Making time vs having time, your definition

[MarsBars23]

No need to make this so complicated. I think you just want to know if a girl loves you, would she put away everything in her life for you? Is that the question? My answer is that it depends on what you mean by love. Unconditional love or love provided by a sane person? I don't believe in unconditional love. Of course, she would put ahead of things that is important for her survival ahead of you or for people who she consider to be more important than you (yes, there are people in her life who may be more important than you). If she is smart girl, she would choose to study that test so she has a future. If she is a good person, she would choose her family (who probably sacrifice for her more than you ever did for her). You have to make a prudent judgment. If she has good reasons why she isn't giving you more attention, then you have to stop whining like a spoiled brat and consider things in her shoes.

This isn't about me. What I'm saying is this:

1. She said that she thinks of a boyfriend/husband/children as people she always have time for, everything else are things she makes time for, that includes family, friends, work and school.. For example, if there's a test/work/etc, she would put that off to a later time (if it is possible) if the boyfriend/husband/children need something at that moment because she always have time for them... However, at some point she has to do the work, school, family, friends thing, but they come second to the boyfriend/husband/children... She would do that as soon as the needs of the boyfriend/husband/children are met or if she HAD to do it at that moment.

2. Now,BY HER LOGIC, NOT MINE, where I see the problem with that argument is that if she's on the phone with that guy and her FRIENDS, not family, are speaking with her, she would engage in conversation with them and put that guy on the back burner. This is the reason why I think that she does not "HAVE TIME" for this person, but she actually "SHARES TIME" and sometimes make time for that person, by her logic, not mine.

3. Now I made this thread to ask people why do they think about the "making time" vs "having time" for a boyfriend/husband/children because I didn't see much of a difference between the two. It just sounded confusing to me...

Now, let me reiterate, SHE THINKS that having time for a person is putting EVERYTHING second for the person/s who she loves UNLESS it was mandatory, you know, something she MUST do at some point. And I think her argument is hypocritical because of her actions, and I think the statement itself is invalid because it does not make much sense to me... This has nothing to do with me, and I'm not whining. I just wanted to know what people thought of the "making" vs "having" time argument.

Also, fyi, I do believe in unconditional love because I know for a fact that I would love my children, family, and best friend unconditionally. And I can't think of anyone who's a good person who would disagree with that... Now with boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses, I wouldn't know about that.

[sadie_genie]

This isn't about me. What I'm saying is this:

1. She said that she thinks of a boyfriend/husband/children as people she always have time for, everything else are things she makes time for, that includes family, friends, work and school.. For example, if there's a test/work/etc, she would put that off to a later time (if it is possible) if the boyfriend/husband/children need something at that moment because she always have time for them... However, at some point she has to do the work, school, family, friends thing, but they come second to the boyfriend/husband/children... She would do that as soon as the needs of the boyfriend/husband/children are met or if she HAD to do it at that moment.

2. Now,BY HER LOGIC, NOT MINE, where I see the problem with that argument is that if she's on the phone with that guy and her FRIENDS, not family, are speaking with her, she would engage in conversation with them and put that guy on the back burner. This is the reason why I think that she does not "HAVE TIME" for this person, but she actually "SHARES TIME" and sometimes make time for that person, by her logic, not mine.

3. Now I made this thread to ask people why do they think about the "making time" vs "having time" for a boyfriend/husband/children because I didn't see much of a difference between the two. It just sounded confusing to me...

Now, let me reiterate, SHE THINKS that having time for a person is putting EVERYTHING second for the person/s who she loves UNLESS it was mandatory, you know, something she MUST do at some point. And I think her argument is hypocritical because of her actions, and I think the statement itself is invalid because it does not make much sense to me... This has nothing to do with me, and I'm not whining. I just wanted to know what people thought of the "making" vs "having" time argument.

Also, fyi, I do believe in unconditional love because I know for a fact that I would love my children, family, and best friend unconditionally. And I can't think of anyone who's a good person who would disagree with that... Now with boyfriends/girlfriends and spouses, I wouldn't know about that.

So, basically, she has promised you that she would put you ahead of her friends yet her actions doesn't show it? First of all, are you married to her? Unless she is married to you therefore her family would now include you, her, and your children, I don't see why she would make such a promise to put you ahead of everyone else.

But if you are married to her therefore there is a good reason she is putting you and the family she has with you as first priority, I still don't think a phone call (with her talking to her family while she is on the phone with you) is anything to fuss about. Ok, it is a bit disrespectful to talk to someone else while she is on the phone with you but she could be doing something important. Some people don't think it is a big deal and she probably didn't even know it bothers you. So, just tell her you feel disrespected when she does that.

Btw, a good person is a person with principles therefore would put principles (fairness, nobility, justice, etc) ahead of personal bias and yes, sometimes even love.

[IGemini]

I understand her definition. And I agree with it. The problem as you pointed out, for her and anyone else, it's much easier said than done.

[SelflessnHumble]

But my question was really about "making time vs having time," I don't really understand the difference... I think they're one in the same...

Making time: Cutting corners here and there so the minutes add up in order to give a (lesser prioritized) *noun* (not of the highest priority) the time it may require.

It's like wanting and needing...Same thing.
When you need something (work to pay the bills) it's NOT the same as:
Working to buy that Nintendo Wii you want for yourself (want)

Necessity (or)
Optional...

Having time: Calculating time based on (in order of highest priority to lowest) giving EACH and every
*noun* its NEEDED (not wanted) time in order to satisfy, complete or give it the attention it requires.

The point is dude: Making time is called: Time management, however it should be noted that when you
"make" time you don't necessarily *HAVE* the time in order to make it (the noun) -------> happen...See the difference?

When you have time: you don't need to make time. It isn't the same thing, not even close.
I hope this helps you. The fact is: *I* think she doesn't want to make time for you in a way you find
satisfactory....but YOU see her making time for others and THIS is what bothers you the most. Right?



But the woman thinks there is a difference, which I don't think there is, and actually in my opinion, it seems more like she shares time with her boyfriend/husband, not make/have time for him... Let me reiterate, I just wanted to know why you think she's right about the "making time vs. having time," not why she adheres to her very own rules and her treatment of her boyfriend/husband. I just used the treatment of her boyfriend/husband as an example that she disproves the very thing she is proclaiming, but I guess I should rephrase the question...[/QUOTE]