No Sex Till Marriage

[sookie6]

OP, I don't want to judge you or your religious beliefs but you need to leave God in the background and take a more realistic approach to life and your decisions. What I see in you is what sometimes happen to people who are afraid of life and afraid to take control of their decisions. They throw themselves into religion and or anything else that will give them a sense of direction...anyway your issue is not sex after or before marriage (this is not a major factor in determining the long term potential of a relationsip...at the most having sex before marriage could help check physical compatibility which is paramount in a relationship...religious people argue not but Nature or God created us this way, with more or less compatibility depending on the partner...)..

Anyway I'd say you're not happy with this guy (how can he have 3 kids already? and how could he afford a second family if you one day decided to have kids too...is he a millionnaire? So you see, you need to think about all those things before wondering about such trivial issues as a virginity vow before marriage...Believing in yourself is gonna help you more than beliveing in God so it's fine to have a faith but do not forget that you are in control, you decide to be happy, you decided what is right for you, you keep the power. If this guy is only good for one thing: sex then enjoy it with him, take the pill and remain independent. But I can't see a happy marriage for you two.

[Boisdevie]

I love this thread - it's like watching a train wreck in slow motion.
And makes even me seem normal.

Good luck and make sure you have lots of valium handy - you're going to need it.

[VincenzoG91]

Well, the thing is she has already suggested abstaining and he didn't want to, so she has the power and he doesn't seem too pleased. It will test his love and make the relationship stronger. Keep withholding it from him.

What power? He's a cheater. If he can't have sex with her, he will have sex with someone else. The only power that she has is to end this pointless relationship and find someone who shares her values.

[sookie6]

Sex is no blackmailing tool...when are women going to understand that! Withdrawing from sex because of arguments or disagreements is understandable but to use sex to obtain things is a dangerous game.

[Paradox]

This is so funny, what a bunch of religious claptrap, if I had a women like you, no offense, but I would not be able to handle not being able to consumate my love with my girlfriend. You'r doing yourself a big injustice by going abstinent and your socalled thrustworthy boyfriend will not keep waiting for you to wash away your nymfomaniacal sins

[Take2]

This is so funny, what a bunch of religious claptrap, if I had a women like you, no offense, but I would not be able to handle not being able to consumate my love with my girlfriend. You'r doing yourself a big injustice by going abstinent and your socalled thrustworthy boyfriend will not keep waiting for you to wash away your nymfomaniacal sins

That's ridiculous. I mean, I don't hold religious beliefs that preclude premarital sex, but there is no reason to demean people for holding such beliefs. That belief is not hurting anyone. I mean, nobody is forced to agree to such a demand, there are plenty of potential mates who will have premarital sex. And really, that belief comes with a whole set of beliefs such that really it isn't likely that one person who believes strongly and one who doesn't will be a good match anyway. Most people I know who feel that way just meet their mates at the enormous evangelicl churches in the area. They are all set up for it, with singles groups and activities and everything. No skin off my nose, I go elsewhere to find my dates and we are all happy.

[smackie9]

Believing in God stops no one from breaking the rules....I say most fall off the wagon more than us non practising Christians and are more hypocritical. You newbie Christians use religion as a crutch because you know you've can't control the crap that goes on in your lives. Forgiving and praying don't make the problems go away. They need to be dealt with accordingly. You need to be more worried about the infidelity that has happened in your relationship, and actually discover why it happened, and work on a proper solution to prevent it. "I'm sorry I won't do it again I love you" will not cut it.

You have drastically changed your relationship expectations and I think seriously you are kidding yourself he's gonna go for it. I don't think it's fair to him when you already had an existing sex life. It would be different if you two just met. You would see there is no compatibility.

[Take2]

You have drastically changed your relationship expectations and I think seriously you are kidding yourself he's gonna go for it. I don't think it's fair to him when you already had an existing sex life. It would be different if you two just met. You would see there is no compatibility.

This, I agree with 100%. A relationship probably needs to start out with the expectation of waiting until marriage for sex or not have that expectation at all. To impose that rule after having sex 3 times a week for months on end is not likely to have a happy ending for anyone.

[red_sparrow]

Ok I am 21 and my boyfriend is 25. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage. I am not a virgin either and we have been dating for 2.5 years. So we do have sex regularly. He promised me he would ask me to marry him and have a wedding around Spring of 2011. After that promise he slept with my best friend in October. I broke up with him after finding out... but about a month later we got back together and I forgave him. He still says he wants to marry me, that he loves me, and what he did was really wrong. However... I have been wanting to get closer to Christ and I am a Christian but never really followed the rules of purity before marriage. I want to take a vow of purity until we get married. To be closer to Christ and to also make sure this relationship is not just based on sex. He seems to be very upset about this, as we regularly have sex 3-4 times a week. He now thinks im hiding something and he feels like it is out of the blue for me to do this sorta thing because I am kinda a nimfo. He just don't seem to understand that I want to confess my sins and take this vow, try to do right, and follow the rules and be closer to God. Because no matter what, in the end, God is the one who I will have to answer to. Yes, I realize this is going to be very tough, and him getting upset might make me say "screw the whole idea".... but its important to me. Usually he turns me down for sex, he has that power, always has. Now its like he don't know what to do, because that power is being taken away from him, and I am now turning HIM down. How do I help him understand?? What should I do?

LOL WOWWW
3-4 times a week? is something wrong with the sex? I say do it while you can..