How to make visits with BF more exciting

[Pietomb]

yes true it won't strengthen your relationship. Do you have random conversations? Just bring up random things and you talk, i'm sure he will eventually even if he's not that interested. Do you see each other every day? if so then it'll have to be random things, if not then tell eachother in detail about stuff you've done. Ermm... tried non sexual intimacy, like massage each other. Go for walks round your neighbourhood, it might be a dump (i think that's how you put it) but i'm sure just walking n talking or just walking is still alright. Do you have any common intrests like music? can he play an instrument you cant? perhaps get him to teach you, or teach him if u do and he doesnt. Pick a hobby, absolutely anything, and do it together.
That's all i can think of for now

[chocolateorange]

My boyfriend and I haven't been going out much and we've found lots of things to do together. How about choosing a TV show that neither of you have seen and start watching it from season one? Do either of you do anything creative, like painting or drawing - you could try to do those sorts of things together. I like Pietomb's idea about massages - it's a good way of being intimate with each other without the sexual intercourse. How about cooking together? You could choose a challenging dish and make it together. Do you guys read? Sometimes my boyfriend and I just sit around and read on the couch under blankets.

[SirWagginston]

Don't give him any more hand or blow jobs. If he gets frustrated enough to ask about it, tell him you don't want him to orgasm again unless it's inside your pussy. If he reacts to this by ceasing all sexual contact, you will become frustrated enough to realize that you should get some elsewhere.

[DarkNeko]

We don't see one another every day - sometimes we only see each other once a week, but we "talk" online every day. And I do say things that are potential conversation starters, but often times I get one-word answers from him since he's too busy playing games/watching TV...which is really all he does. Our tastes in music are mostly different, but we both like techno and once in a great while we can point each other to songs we think the other will like. I'm an artist and he's not too artistically inclined...I suppose I could try doing life drawings of him. And I say this next part with the most possible affection: he has no talents, like playing an instrument, martial arts skills (which are very interesting to me), chorus, acting...nothing. He was once interested for about ten minutes in hearing about automatic writing since his name came up when I was doing AW, but not enough to want to learn more.

One of the only things we ever do at his house is watch a show we both like...he has all the seasons and we often sit and watch that for a few hours. Cooking together is kind of pointless - the last time I suggested we cook together, he sat and watched me make everything and when I asked him if he'd like to help, he said he didn't (I was getting nauseous from handling raw chicken and kind of wanted a break). We've baked brownies before, though...that's usually fun - all five or ten minutes of the preparation. And I actually always used to ask him to tell me stories and he never did (once in a while, he will), so I quit asking him to as much...we both like to read, but he likes only fiction and I like only nonfiction. Massages and back rubs are good too; we haven't done that in a while. And we will likely be taking walks when the weather improves since I cannot stand to be out in the cold and I'll complain the whole time about freezing my ass off. I often bring several movies and sitcom DVDs with me that we might watch, and he often says he doesn't want to watch them; I try to find things I think he'll like, but I guess he just never is in the mood for the ones I manage to pick out. I wish it wasn't so hard trying to find a common ground between he and I.

Right now, the only hobbies we really share are playing video games, baking, coffee, and we like some of the same websites. I can't even remember the last time we had an in-depth random conversation that wasn't an argument. I'll try and spur him on a little bit as far as reading, maybe. I'd love to be able to just sit with him and we could read one another stories, or sit and chat about whatever comes to mind. We don't really do these things. I think I might try asking some of my and my BF's mutual friends what they do when they hang with their girlfriends to see what I'm doing wrong that's making me so bored.

But BF did get desperate, bit the bullet, and bought condoms. I was happy about that. But thanks for the ideas, Pietomb and chocolateorange. I'll see if I can get BF interested in some things so we aren't sitting on our asses for hours at a time being bored.

[dreamergirl]

This is so frustrating to read. You guys are clearly so incompatible, you are dissatisfied an bored, you really don't seem to like him and he sounds incredibly dull. Why are you even bothering? He does nothing to enhance your life it seems, nothing to inspire you or excite you... Why why why are you bothering??!!!

[SirWagginston]

I think I might try asking some of my and my BF's mutual friends what they do when they hang with their girlfriends to see what I'm doing wrong that's making me so bored.

You should try not to assume that you're doing something wrong. It's possible (and seems more likely, based on your posts) that your boyfriend is doing something wrong. If you really want the relationship to work, you have to convince your boyfriend to try to make it work. You won't succeed trying by yourself; it will take a combination of both of your efforts. If he's unwilling to do that, then you'll have to leave, because your dissatisfaction will continue indefinitely.

[DarkNeko]

I like him...hell, if I didn't like or love him, I wouldn't be with him in the first place. He can be fun to be around at times, but I admit he is dull sometimes too. I suppose I can be the same way now and then too. I still want to talk to my friends and see if they can offer any hints; one of them did offer to talk to my BF for me and see if he could give BF a metaphorical kick in the backside to get him to be more talkative with me. I may take him up on that offer.

I don't know, maybe it's just where we live and our limited transportation that are the problems. If I can convince him to move with me back to the city (which will be difficult), maybe we'll be happier there.

[Illusional]

speaking of which, if this guy can't even or won't even pay for condoms, what do you think is going to happen if you were to get pregnant??

raverboy

[DarkNeko]

He has no problem buying condoms when he has the money, but I think he wants to hold on to the little cash he has for an emergency. I hate being so stingy with my money, but I need to make my savings last as long as possible to repay my loans since I have no idea if or when I'll be able to find a job. And, luckily for my BF, I'm childfree and very pro-choice. So if I ever did get pregnant, I'd be at the nearest women's clinic faster than he could say 'rusty coat hanger'.

[QueenofCorona]

Abortions aren't free though. Better safe than stupid and sorry. Not judging your choice but come one now, if you can prevent an abortion, do so. Get on the Pill if necessary. Planned Parenthood usually works on a sliding fee scale based off your income, or lack there of.

[Illusional]

yup, i'm going go guess that one of those health clinics would charge about 500 for an abortion.

raverboy

[QueenofCorona]

Not to mention PP gives out free condoms like they're going out of style. When I'd gone there before I had insurance back in the day they would give me a bag everytime I went to get my Pill refilled.

[DarkNeko]

There used to be a PP right downtown where I live, but it closed down for some reason. Now the closest one is about 20 minutes away, so if I needed their services, either for abortion or free condoms, I'd have to give someone gas money to take me there since BF's parents don't allow him to take the car out of town. It's cheaper to get condoms downtown than what it'd cost for gas money, but obviously I'd spring the gas money if I needed to vacuum out my uterus. And trust me, I am as careful as I can be about my sex life. I have never ever had unprotected sex. I actually intend to get sterilized someday, but until that time, I'll go with condoms. I'm not too nuts about hormonal birth control because I'm horrible at remembering to take pills and some of the non-pill methods kind of scare me (Depo causing osteoporosis? No thanks). I do all I can to not have to spend $500 on an abortion, but if I still got pregnant despite how very careful I am, I'd sink that $500 in a split second. And if I didn't have that much money, I know of lots of vitamins and herbs that have abortifacent properties.

If I manage to get a job and my own vehicle, I wouldn't mind driving us around at all. I *could* drive BF's parent's car since I have a permit, but if they don't let him take Junker McClunker out of town, they certainly wouldn't let me. And it's because of their over-protection of that piece of shit car that makes BF unable to find a job, which would allow him to make the money to buy himself his own car. So, I indirectly blame his parents for our boredom.