Almost cheated, but I didn't...gf still thinks so

[Maple1714]

How is it mean? It's just saying that hey, these are the facts, and if you don't want to believe me, then fine, I'll just move on. It's just more graphic in order to force a decision, rather than let her string him along and make him jump through hoops. It's called having balls. Most women respect it too.

You know what I would say to that little comment? I would say cool go **** other women...and I will go **** other men. I guess it does force a decision.

No man has ever said anything remotely like that to me b/c they would KNOW I would say **** off then....and they wouldn't want that

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Guess you were responding before I made my edit to the post. Other than shock value, it will show how serious he is, and help force a decision, rather than let her pussyfoot around and enjoy the power she has over him and the relationship now. And yes, I used the term pussyfoot.

Maple, I know you're a tough cookie, but that's not gonna stop me from giving you shit. You really should worry less about peoples feelings though, and just give it to them raw. Speeds up the process, and usually has no affect on the final outcome.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You know what I would say to that little comment? I would say cool go **** other women...and I will go **** other men. I guess it does force a decision.

No man has ever said anything remotely like that to me b/c they would KNOW I would say **** off then....and they wouldn't want that

You probably also would be gone the second you found the condoms and he lied about it too. My tactic will work on women like the one the OP is dealing with. The type that take situations like this, and use them for control, rather than just ending the relationship.

[bayarea10]

Man...thanks everyone. It's so crazy to think to yourself, how could I have ever put myself in that position.

[QUOTE=HeartIsAching;835936]You can't. I had a GF that was SURE I'd cheated on her with her best friend, and I hadn't. Years later we ran into each other and it came up in conversation. Told her "No, I never slept with Sabrina. Wanted to, SHE wanted me to, but I didn't." She still didn't believe me, not even after the "Why would I lie to you now?" speech.QUOTE]

How long were you guys together? Why'd she speculate and how'd u handle it?


Thanks for the suggestion BackUpOrGetStng lol, but i still do care and wouldn't wanna hurt her even more. Especially with the timing

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Well then, enjoy your deserved misery, and please keep us updated.

[HeartIsAching]

[QUOTE=bayarea10;835950]Man...thanks everyone. It's so crazy to think to yourself, how could I have ever put myself in that position.

You can't. I had a GF that was SURE I'd cheated on her with her best friend, and I hadn't. Years later we ran into each other and it came up in conversation. Told her "No, I never slept with Sabrina. Wanted to, SHE wanted me to, but I didn't." She still didn't believe me, not even after the "Why would I lie to you now?" speech.QUOTE]



Thanks for the suggestion BackUpOrGetStng lol, but i still do care and wouldn't wanna hurt her even more. Especially with the timing

Don't really remember... a year maybe. Was in high school 20+ years ago.

She speculated because she knew Sabrina really liked me, and we'd been alone together. Sabrina tried, I was VERY tempted, but ultimately chose my GF.

[smackie9]

Two years of rockiness? You decided to try and cheat because deep down you want out of this relationship. You only stopped yourself only because you had some moral back bone, not to save your relationship. The cat is out of the bag now, take responsability for your actions, and just break up with her. She will never let you live this down anyways, and things are only going to get worse. Just be done with it.

[Maple1714]

Guess you were responding before I made my edit to the post. Other than shock value, it will show how serious he is, and help force a decision, rather than let her pussyfoot around and enjoy the power she has over him and the relationship now. And yes, I used the term pussyfoot.

Maple, I know you're a tough cookie, but that's not gonna stop me from giving you shit. You really should worry less about peoples feelings though, and just give it to them raw. Speeds up the process, and usually has no affect on the final outcome.

Hahaha pussyfoot...I'm gonna use that term today somehow...lol. Well, maybe you have a point about worrying about peoples feelings so much. I will think about that one. Yes, I would have dumped his ass after I saw the box of condoms and knew my BF was lying...BUT I would never have let the relationship get to that point in the first place...there are always sings. The OP and his GF are young. I assume they have only been with each other sexually since they were 16 when they got together.

OP - it's time to move on.

[bayarea10]

True...i mean this is our first real relationship.we're both 2nd partners sexually..and i'm just afraid of what we'll have to go through. i do wish it never got to this point. i dont want an ugly ending or to have her leave with bitter feelings towards me. we all have the same friends and our families were close. i know with something like, time will heal. but easier said than done. was hoping i wouldn't have to go through it. the cards life deals ya sometimes...

[Maple1714]

True...i mean this is our first real relationship.we're both 2nd partners sexually..and i'm just afraid of what we'll have to go through. i do wish it never got to this point. i dont want an ugly ending or to have her leave with bitter feelings towards me. we all have the same friends and our families were close. i know with something like, time will heal. but easier said than done. was hoping i wouldn't have to go through it. the cards life deals ya sometimes...

Everyone goes through it...trust me (except for my boss who married his first GF when he was 19!) Someone is always hurt after a break-up...it's better to face the music now. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks. You have to put yourself first.

[bayarea10]

Two years of rockiness? You decided to try and cheat because deep down you want out of this relationship. You only stopped yourself because you had some moral back bone, not to save your relationship. The cat is out of the bag now, take responsability for your actions, and just break up with her. She will never let you live this down anyways, and things are only going to get worse. Just be done with it.

Well it was more so i thought i wanted out, i stopped myself realizing this isn't what i want...i wanted her. actually, the idea of our first couple years is what i want back. which is why it's hard for me to let go because i keep giving myself hope that one day we'd be back to how we were.

[Maple1714]

Well it was more so i thought i wanted out, i stopped myself realizing this isn't what i want...i wanted her. actually, the idea of our first couple years is what i want back. which is why it's hard for me to let go because i keep giving myself hope that one day we'd be back to how we were.

You can always try....talk to her about EVERYTHING you are feeling and thinking about and then you both will need to try to get back on track with your relationship. If you feel in your heart that you want to try again...then do it. But please open up to her about what your feeling...that's the only way to keep moving forward with her.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Smackie was right. Two of the four years you've been together have been 'rocky'. I'm no mathematician(actually, I am), but if my calculations are correct, that's half of the relationship. You say that she doesn't even want to have sex with you anymore. Not saying that cheating is right or that it's her fault, but she is definitely a contributor to your near-cheating, and it probably was cheating, just not sex. Did you kiss the other girl? Get head from her? Fondle her tits? Stick your finger in her booty? I'm pretty sure you weren't just sitting in the car talking to the other girl about hooking up.

Your relationship was ****ed long before this situation. This situation is only a symptom of the real problem.

[bayarea10]

should i give it a little more time before i talk to her? give her time to calm down?

no we were just talking at the bar, then left to her place...but when i got there is when i realized i didn't want it.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Either way, you relationship is shit, and has been for a while. Just tell your girl that while you know you didn't do anything with that girl, the fact that you even considered it means that there is something really wrong with the relationship and it's probably best to end things and not contact each other anymore. I can almost guarantee she won't want to end things, but I think you really should start moving on rather than continue this toxic relationship.