Is this creepy to men?

[pcmaster]

Yeah it's weird that you still think about him. Either it's been long time since you been loved or went somewhere wrong and that made it slower to move on. Anyway if you hit him up then go straight to the point. Like say you want to meet again. Right now he have no idea what you think, how you feel and what you want. So at least tell him what you want from him.

[GLYC]

The problem is, you tried to reconnect and he didn't want to. That's my only issue with reaching out again since I feel that you made it pretty obvious that you wanted to see him again, and it seemed like he didn't want to.

Is it creepy? No.
But, I do believe in having self-respect. Which, if after reaching out somebody blows you off. F em'

Do as you please.
Personally, I think if he would have changed his mind he would have contacted you unfortunately.

I always like being direct and straight to the point, but I'm also a man. My favorite line for reconnecting is basically, "I would really like to see you again, let me know if you ever feel the same", or some variance.

Sometimes people don't want to reconnect again, ever, but that's the flavor of life.

[omgtotallyxo]

The problem is, you tried to reconnect and he didn't want to. That's my only issue with reaching out again since I feel that you made it pretty obvious that you wanted to see him again, and it seemed like he didn't want to.

Is it creepy? No.
But, I do believe in having self-respect. Which, if after reaching out somebody blows you off. F em'

Do as you please.
Personally, I think if he would have changed his mind he would have contacted you unfortunately.

I always like being direct and straight to the point, but I'm also a man. My favorite line for reconnecting is basically, "I would really like to see you again, let me know if you ever feel the same", or some variance.

Sometimes people don't want to reconnect again, ever, but that's the flavor of life.

You got straight to a central issue I am also struggling with. I wanted to reconnect back then but he didn't want to and still seemed upset. So, out of self-respect, I just let it the way it was. But unfortunately for me, the thought of him wouldn't leave me. I just felt there was something special there and it would have been unfortunate if we didn't get to explore that.

- - - Updated - - -

Yeah it's weird that you still think about him. Either it's been long time since you been loved or went somewhere wrong and that made it slower to move on. Anyway if you hit him up then go straight to the point. Like say you want to meet again. Right now he have no idea what you think, how you feel and what you want. So at least tell him what you want from him.

I haven't been dating for awhile now because my social life took a hit after I entered into a new profession that took a lot of my time. I think you have a point there that not dating might have made the recovery slower. I think I should get out there and date around before considering again whether I want to try again to reconnect with him.

It's hard for me to find someone who I am actually really excited about.

[pcmaster]

It's hard for me to find someone who I am actually really excited about.

Arent Im exciting? Cmon girl, look around. Im sure theres few cool guys in your town.

[omgtotallyxo]

I wouldn't find it creepy at all. If I were him, I'd make you my side-chick.

He wouldn't even give me that chance to be the side chick. I'm kind of mad.

- - - Updated - - -

Arent Im exciting? Cmon girl, look around. Im sure theres few cool guys in your town.

I'm in the legal profession and men are either taken, has a pot belly, or 5'3. lol. And then for the rest of guys, I'm not even impressed by, most of the time.

[pcmaster]

LOL thats funny. So as I understand you are too picky to hit up taken 5'3 guy with pot belly? And you are even less impressed by other guys lol.

I been living like 12 years without dating and then I got lucky on local dating site. So perhaps theres popular dating sites where you live, like okcupid, zoosk or even dating app like tinder or badoo. I know everyone thinks that tinder is for hookups but I been pretty lucky to go on several first to third dates with tinder cause in my country most people use it for dating and more girls write on their profiles that they dont want sex while very few are interested in just that.

Anyway problem is that even if you live in a city you live like in small town cause theres circle of people you meet and or interact every day what is much smaller number than actual possibilities. For example you live in 100k big city but interact only with 10-20 people on regular basis. Thats where internet and dating sites comes in handy cause they expand possibilities and two completely different people can meet each other what would be impossible in real life. Except of course if you talk with strangers on a street or public places. Sure you wont meet best guys on dating sites but then again sometimes you just get lucky.

[omgtotallyxo]

How did you survive for 12 years without dating anyone? Don't you crave sex/intimacy? I would be go mad if I had to go on for 12 years like that.

I have done online dating before and I might have been on like 20+ dates from that. I didn't meet anyone I really liked, don't remember most of their names, and some people on there are weird. I was harassed by guys on there for sex. Its like, "dude, I told you like for the 30th time, no" and he was still asking. I had to block. And there was this one weird guy who found out my mailing address and sent me "The Notebook". I was a bit scared when I received a strange package in the mail from him and almost had a heart attack that it might be explosives or like worn panties or something.

I prefer to meet someone organically because its easier to build chemistry that way. For online dating, it's a numbers game and I felt like I was just trying to check off a list of qualities I look for in a mate. I am a romantic at heart and I hope I will meet my significant other through an unexpected event.

But I have no choice but to use online dating again as a way to meet singles.

[EmoBobSwagPants]

[QUOTE=omgtotallyxo;1050916]"How did you survive for 12 years without dating anyone? Don't you crave sex/intimacy? I would be go mad if I had to go on for 12 years like that."

Hopefully you wouldn't kill yourself. I'm 21 going on 22 and I've went MY WHOLE LIFE without sex and intimacy, though I came close a few times. Never had my first kiss either. Determination is how people deal with years of loneliness.

[GLYC]

You got straight to a central issue I am also struggling with. I wanted to reconnect back then but he didn't want to and still seemed upset. So, out of self-respect, I just let it the way it was. But unfortunately for me, the thought of him wouldn't leave me. I just felt there was something special there and it would have been unfortunate if we didn't get to explore that.

- - - Updated - - -



I haven't been dating for awhile now because my social life took a hit after I entered into a new profession that took a lot of my time. I think you have a point there that not dating might have made the recovery slower. I think I should get out there and date around before considering again whether I want to try again to reconnect with him.

It's hard for me to find someone who I am actually really excited about.

I understand, I've been in this same position.
The thing is, you have to be in a very strong mindset.

I, actually somewhat recently, within the last year, underwent something similar. Great date, great connection for me, chemistry doesn't come along everyday either. I'm also not interested in most women.

However, after taking somewhat of a blow to my self esteem after the initial rejection, I sent a message 4 months later, saying an apology and for that person to contact me again if they ever wanted to rekindle things because that's what I would love to do. And also some other things, which, in all honesty, I probably stuck my foot in my mouth a bit there. But oh well. I did mean what I said.

I didn't get a response at all. My self esteem actually diminished again, and it became difficult again to keep at things that were important to me, being healthy, staying really motivated in life. My positivity kept okay, but I could feel some of it slipping at times.

I think those things can repeat themselves. However, it really is a test of ones true level of confidence.
Because without it, you can spiral back down. Which for me, was a reality check into my own self confidence and self image. Which, the benefit is that you can now start to see your own flaws, and work towards becoming the type of person that won't stay brought down.

I've definitely faced plenty of rejection, but none of it ever really affects me like when you're rejected by someone where things at first seemed really great, there was awesome chemistry and you thought to yourself "This is the type of person ive always been waiting for"


I would say don't do it, but, it's also your life. And your decision.
Speak your truth without fear and move on, if that's what you wish to do.

[Hooo!]

So by not asking him out you do your ego a favour because he can’t say no

In effect he is saying no as long as you don’t do something about it

[pcmaster]

Bottom line is Don't be afraid to fail.

[TheEvilJester]

It seems like you have received some great responses already, so I guess maybe I am just white noise at this point. LOL! But, I felt compelled to put my two cents in as well.

It is all about HOW you approach it. I may be the wrong person to ask about creepy since I don't get creeped out.... However, if you hadn't connected in any way for YEARS... and then you suddenly reached out telling him you were crazy about him and you two should get back together and all that.... sure that might seem pretty creepy. Don't misunderstand me. It is NOT creepy that you still have a crush on him/have a crush on him again. That can happen. Maybe you started thinking about him and felt like there was potential that you never got to explore. That he could have been something great, but you two never really got the chance to find out.

So, keep in mind that you are really more so crushing on an IDEA. On the idea of who he MIGHT be if you got to know him better. And, that's okay. That's usually what a crush is, really. BUT, the important distinction is you need to be able to realize that yourself and act on it accordingly. It's okay to have a crush and to sort of think in your own mind that somebody COULD be really amazing... but you shouldn't act on it as though they ARE amazing, because you don't really know them well enough yet to know.

So, my personal suggestion (if you haven't already tried) would be to reach back out to him... but keep it casual. You can even ask him out if you want. Nothing wrong with that. Heck, you can even say something like "I'd been thinking about us and figured maybe I should have given it more of a chance. So, if you'd be interested I'd love to go out some time." But, I would NOT recommend you tell him you are crazy about him, or you can't stop thinking about him, or anything quite like that.

Good luck to you either way.