualities. Then you have a better chance, to get those qualities, from him.

[lovesick101]

Women needs man who loves her a lot and understands a little.

This is not me.

[Starnique]

I need understanding also. Especially me.

[Rowen]

Wilde was gay, and Fitzgerald was an alcoholic married to a crazy woman. I don't rely on their insights regarding women.

Fitzgerald wasn't exactly innocent in his marriage either... As I recall, it was both of them writing stories about the other with the intent to hurt. He was just as lost as she was.
However, don't you think that facing hurt makes you a good reference for love? If not, what are we doing here?

I need understanding also. Especially me.

I think that everyone needs at least some understanding about each other. Look at it this way... To all of you married folk on this site, you know what would hurt your partner, don't you? You know stories about them that will either embarrass them or make them laugh thinking back on it. And knowing things like that is understanding at least a part of their life and personality. Granted, we may never fully understand each other, as no one is an exact replica of the other's life. But, nevertheless, your relationship would fall apart if you didn't have some basic understanding about what being with them means. Maybe you don't always know *exactly* what to buy each other for your birthdays or maybe get the wrong kind of cheese when you bring them a sandwich for lunch. But, in the end, you understand your relationship with them because you know each other.


Also, I'm so glad someone on this forum made a Fitzgerald reference (One of my top two favorite books is The Great Gatsby). But anyway, back to the discussion... I think that you need to appeal to the good traits but also appeal to the bad traits-- just in a unique way. That way isn't supporting them being a cheater or supporting actions that will bring you harm, but it is being able to see that worst side come to the surface and still accept them as a human being and a lover during that time. Of course, there comes a point when appealing to that bad side is too much, like the number of people who come to this site wanting to break up with their spouses and relationship partners, so it really has to be balance. You need to accept the bad and recognize it as being present, appealing to them by being comforting even when that side surfaces, but you also need to be aware of your limit of imbalance you can take while appealing to the good in them.
I hope that made as much sense as it did in my head....running on less than two hours of sleep. :S

[Rowen]

This is not me.

How isn't it? What do you think it should be then?