fiance Broke off engagement

[Petit Papillon]

OP,try next time to not post the same thread in few forums. One is enough.

[peepster]

yeah sorry about that didnt know where to post it but thanks Petit Papillon I hope its just cold feet as well

[gigigi4]

@peepster- yes what you're experiencing is also like a huge break of trust from her...i hope, since this is what you want, that if you leave her to herself for a while she will come back to you, but at the same time, it's hard to trust someone again after they do something like that to you...

[Kaius]

A number of reasons exist, and you must notice something in the last 6 months....or since you have been engaged:

1) If she is too young, she may not be ready to get married.
2) If she is interested in someone else, she will not want to get married.
3) If she has a goal that will be hindered by marriage and/or kids, she will not want to get married now.
4) If she is outgrowing her feelings towards you, she will not want to marry you.
5) If either of you have changed drastically over the years, she may realize it now and doesn't want to marry.

[peepster]

She is 22 and I am 25 that maybe too young for her but she has told me that all she ever wanted is to be married to me and that was just at Christmas.
I know she not interested in anyone else I know that
She has no goals I don't thnk that would hinder it
She could be outgrowing her feelings
I did chug this past year I became depressed because I was unemployed until sept and currently hate my job so I guess that could be it but I would thnk she would be there for me and understand but she did get on me about not trying to find work but I sent resumes like crazy and I told her that

[Kaius]

She is 22 and I am 25 that maybe too young for her but she has told me that all she ever wanted is to be married to me and that was just at Christmas.
I know she not interested in anyone else I know that
She has no goals I don't thnk that would hinder it
She could be outgrowing her feelings
I did chug this past year I became depressed because I was unemployed until sept and currently hate my job so I guess that could be it but I would thnk she would be there for me and understand but she did get on me about not trying to find work but I sent resumes like crazy and I told her that

You seriously don't think she has any dreams or goals that she wants to reach before settling down?
You don't think she wants to marry when both of you are financially more stable?
These days, 22 is WAY TOO YOUNG to be married, since you will find out 10 years later that you're not the same person as you were in your early 20s.
I totally advocate marriage no earlier than 28 - 30. There is much growing up to do in your 20s. What's the hurry?

[twinrexes]

If you gave her so much attention she'll miss it when it's gone. Unless it was so much it was suffocating, but doesn't sound like it. She might have felt that things were a little TOO easy between the two of you? You know that dysfunctional thing people do where they chase after someone who plays hard to get because they love the challenge? Or they feel they're not quite worthy of all that attention? And of course, if she has single friends who are having all kinds of "fun" doing exactly that, she thinks she's missing out on something?

Leave her alone and let her find out. It's probably not going to be as great on her own as she thinks, but give her a chance to miss you. And if she does decide she wants to be together, maybe you need to give her a little less attention and a little more space in the relationship.

[peepster]

Twinrexes thanks for the comments that helped me alot thanks

[peepster]

You seriously don't think she has any dreams or goals that she wants to reach before settling down?
You don't think she wants to marry when both of you are financially more stable?
These days, 22 is WAY TOO YOUNG to be married, since you will find out 10 years later that you're not the same person as you were in your early 20s.
I totally advocate marriage no earlier than 28 - 30. There is much growing up to do in your 20s. What's the hurry?

Sure she might have dreams or goals that i dont know about, but those goals should be attainable if we were married.
And sure 22 might be too young and i realize that now but this is what she wanted or led me to believe she wanted so I dove into it. Never thinking something like this would happen

[Kaius]

Sure she might have dreams or goals that i dont know about, but those goals should be attainable if we were married.
And sure 22 might be too young and i realize that now but this is what she wanted or led me to believe she wanted so I dove into it. Never thinking something like this would happen

Think of it this way... she will be a different person by the time she is 32 than what she is right now. People, in general, don't really have a mature perspective emotionally or practically until late 20s / early 30s. That's why marriages often fail when people marry too young. I tell you that from experience. I was 23 when I got married, and stuck around for 12 painful years. I am a totally different person now than I was back then, and there is no way I would encourage people to settle down before they are fully evolved. It's a huge gamble.

[peepster]

Thanks kaius for sharing your story I do believe that people change from 20 - 30 but part of the fun of a relationship is changing with one another. I met my ex went she was 18 and I was 20 too very young people. But some of the reason I'm having a hard time with this is because she was there when I changed from 20 - 25 and she changed how I am and I changed based on her and I like who I have become and I believe part of it came from her. However she must have changed too much or didn't like the person I influenced her to be. I think if you find the right person and both change the same ways or complement one another than you are safe, and I thought we were that way. I still think we are but I don't think she realizes it.