Leaving my wife.. need help (serious only please)

[MovingOn]

"Committed" people usually try to repair things before throwing in the towel.

Ok let me get this straight. So you think that I should stay in the relationship, even though it is a horrible relationship, with no love life, where all we do is bicker and grow resentment, and when I don't even love her?

I hate to break it to you, but that has nothing to do with commitment. You can be totally committed, but if it stops working, you are completely unhappy, and there is no reason to continue, why would one stay?

Honestly, please try and explain your position because it makes no sense to me. (I hope I didn't make any spelling errors this time)

[whaywardj]

Also, occasionally, a smart ass.

[shh!]

Also, occasionally, a smart ass.

You know you love it!

[shh!]

Ok let me get this straight. So you think that I should stay in the relationship, even though it is a horrible relationship, with no love life, where all we do is bicker and grow resentment, and when I don't even love her?

I hate to break it to you, but that has nothing to do with commitment. You can be totally committed, but if it stops working, you are completely unhappy, and there is no reason to continue, why would one stay?

Honestly, please try and explain your position because it makes no sense to me. (I hope I didn't make any spelling errors this time)

I have already said it twice, but I guess it bears repeating. You should MOVE ON. This relationship will obviously not work since you already have one foot out the door and have deemed it (the relationship) not important enough to attempt salvaging. Believe it or not, though, people sometimes try to exhaust all of their options in an attempt to repair that which is broken BEFORE deciding to call it quits, and the only reason they have for continuing on in spite of their lack of happiness is that they are MARRIED.

[whaywardj]

Kind of goes back to earlier threads about the actual role of marriage in contemporary society, doesn't it? Somehow, that "for better of worse" part gets lost in the translation of living the marriage.

[shh!]

By the way - the advice to find a new job is really pretty obvious. You don't really expect things to be peachy between you and her daddy when he finds out what you are up to, do you? And can you blame the guy?

[shh!]

Kind of goes back to earlier threads about the actual role of marriage in contemporary society, doesn't it? Somehow, that "for better of worse" part gets lost in the translation of living the marriage.

Really, I don't know why people even bother anymore. Those words are apparently meaningless. It must be simply for the sake of tradition.

[MovingOn]

By the way - the advice to find a new job is really pretty obvious. You don't really expect things to be peachy between you and her daddy when he finds out what you are up to, do you? And can you blame the guy?

The relationship has nothing to do with my job. If he is unhappy about it, so be it. It might make things very uncomfortable for a while as we have to interact... but why would I have to get a new job? I'm sorry, but you just don't make any sense.

[shh!]

Wow - you really are one self-centered S.O.B...

[MovingOn]

and the only reason they have for continuing on in spite of their lack of happiness is that they are MARRIED.

Right back to my other question, which is that you think people should stay together even if they are completely unhappy and don't love each other? JUST because they are married? That seems absurd to me.

We HAVE worked on a lot of things. We talk all the time. We talk about our problems, our bickering, our disastrous love life, the fact that we don't even get along anymore, and then things improve for a day, maybe two, and it goes right back. If I don't love her, I am not going to hang around wasting my life AND hers just because we signed a piece of paper. Id rather we both be happy in our own directions.

I wasn't asking if I should or shouldn't, I was asking for help on things I should look out for, timing, how to break it to her, etc. I didn't need to be told to quit my job and get a vasectomy. Your initial reply was tacky and uncalled for. Thanks anyway.

[MovingOn]

Wow - you really are one self-centered S.O.B...

What are you talking about? You can't even hold an intelligent conversation; all you can do is throw around names. I feel sorry for you.

[whaywardj]

A study in WhiteDragon's opposite. If he hadn't immediately alienated people with his uncalled for scatalogical aspersions, he might have known what I meant by saying that.

[shh!]

The more you blab, the more certain I am that my intuition hit a bullseye. Do her a favor, and leave soon.

[whaywardj]

On the other hand, Oscar Wilde pointed out that women have a wonderful sense about things. They can discover everything but the obvious.

[MovingOn]

Well thanks for the "help". I guess this is the wrong place to discuss such a topic. Or maybe I opened your eyes to the problems you have in your own marriage, realized it could happen to you, and you didnt like it, so you decided to take it out on me. .. Good luck to you anyway. I'm sorry if I said anything that upset you. It was never my intention.